Exploration
by Enigmatic Ethereality
Summary: Yuri-Sakura/Ino-Rated:M. There's a thin line between experimentation and exploration. Sakura and Ino are room-mates and best friends. Sakura loves Ino. Ino is just curious...
1. Gay as in Happy?

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.

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**Chapter 1: Gay as in happy?**

No.

I couldn't chicken out now. Absolutely not—it was out of the question.

Yet, as I stood there—outside of our dorm room—with my breathing rhythm near hyperventilation, and my skin clammy and wet, I realized the resolve I had fought and prepared for was now gone. I had lost my nerve, plain and simple. I was such a coward.

Something inside of me was raging, upset at this turn of events. Something inside urged me on, screaming unintelligibly with the passion of a thousand magnificent sunsets. Hot, orange, and motivating.

I took a step forward and the force within me celebrated, coaxing, enticing me with its courage. I wish I were more like that at times. Courageous and brave.

I pushed the door open with my eyes on the prize.

She was here. She was waiting.

Quickly, as to not lose my nerve anymore I blurted, "I'm gay."

Shit, that was _not_ what I wanted to say.

Suddenly, laughter fell on my ears and I pushed the door open further to see someone else in the room with her. My face felt as if those sunsets were now settling on my cheeks to rest for an hour, maybe two.

How embarrassing.

Wait, what was she doing in our room anyways?

"Congrats Sakura," the laughing girl said, snickering as my target eyed her warily. "Finally, you realize you like girls. What else is new?"

I blushed even harder, if possible, before my pride caused anger to build in me suddenly.

"Shush Temari; quit it," my roommate scolded. Her eyes softened a little when she turned to look at me. Looking into her eyes was like flying with a backdrop of cloudless blue skies. Somehow, they quelled the rage within me, just a little.

I turned away, still feeling embarrassed. "I'm gay" was certainly not what I meant to say… I mean, it was, partially, but that was just the surface.

"Ino, are you serious?! Everyone already knows she's gay."

"Temari, quit it," Ino said again. I could tell she was looking at me, I could feel her eyes washing over me, a gently breeze in the park. Still, I was angry, and embarrassed. Nothing was going to fix this.

"Shut the fuck up Temari," I said, curtly, turning to look back at her. "So what if 'everyone knows'?! I'm here to tell Ino, because she has too much respect for me to make assumptions."

"Sakura, relax," Ino attempted but I was having none of it.

"No," I barked. "Temari, leave."

"No way," she said, looked appalled, yet relaxed still. Her dark blue eyes were gazing at me smugly.

"Temari, you don't have to leave," Ino said to the dirty-blonde before turning to me. "Calm down Sakura."

Suddenly, I lost my steam.

"Sure, whatever," I mumbled, turning and leaving. If I wasn't wanted in my own room…

Somehow, I ended up in the library, reading.

If there was anything better than real life (and I'm guessing there are a lot of things better than real life for me) it was a good story. I'd found a random novel and had begun reading it. I did that often after recently realizing there was more to reading than textbooks and assignments. I could read to make myself happy, if I wanted to. It didn't have to be material relevant to my classes, though I had nothing against that at all.

I had been there for nearly an hour and a half, just reading. About twenty minutes ago, Ino had joined me, reading a magazine—or looking at it, because it wasn't a magazine that someone would actually read.

Ino and I had been best friends since we were both very young. Sometime during middle school we had both taken a liking to the same boy, Sasuke Uchiha. We ended up hating each other, somehow, and made each other's lives a living hell every day. We got over that, however, at the beginning of junior year when Sasuke chose Ino.

The beginning of junior year was when we both went back to being who we were.

I went back to being the scrawny bookworm with a terrible temper and Ino went back to being the gorgeous, witty girl she always was. And we clicked, right back into place.

Ino had been dating Sasuke off and on for about two years now. I had been… well, I had been exploring. I had been exploring my sexuality, tentatively. I say "exploring" instead of "experimenting" because I wasn't testing anything. I was simply discovering new things in the realm of which I existed. I knew I was a lesbian; therefore, I didn't need to experiment. I needed to learn. I'd had a few dates with girls and had even had a lasting relationship with one (which failed terribly), all in secret, of course… or so I thought. I hadn't realized that I appeared so… gay. That wasn't my intention. I didn't wake up one morning and decide to exude homosexuality. I was just being me—weird old me.

"Sakura?" Ino asked, softly. I was blushing, trying my hardest not to look at her.

She had changed so much. She was calmer; cool and collected. She had gotten prettier too; much prettier. She was beautiful.

I loved her.

That was what I meant to say when I walked into our dorm—that I loved her and that I felt that she deserved to know.

What difference would it have made? I was strange and unattractive. I hadn't changed at all. Short tempered, thin, nerdy… I hadn't changed.

She wouldn't want someone so static. She'd want someone like Sasuke, someone dynamic and changing, developing, growing. He had grown and he was so handsome. The two of them seemed perfect together. Only Sasuke was handsome enough to compliment Ino's beauty.

I was a girl, anyways. She didn't like girls.

"Sakura, please talk to me. I'm sorry," she said again, and I felt bad for her thinking that I was angry at her. I had just been lost in my head, that's all.

"Yeah," I mumbled, wondering if she found my behavior childish.

"I'm sorry."

I wanted to tell her to shut up. Who was she apologizing to? Me? I should've been the one apologizing.

"No, I'm sorry," I said daring to look into her pale blue eyes.

"It's ok," she said, smiling. She brushed back some hair and I marveled at how pale and blonde it was. Such a unique color, yet it was normal, compared to mine. I envied her normality. I envied her heterosexuality and her normal hair color. I envied her beauty.

I envied Ino, yet secretly…

"I'm sorry for interrupting you too," I mumbled, though feeling as if I shouldn't apologize for that anyways. She had taken her time getting down here, no doubt still talking to that bitch.

Temari, probably the biggest dyke of them all, and there she was accusing me that way. I had explored with her a few times, which was why I knew. She was a bitch. I don't know why Ino hung out with her—they were really good friends. I couldn't see how Temari hid her gayness so well either. Yet boys flocked her, like flies drawn to fly paper.

I had been tricked that way too.

I walked away with a broken heart.

_She_ had been that failed relationship.

"It's ok. We weren't talking about anything important…"

"Oh," I said, but I didn't believe it. She was just being nice, and it kind of sickened me. At that exact moment, I missed the mean Ino who'd call me "forehead" or "billboard brow".

Silence permeated the air between us and I felt the urge to continue my book.

"So… you're gay."

I looked at her, wanting to say something snarky to reply, but when I met her eyes and saw the smile on her perfect lips, I began to laugh. She laughed with me.

That was the last of our discussion about my sexual orientation after that.

Well, for a little while.

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**A/N: New story? Perhaps. It's something I've been working on for a while, since before Aesthetics. I began writing this one first, hit writer's block, and then wrote Aesthetics. I didn't really want to put this one up on FF (I mean, 13 chapters, and I had no desire to even post the first one), but when things begin to look like hell in my life, I realize I need to write because there only 4 things that can quickly lift my spirits: Glee, playing guitar/ukulele, hanging out with friends, and reading reviews. Since the new season of Glee isn't scheduled for until April, I'm in no mood to play my instruments, and I'm suck in my house because of a random snow storm, I figured it wouldn't hurt to start a new story. So here it is. Please review; I receive gratification from the fact that I've entertained someone, somewhere, with my words.**

**-E.E.**


	2. These Lonely Hours I Live

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.****

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**Chapter 2: These lonely hours I live…**

I was absolutely ashamed of myself.

Senior year and I was still checking out my best friend when she got dressed in our room.

I was despicable, disgusting, and unworthy of anything good. Especially something as good as Ino's body. Holy shit, she was perfect. Every time I saw her get undressed for bed I wanted to run my hands down her body and feel _every_ curve. Not to mention how wonderfully her breasts had grown over the years.

I blushed, and buried my face in my pillow. I was such a horn dog. I was no better than the dirty boys who ogled her ass in the hallways.

"Sakura, what did I tell you about sleeping on your face?" she said it with such innocence, I wondered if she were immune to dirty thoughts or intentions.

I turned to look at the wall, cursing myself for choosing the lower bunk. Instead of looking at the ceiling at night, I'd look at Ino's bunk above mine, imagining her peaceful face as she slept. That and I couldn't face the rest of the room while Ino was dressing and _not _get an eye-full.

Was this healthy? What kind of question was that anyways? Everyone knew love was very unhealthy.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? I'm sure Sasuke won't mind," she asked, slipping on her little black dress. That dress she wore, every now and then, was for when she wanted to floor her date. I hadn't seen that dress in months.

I wondered if Sasuke was getting any from her. No doubt she could get some from him if she wanted.

"I'm fine," I said, flipping open my book. "Hinata's coming by later to get some help with her work."

"Oh yeah, hmm, ok," she said, seeming satisfied as she adjusted her dress and bra.

"You look great," I said, before I could stop myself. She gave me an awkward glance, and I bit my lip before looking back down at my book. My spot lamp was on, so I could see the text on the pages perfectly. It was hard to read in a bunk bed without extra light.

"Thank you," she finally said before stopping in front of the mirror to make some final adjustments to her hair.

She had worn it down and it flowed down her back like a field of wheat on a windy day, stopping just above her butt. God, that dress should be illegal; the way it hugged her curves…

"Call me if anything happens," she said, while spraying some of her perfume. If I had been observant, or even in the right mindset, I wouldn't noticed what she said—as if she was worried something bad would happen to me while she was out. Instead, I inhaled deeply in a sigh at the sound of her voice. The scent of spring flowers filled the room.

Her scent would linger in my nose until she returned.

I spent a little while reading my book, getting further and further. I realized that I had the urge to sit up for another few hours and finish it. I realized suddenly, that there was a purpose behind the beautiful and lyrical prose—wasn't that true for all literature?

_The Hours_ was indeed a wonderful novel. (1)

I soon heard a tentative knocking on my door and stood to answer it.

On the other side stood Hinata, cute and shy, arms laden with her textbook and notes for Statistics. We would conquer the "chi-squared test of goodness" tonight.

And this was true. After a few minutes, she understood everything. She had only come for help, because the book had been hard to decipher and she wasn't sure if what she had been doing was right. She had missed class the day before because she had been sick. She felt better today, but our teacher was out, so we only did worksheets and bookwork to review. I promised her I would help her, after she had asked during class, and asked her to come by later.

She blushed, thanking me again, her cheeks painted a soft pink. Her eyes, a smooth, light slate gray (was that color merely a mixture of azure and gray?), met mine hesitantly. I took her books from her again, because she had already prepared to leave, and set them on my bed. I leant forward, and our lips connected, softly.

Hinata had been one of the girls I had explored with. She had been the first girl to kiss me. She was bisexual, but no one knew that. Well, I did, but that didn't really count.

When my fingers found the nape of her neck and had delved into her long raven hair, she pulled away. She wanted to say something, I could tell. I knew this about Hinata. I could read her; just like all of the novels I had read and lived and enjoyed. She was shy and loyal. She had a good sense of justice. She was beautiful.

"Sakura," she began. "I... I d-don't think we s-should do this," she stuttered cutely.

I leaned forward, kissing her jaw, and her silky hair tickled my cheek.

Why shouldn't we? I wanted to ask her, but I didn't. Instead I pulled away from her soft, flawless skin. I pushed her books off of my bed and lay down, leaving enough room next to me for her. She looked hesitant, and I hoped to quell her worries with a smile. She smiled back and was soon lying next to me.

"Sorry about that," I said, after a while. "I just want to talk."

"It's ok," she said, sounding comfortable. She didn't stutter as much when she was comfortable, and I admired how much she had grown. She had changed, just like Ino had. She was certainly more confident, her hair was longer, and her breasts were definitely...

Gees, I lived in a gutter, didn't I? A deep, dirty, lesbian gutter. (2)

She really had grown, though. She had changed for the better. A tiny fragment of me wished I could change too. I had grown too comfortable in my awkwardness, I realized. Nothing good was to come from that. Nothing good ever came from being content with discontent. (3)

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close.

"Sakura…" she began and I sighed.

"Please, Hina," I used her nickname. "I've been feeling… kind of empty lately—cold inside, all of that emo stuff. I just want to hold you. It doesn't mean anything… I just…"

"It's ok, Saku," she replied, also using my nickname, as if I using hers was a hint of permission.

I held her tightly that night, reveling in the warmth she brought to me. All I needed was a little human interaction. All I needed was to know I wasn't alone and that someone cared about me. All I needed was to know that there was a reason to live the many hours that would follow the ones I spent holding her in my arms.

She left, five 'til eleven. She had to be "on hall" by eleven. She didn't want to be late…

She had no reason to be late. I wasn't that important. Had it been Naruto, her boyfriend, she might've been late five minutes—just like Ino.

Lucky for Ino, our hall mistress was busy with her own troubles. The heater in the lounge was broken and it was like a sauna in there. The girls were complaining because that was where they all hung out after eleven. I usually stayed in my room, reading.

Ino came in kind of quiet-like. I supposed she was being stealthy, like a ninja. She often claimed she was a ninja, and so I'd play along and claim I was too. It was a cute little game we played…

I looked up asking, "How was your date?"

I regretted it the moment I laid eyes on her. She was crying.

Ino Yamanaka was crying.

I was off of my bed and had my scrawny, uncomfortable arms around her in a second. She buried her face into the crook of my neck and cried, her hands coming up to rest on my shoulders. She was so warm…

When she was finally out of tears and was calmed down she proceeded to tell me that Sasuke had broken up with her.

I was angry. Why had that asshole broken up with her? Didn't he understand what he had? Didn't he know how lucky he was?

She deserved to be treated better than how Sasuke treated her. I could treat her better. I wanted to treat her better. Somehow, I knew I'd never have the chance to.

I felt like crying too.

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1- _The Hours_ is a great book. As is _Mrs. Dalloway  
_2- Yeah, I'm one of those people who think that homosexuals/bisexuals are overtly sexual people (yes, I make the generalization with the knowledge of exceptions, like myself). I mean not to offend anyone, but that just from my observations of those around me and of the media that targets the gbl community. There's nothing wrong with that, I guess; I just lack sexuality, so it just kind of annoys me. Anyways...  
3- "Don't be content with discontent" is my life's motto. chyeah.

**A/N: I remember that this chapter was a bit difficult to write for me because the protagonist embodies some things that I find unacceptable (like universal lust amongst other things). But hey, don't mind me, I'm just a prude. (lol, not entirely) Sakura's character doesn't really develop too much in this story, but she does a little, which is very normal/realistic. No one makes huge changes to themselves in a short period of time... unless I'm mistaken? (I'm just a big box of opinions, huh? haha) **

**Thanks for reading, and please review.  
-E.E.**

**Oh, and to my faithful anonymous reviewer- thanks for letting me know. :)**


	3. Run, Catch Up With the Future

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

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**Chapter 3: Run, Catch Up With the Future**

So, for the first time ever, I heard that someone was jealous of me.

Yeah, I know, definitely not something to get excited over, but for some reason, I couldn't help but do that. I guess it was because I found it strange. Someone was envious of the weirdo. Someone was envious of me…

It just didn't seem right.

It, in fact, seemed very wrong.

Our grades for midterms were posted on the boards right outside of the class hallways. Ever year, I'd been in the top three for grades. For the first time ever, my name was in the number one spot for all of my exams.

Sakura Haruno was number one at something. When I was checking the results, I heard people mumbling and muttering. Usually, I ignored stuff like that because I had heard one too many negative comments about me, but just this once I let some float into my ears.

"Wow, can you believe it? That Haruno's pretty smart."

"I know! I'm so jealous."

Of course, it went downhill from there.

"Yeah, but it's to be expected from someone who spends all of their time reading and studying. I heard she doesn't socialize, at all."

"It's true. I'm on her hall and she never hangs out with us."

"Eh, well she'll just keep getting top scores then, because I don't feel like sacrificing my social life for a few extra points."

"But can you believe she beat Nara? That's intense. That's, like, a first."

I pulled away from the crowd, feeling my temper growing within me. The last thing I wanted to do was explode and seem like even more of a loser. When I turned away, however, I was met by a… terrible, terrible sight.

"Sakura! My love!"

I cringed at hearing his obnoxious voice, wishing he'd disappear. Literally.

"Congratulations on your top scores! Of course, that is only to be expected from someone with your mental prowess and beauty and grace."

"Thank you Lee," I mumbled, getting into the elevator hesitantly, knowing I was only trapping myself in hell for a few moments.

"Oh, don't thank me," he smiled, his wide, raccoon-like eyes gazing at me, framed by very thin eyelashes. He was a creeper, though a very good person at heart.

"Lee, I really must get going now," I said as the elevator opened on my floor.

"Ok my beautiful Sakura blossom! I will see you later! Perhaps we can have lunch together," he was still making suggestions as the elevator doors closed. I blushed, still not used to his compliments. I rarely got compliments, so Lee's extravagant ones often proved to make me blush.

At times though, I felt as if he were the only one who appreciated my soft pink hair.

I smiled, with a blush, knowing that he was a good friend. I should treat him better.

I used my fob to get into the dorm hall, ready to read another book I had picked up from the library. As I was passing one of the open doors I heard idle chit chat.

"So, Sakura got top scores over Shikamaru this time around," someone gossiped.

Originally, I had been just heading down the hallway, but at hearing my name, I reflexively stopped. Deftly, I tiptoed closer to stand near the door. Time to play ninja…

"She's so fucking weird," one girl said.

"Aw, come on. I like her," another girl defended.

"She never talks to any of us. The only girl she talks to is Ino, and I think she does that because she's her roommate and she _has_ to talk to her."

"Oh, that's not true. She and Ino are best friends, plus she talks to me every now and then."

"Yeah, whatever. She's weird, and that's how I feel and I'm sticking to that."

"Ok, well you should get to know her."

"And have her think I'm interested?! No way."

I blushed, once again angry, and stalked off to my room.

I knew the two girls who stayed in that room.

_As if_ I was interested in her anyways—stupid bitch. She shouldn't flatter herself.

Tenten was nice, though, and cute too!

I groaned, annoyed with myself. That was one reason why I didn't talk to the other girls. I'd find myself running compatibility tests on them. Along the road, I'd be assessing them, rating their bodies, and all sorts of unreasonable things. That wasn't fair to them. I felt bad for doing it… They didn't deserve that.

Just, sometimes I wished they'd just leave me alone. I didn't talk about them to Ino or Hinata. That wasn't fair. I stayed in my room and read because I had a short patience and didn't want to offend anyone. Plus, I liked reading, was that a crime?

"Congrats on your scores," Ino said as I entered the room.

"Huh? Oh… yeah… Thanks," I said glancing at her lying in bed, listening to music. She'd often sing along with the music. She didn't have the most spectacular voice, but it was surprisingly soft and mellow. It matched her inner beauty. I loved when she sang.

She wasn't singing now, though.

"Hey, Sakura?"

"Huh?" I answered, clumsily tripping over the rug next to my bed. It was gray, and somewhat unsightly, but it kept my feet from freezing when stepping out of bed. It was either that or cold, hard tile.

"Do you want to come to 9th street with me?"

"Where are you going?"

"I just want to walk around. There's a bookstore we can go to," she coaxed.

Ah, yes. My favorite bookstore, aside from B&N. I was soooo in.

We walked around 9th street and the surrounding roads and I realized Ino just wanted to walk, and maybe talk to me. I was perfectly fine with that too. It was a gorgeous day and I was taking a stroll, arms linked, with a gorgeous girl. Fuck, I'd walk around aimlessly all day with her, just to feel her arm against mine.

"We don't have to go to that bookstore if you don't want," I suggested, blushing just a bit when she turned to look at me.

"Are you kidding? Not go to the book store and miss that look on your face when you walk in and realize you're surrounded by books?! No way," she smiled at me, and her eyes met mine.

God, I loved her.

So we went to the bookstore and I looked around, noting books they had that I had read and books that I hadn't read. My small bookshelf, filled with a few choice novels I had brought from home with me, probably wouldn't take but a few more books… Should I even buy them now? Or should I wait until I returned home?

But dammit! I wanted to buy them. All of them.

Of course, I was nowhere near the monetary status to embark on such an endeavor. I'd have to finish school, with perfect marks, and continue to succeed in college, become the medical doctor of my dreams, buy a house… settle down (would I ever?)… Buy a lot of books to fill my library with.

On the thought of settling, I imagined Ino living with me, like we were now except closer, and we would take walks around the neighborhood, hand in hand (fuck this linked arms shit), and when we'd return home, I'd make love to her.

Ok, so that was a bit farfetched. I think, if ever given the chance to make love to Ino, I'd faint and miss my moment. Then again, maybe 'Inner Sakura'—as I've named the brave, courageous, and ill-tempered part of me who resided in my mind—would ravage Ino, as a woman should be ravaged.

Ha, what was I thinking? 'As a woman should be ravaged'? Haha, what the fuck? I wasn't right in the head.

"Sakura?" Ino's concerned voice called out to me.

I blinked coming to my senses as I registered her voice.

"Huh?"

"Are you ok?"

"Umm, yeah," I said, blushing. I took a final glance at the novel I had picked up and set it down. "Let's go."

We began to walk back and it was kind of quiet. My legs were beginning to hurt, and I realized that I hadn't really gotten a lot of exercise lately. Maybe I'd go for a jog a little later…

"Hey, Sakura?"

"Hmm?" I replied, keeping my eyes on the broken, uneven sidewalk.

"Back in the bookstore… when you were zoned out… What were you thinking about?"

"What was I thinking about?" I repeated as we stopped at a crosswalk waiting for the cars to go by.

"Yeah."

"Um, well, the future I guess."

"The future?" and with that tone of voice, I would tell she was making that cute little face when she puffed up her cheeks and wrinkled her nose. I looked up to see just that and she tilted her head to the side, just slightly, her long hair swinging to the side just a bit (and of course it was back into its signature ponytail). Oh my god, she was cute.

"Yeah, just how I'd live and stuff," I blushed, opting to not look at her anymore.

"How'd you get to thinking about that?" she inquired as we began to cross the road.

"Well, I was thinking about all of the books I wanted to buy," I began and she smiled fondly at me.

"And that makes you think about the future?" she cocked an eyebrow upwards, as if in major disbelief. I blushed, wondering if I left it unexplained, would she think of me as irrational and strange.

"Well, I was just thinking about finishing school, college. Getting a job and settling down… buying books."

She laughed at that last part and I smiled.

"You _would _add 'buying books' to a list like that." As her smile waned slowly, I wondered what she was thinking, but I never got a chance to inquire because she said, "I never knew you thought about stuff like that… You're so focused and goal oriented. If only I were the least bit as focused and serious as you… I wouldn't have the problems I have."

Problems? Ino had problems (other than Sasuke) that I didn't know about? Why didn't she share these things with me? I thought we were supposed to talk about this kind of stuff with each other. That's what best friends did, right?

"Oh, Sakura," she smiled lightly, but I could tell it was fake. "Stop looking so worried. Hey, some of the girls on our hall wanted to hang out tonight and they wanted to know if you'd come along."

"What? Why are they inviting me? They don't like me," I huffed as we neared the school.

"What? Don't say stuff like that."

"But it's true, Ino, and quit trying to make me feel better. I hear them talking about me. Some of them do it, aware of my presence. Why would they want me around? To make fun of me?" I muttered, angrily, as we walked up the sidewalk towards our school.

"Oh, please come with me Sakura. They only do that because they don't know how awesome you are. If you came with me, just once, I'm sure they'll learn that you're actually a really nice person."

I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking. As if one moment would change their minds. As if they were that fickle. I wanted to tell Ino, to scream out to her, that I was NOT a nice person. I was only nice to her because I liked her so much. Had it not been for that, I would've been uber bitch, Inner Sakura released to play. Or I just wouldn't have talked to her.

"So, how much did you bet you could get me to come?" I mused, jokingly, knowing I couldn't stay mad at all while I was in her presence.

"20 bucks," she said, not realizing I was joking.

"Are you serious?! You bet on that?" I feigned anger, but then began laughing. I should be a sadistic bitch and ruin their fun little get together by merely showing up. I could get Ino a bit of cash too.

"M'kay then, so you don't lose any money," I complied with a soft smile.

"Really?!" she lit up, looking really excited.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" I shrugged my shoulders and she tackled me in a hug.

"Thanks so much Sakura!" she let go and smiled at me. Her eyes, as clear as a cloudless blue sky, were shining.

Was that me? Was I the cause of that happiness? Probably not but…

The possibility scared me, and I decided to go on that jog earlier than planned.

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**A/N: I apologize for not getting to reply to my reviews last chapter. I've been really busy lately, and really lazy. Forgive me? :3**

**Thank you for reading, please review!  
-E.E.**


	4. Whispers of Pain

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

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**Chapter 4: Whispers of Pain**

When I returned to school, I was covered in sweat; it was gross, absolutely disgusting. However, I realized I had needed that run for far more than physical strength. I had needed to think. I was barely aware of my hall mistress, when I arrived, lecturing me about going off without telling anyone where I was going. I knew I had gotten in trouble and had received some kind of punishment, but I barely remember what. Detention or bathroom duty; something petty like that.

Walking down the hallway I noticed a few girls watching me from their rooms. I paid them no mind as I stopped at the room second from the end of the hallway. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Ino was there, standing in the middle of the room, back facing the door, yelling into the phone.

Who was she talking to?

When I shut the door, she turned swiftly and seemed surprised to see me there. She stopped mid sentence, lips parted slightly. Her eyes were wild, dark with anger, and that dissipated slowly, only to reveal frustration.

"Hold on," she said into the phone, curtly, with icy power in her voice. Her eyes were on mine, worry and annoyance shining through. I stood there, expecting to be chastised. She didn't say a thing, and I didn't say a thing. She dropped her hand to the side, phone still clasped within it tightly.

"Why did you run off like that?" she was straightforward, and it made me uncomfortable. She never talked to me like that… I realized whoever she was talking to must've made her angry. I didn't need to be vented on. I pretty much ignored her and headed over to the chest of drawers where my clothes were. I grabbed my bathroom basket, some extra clothes, and turned to look at her, still calm and mellow, despite the fact I had just been spoken to as if I were some child who just said a bad word.

"I'm going to take a shower," I told her, and she looked angry.

"We'll talk afterwards, once _that_ is settled," I said, pointing to the phone, "and when you're calm."

I turned and left the room. The girls were still peaking out into the hall.

What was going on?

I scowled and stalked off into the bathroom, not noticing Tenten leaving her room to follow me.

When I got to the bathroom, I groaned slightly, once seeing my name had replaced others' names on the chart for the rest of the week when it came to cleaning the restroom. Fuck, it wasn't like I had vandalized the school. I had simply gone for a run.

Annoyed and pissed off, I headed over to the other side, partitioned off for the showers.

"Sakura."

I jumped, startled, and turned to face the intruder, hands on her wrists and her up against the wall in a second.

"Whoa, chill," she stammered and I relaxed once I saw it was just Tenten. She looked worried, and I blushed, annoyed at myself for having reflexes like that. I could only attribute that to having a rough time growing up… Unlike most of the students here, I was from the worst part of town. I had had encounters that many of them could never dream of. It had shaped me into one filled with paranoia and distrust. Though, perhaps those were just genetic traits.

"You know, I can do that too," she chuckled, perhaps to lighten the tension.

Oh yes, I knew she could. She was pretty much a member of all of the martial arts clubs here at school. I heard she wasn't all that great at it, but she was really good with weapons. I found that pretty cool.

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing in embarrassment.

"It's ok… I was just worried about you. Ino got us all worried when she told us what happened, and then you showed up looking completely out of it… I know you want your space, but I just wanted to check on you," she said, and I could see the truth in her deep brown eyes. She was really cute… was she dating anyone?

"I'm fine," I huffed, suddenly annoyed with myself. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. I just really needed to go for a run."

"Oh… that was it?" she didn't look convinced, but she left it at that. She glanced at my shower things and clothes scattered about the ground and I did too, realizing I had dropped them in my paranoia. I could tell she was about to offer to help me pick it up, so I shook my head and quickly gathered everything on my own.

"I'm fine, really," I said, folding my clothes neatly and placing them next to a sink. "I just needed to run a little and clear my mind. This past week, with exams and stuff, I've been a little stressed out. That's all."

"Ok, well if you say so," she smiled and I blushed, but smiled back lightly.

"Yeah," I said, waiting for her to leave. She stood there awkwardly for a moment before making a move to leave.

"Alright, well, see you later I guess," she said before leaving.

Well, that was strange.

I stripped down, facing away from the mirror, before jumping into the shower. It was comfortable, and I preferred showering now, opposed to later when the showers would be filled with girls wishing to take a shower before bed. It was uber crowded and I didn't know what was worse; me looking at girls or them looking at me. I mean, I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of some of them (particularly Ino) and I felt dirty when I did catch myself staring. I attributed that part to me knowing I wouldn't want anyone else to see my naked body. Of course, that was because I was very insecure. I had much smaller boobs than many of the other girls. I was uber thin, and because of that, I found myself very unattractive, if not repulsive. I'd often heard other girls commenting on my size, enviously, yet insultingly at the same time—accusing me of all sorts of terrible things like anorexia or bulimia. That wasn't me.

I'd never do that. Sure, there were some times that I got so wrapped up in studying that I'd skip a meal, but nothing serious. I didn't like crowded areas like the cafeteria either. I often snuck plates up from the cafeteria to eat and study in solitude. Ino would too, just to help me out. She'd bring me food. They didn't know.

And HOLY SHIT THAT'S HOT!

I pretty much jumped out of the shower, butt naked, and ripped my towel off the hanger. The sound of a flushing toilet met my ears and I was suddenly pissed. That was another reason why I showered in the afternoons. The bathrooms were almost never frequented during this time of the afternoon. Who the fuck was that?! (1)

Laughing met my ears and I was suddenly angrier than pissed.

"Fuck, you should've seen yourself," she laughed and I turned to look at Temari. I was not only upset, but embarrassed. She had no doubt, seen me naked just then. Who the fuck did she think she was.

"Fuck off Temari," I growled, annoyed beyond reason. My skin was still stinging.

"God, Sakura, you could've at least gotten some implants over spring break or something."

My body was shaking with anger. I wanted to punch her, so badly, but with Temari, I wasn't sure if I could win the fight. Plus, I was practically naked. That would put me at a disadvantage because I would be too preoccupied with her seeing me naked again.

She moved closer to me, and I tensed, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Sakura," she said, in a really low sultry voice.

Fuck, she was hot.

But dammit! I hated her.

"Leave me alone," I pressed out between clenched teeth.

"Oh, come on. It was only a joke."

"Leave me alone," I repeated.

"Sakura, come on. I'm sorry, ok?" She took a step forward and I took a step back. "I'm really sorry. I'm sorry about picking on you, and making fun of you. I'm sorry about being a total bitch. You know I'm not really like this."

"Yeah right," I huffed, pushing past her. "This is the _real_ you Temari. All of those moments I spent with you, with the fake you, are long forgotten. I know who you really are. I'm not going to fall for that again. I'm smarter than that."

I stood in front of the mirror, wishing I hadn't. There I stood, thin and pale, with errant scars—faint whispers of pain—littering my shoulders. I remembered their origins. I didn't want to revisit those memories.

I could see Temari's stoic image in the mirror. Her deep teal eyes, the color of tropic waters, were on mine.

She spoke carefully—calculatedly, "I was only joking, Sakura. I like your body the way it is. I like the feel of your skin. I like the size of your breasts."

Lies. Lies. Lies.

I wish I hadn't shared my insecurities with her. I wish I hadn't ever felt so deeply for her.

I clenched my eyes shut, feeling tears as the memories came rushing back to me.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

"Go away!" I yelled, sharply. I didn't open my eyes, but I heard a sigh and retreating footsteps. When I finally opened my eyes, Temari was gone.

I was upset because I actually missed her and what we used to have together, despite that it was all a lie.

And there I was, convinced that I was in love with Ino. Could someone as fickle as I ever be in love?

* * *

1- I hate when this happens. I'm a part-time boarding school student (I'm not even going to bother to attempt explaining this), but evertime I'm at school showering, some asshole flushes the toilet. Sometimes it's someone on another floor unknowingly cooking my skin. Gee, thanks.

**A/N: I'm a little late with this, but I haven't been home all weekend. Anyways, Happy Valentine's Day and if you're flying solo like me, Happy Single's Awareness day. ;) To make up for the short-ish chapter, I will update soon.**

**Thank you for reading, please review!  
-E.E.**


	5. My, My, What a Sexy Mustache

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: My, My, What a Sexy Mustache**

So there I sat, with a bunch of other girls, in the hall lounge, late at night.

Fuck. I just wanted to read, but I _had_ promised Ino that I'd attend this… get together with her, and I refused to just avoid her all night. We hadn't really talked about what happened, mainly because I didn't want to and was feeling quite emotional lately. Ino was in a bitchy mood as well. We wouldn't have gotten much talking done; I knew this for a fact.

The night started out with everyone idly chatting. I spent my time with Tenten, just listening to what she had to say, and not with Ino. I wasn't mad with Ino, but as I mentioned before, we weren't the best company for one another at the moment. That, and she was in a small group that harbored a girl that I just didn't feel like handling that night; Temari. The two of them spent most of the time talking with just themselves. I wondered what about… Ino and Temari didn't seem like two girls who'd be friends, apart from the basis of being the most desirable girls at the school. I tried to not pay attention to them, but I kept feeling their eyes on me and it unnerved me.

Tenten managed to keep my attention by humoring me with her ridiculous crush on Hinata's cousin, Neiji. I didn't understand why girls like her liked guys like him. Neiji was an elitist, pompous, asshole. Or, maybe I just saw him that way because I wasn't from a rich family and I'd had a few encounters with him that were not enjoyable.

From there, the night progressed into a large game of Ten Fingers (or Never Have I Ever, as some girls called it). Some of those girls, I learned that night, had been mighty wild. I only realized, with my sexual explorations, that I was probably the one who'd lose that game the quickest. I'd pretty much tried everything sexually, as well as a lot of things society would deem as unacceptable, like stealing, and drugs. That had been a quick phase in my earlier years of high school, however, back when I lived at home; back when I had influences as such around.

Back then wasn't a happy time for me.

I was so glad I got into this school, just barely. Look at where I was now. I'd finish with the high marks I promised myself I would get. I would change my life. I would work hard, for my dad and myself. We wouldn't have to live the way we had been living. I knew it was easier for him when I was at school, but that he missed me as well. I knew that I had to do well to get into college and earn some scholarships. I had to do it. I had to.

What the hell was I doing here, watching teenage girls play petty party games? I needed to review my notes and prepare for my final trimester of high school.

"Sakura?" Tenten asked me, breaking me from my train of though. I felt uneasy, like I was running out of time. There goes my paranoia again—my anxiety. Get a hold of yourself, Haruno.

I blinked, looking at her in confusion.

"Are you going to play Truth or Dare with us?" she asked. I could only focus on her hand on my arm, warm and alive. Her brown eyes were filled with worry. I blushed and pulled away from her touch.

"Sure," I sighed, remembering my promise to Ino who was watching me, carefully.

And so the game began, with a group of about fifteen girls. One of our hall-mates had a laptop and was using an online question generator for the game. Some of the questions were really creative, and some of them were really deep. Most of the dares were dumb, but a few were pretty humorous. One girl had to sit around in her underwear and bra for a whole two rounds, which was a long time, because there were so many people playing. Of course, I didn't mind.

I hated to admit it, but I was having a pretty fun time.

"Have the player opposite of your draw a mustache on you," a girl read, and I saw Temari scowl as a girl got up, with a pen, and drew on a curly black mustache above her lip. It took all of my power _not_ to laugh hysterically at her face. Inside, I was bubbling with laughter.

"Truth or Dare, Ino," the girl said, once the laughter died down.

"Umm," Ino contemplated before finally deciding on, "Truth."

"How many—" the girl started and then began laughing with a ridiculous blush on her cheeks. "How many orgasms have you had in one sitting?"

The rest of the girls began to laugh and I wondered if Ino would actually answer that question. Even I had never talked to her about that before; and we were best friends.

"Ah!" she exclaimed, embarrassed. "You can't actually expect me to answer that question!"

"Oh, come on Ino, we're all friends here," the girl coaxed. "Here, you don't have to answer it, but let's make a new rule. If the questions get really personal like that, we _all_ have to answer them."

The unanimous "ok" that ran through the room kind of unsettled me. Did they all have stuff they wanted to get off of their chests that badly? Gees. Or perhaps they were all curious.

"But anyways, Ino, since you chickened out, you have to do a dare!" another girl said.

"Ino, kiss a stuffed animal passionately for 20 seconds," the girl with the laptop read.

"Ha, ok, sure," she said. She left the lounge only to return moments later from our room with a stuffed animal of hers. She proceeded to bury her face into it, "kissing it", which I doubt she was. Who'd want stuffed animal fuzz in their mouth? Anyways, while she was doing this, there were lots of catcalls and whistles. Everyone was having fun, I realized. I also realized that I was having fun too, even if it was at the expense of everyone else's privacy and dignity.

Before I knew it, Tenten was doing a dare.

"Suck your thumb for the entire next round of dares," the girl read. Tenten complied and began sucking on her thumb. We all laughed, even myself.

"Ok, Sakura, Truth or Dare?"

No use sharing my deepest secrets with girls I hardly knew.

"Dare," I said, confidently.

"Give a piggyback ride to a random player."

I shrugged and got up from where I had been sitting, cross-legged.

"Ohh, me!" the girl with the laptop offered, excitedly. I knelt down and allowed her to climb atop my back. As she secured her arms around my neck, I stood up and walked out into the hallway.

"How far are we supposed to go?" I asked her as her chin rested on my shoulder. I felt a bit uneasy with her legs wrapped around me so tightly, yet it was comfortable.

"I'm not sure," she said, and I stopped. "I guess here is good."

I turned around and headed back to the lounge. Letting her down she sat down and smiled.

"That was a fun ride," she said, causing a few giggles to erupt. "Nice and smooth."

I myself chuckled, but not at her innuendo; at the fact that I had just given a piggy back ride to a girl I didn't know. Hell, what was her name even?

The girl before Ino's question was, "Spit or swallow?" and there was an uproar at that one. The reversal of direction, even though the questions were randomized, seemed to make the game different.

"Truth or dare, Ino?" the question was asked again.

"Truth," Ino decided.

"Have you ever thought of suicide?"

It was silent for a moment, the camaraderie gone in an instant. I was curious myself, wondering if Ino had even been unhappy enough with her life to want to end it.

"Yeah," she answered a bit off handedly.

"Why?" Tenten asked, being the caring person she was.

Ino shook her head and the girl I had given a piggy back ride to, who I discovered was named Rina, advocated, "She doesn't have to answer that."

"Ok Temari, truth or dare?"

"Dare," she replied.

"Oh, we can't do this one," Rina frowned. "No guys here."

"Sakura can be our guy for the game," a girl joked. It was the girl that was Tenten's roommate, Akasun. A few girls laughed, quietly, and I glared at her.

"Leave her alone, fuck," Ino groaned in annoyance. Had they been making comments about me under their breaths the whole time? I didn't need this.

"No, forget about it. I know when I'm not wanted around," I muttered, trying hard to not lash out at the bitch that had verbally attacked me. I stood up, prepared to go.

"No, come on Sakura, it was a bad joke. She won't say anything like that anymore, right?" Temari said, threateningly to the girl.

She muttered compliance, and I sat down again next to Tenten, still feeling awkward. Temari, of all people, defending me. I didn't understand it.

Silence permeated the air and Rina asked, "So, Temari, are you going to lick her bellybutton or what?"

I blushed, exasperated. I never agreed to this! This! This exploitation! I wanted to say something, but before I knew it, Temari had made her way over to me. She lifted my shirt slightly and all of the girls gasped as I was pushed backwards and a blush flushed my cheeks. I felt her tongue, warm and strong, in my bellybutton. I looked down at her, having memories flood my mind—memories of heat filled nights and tender kisses.

Oh Temari, why did it have to end the way it did?

She pulled away, slowly, deep teal eyes boring into my own. Fuck, she was hot (even with a stupid looking mustache drawn onto her face; my, my, what a sexy mustache).

She got up and walked back to where she was sitting as if nothing happened. Just like she was supposed to. Just like she had, with our relationship.

The chatter that filled the room made my head hurt, yet it proved to make everyone (except myself, of course) forget about Ino's suicidal thought admittance.

"Sakura, truth or dare?"

"Umm… dare."

"Come one Saku, you haven't chosen truth at all!" Ino complained, and I blushed and looked away.

"Ok, gees," I groaned.

"Alright Sakura," Rina said. "What is the worst thing morally you have ever done in your life?"

I sat, thinking for a while… I had done a lot of bad things before… I had a few tied for first place though.

"Umm, I stole some money from this old lady at a grocery store once to buy some drugs."

The room went silent, and I glanced around, uncomfortably. Fuck, shouldn't have said that one. Should've told the one about… oh, no… that one was certainly worse.

"You do drugs?" Tenten's mouth fell open.

"Noooo! No!" I said, hoping to clear things up. "I used to though… I used to be really messed up."

"Hey, she doesn't have to answer that or tell us anything extra," Rina repeated with a strange look in her eye. Admiration, curiosity, captivation? I didn't know. All I knew was that this girl could be a good friend. She seemed friendly enough.

"Tenten, your turn: Truth or dare?"

"Um, truth."

"How far have you gotten?"

"With a guy? As in…" she stammered.

"Yeah, with a guy," Rina nodded, coaxingly.

It was one of those questions—you know—when _everybody_ had to answer.

Tenten answered with a blush, "Just kissing."

I didn't care much about what anyone else said. I wasn't surprised, however, when Akasun said, "Kissing" as well. As if anyone would want to do anything other than kiss her. Hell, I wouldn't even hold hands with her.

I was all ears when it got to Ino, however. She answered, with a blush, "Oral."

Everyone knew that she had only been with Sasuke. I couldn't help the images of Ino doing _that_ to Sasuke. I felt sick, suddenly. Well, that was until Temari's eyes met mine, briefly.

"Oral," she replied as well.

Ok, so that was expected. Temari had always been sexually adventurous. I was surprised she hadn't actually done the deed with a guy before, though being here made that virtually impossible with all the strict rules we had to follow. Plus the guy I was sure she liked was far too lazy to actually even attempt asking her out on a date.

When it got to me, I didn't know how to answer. I'd had full blown lesbian sex with Temari and a couple other girls, yet I'd never done anything but kiss a guy; the first time had been a mistake and the second time had been just an experiment. I guess I'd have to answer with that.

"I kissed Naruto once," I shrugged.

Everyone laughed. Naruto was someone that caused laughter, just at the mention. I was glad I had said his name and not Shikamaru's. That would've been a hard one to explain to everyone; specifically Temari.

* * *

**A/N: I'm tired, in more ways than one at the moment, and can't think of anything to put in this author's note. so um, just let me know how you liked the chapter. I'd really appreciate that. Do you have any interesting stories about playing these little party games with your friends? I always win at Never Have I Ever because I'm such a goody goody. haha, I'm so fail. v.v**

Thanks for reading; please review.  
-E.E.


	6. Aftermath, Crash and Burn

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Aftermath, Crash and Burn**

I'll admit. Truth or dare was fun. I was tired, however, once our hall misftress kicked us all out of the lounge.

As I was settling in bed, Ino was at the sink brushing her teeth. Tomorrow would be the last day before we were required to head home for the final trimester break. I was looking forward to spending time with my dad.

Ino turned off the light and climbed onto the top bunk.

"Sakura, I never knew you used to do drugs," she said, out of the blue. I realized I had confessed smoking to her, but not getting stoned. Was that a problem? Did she really need to concern herself with that?

"Nothing serious," I decided to explain. "I don't do it anymore. I probably never will, so you can quit judging me," I chuckled lightheartedly.

"And you kissed Naruto!" she laughed. "When did that happen?"

"A long time go," I replied. It _had_ been a long time ago, back in middle school. He used to have the biggest crush on me then. I kissed Shikamaru after I broke up with Temari, however. I felt that maybe, if a relationship had failed so badly with a girl, that I was actually destined to be with a guy. He and I used to hang out a lot and were really good friends (we still are) so I felt comfortable asking him for that favor. I just needed to see if maybe I had chosen the wrong path.

His kissing, however, had been lazy and lacking. I attribute that more to his personality than anything else, not just his gender.

"I kissed Shika a year or two ago," I confessed, laughing to myself. "He put about the same amount of effort into it as he did everything else: none. Even I got confused; I couldn't figure out if I was kissing him, or taking a nap." Ino laughed in reply.

"Why'd you kiss him?"

"Just to test kissing a guy."

And there it was; the connection to my sexual orientation.

"How long have you been… gay?" she asked me, hesitantly.

"I'm not sure, but I've known since the 8th grade. For a few years now, I guess."

"How did you know?"

"I just realized I noticed girls more, and I hardly noticed boys."

"Oh," she replied distantly, but she didn't seem done. "I think I might be too."

_I think_ my heart had stopped in my chest. (1)

Had she really just said that? Was I hallucinating? Was this for real?

I swallowed hard, urging myself to speak. "What makes you think that?"

"I… I figure, if I can't keep Sasuke around, then I could at least keep a girl around… I just, I'm not too sure about it. I mean, I notice girls, but I thought that was normal... I've never really given it much thought."

"Oh," my throat was dry.

"I told Temari and she said that she—"

"Wait, you told Temari," I sat up, suddenly annoyed. Why tell Temari of all people?! Fuck, was I not good enough to be her best friend anymore? Why didn't she tell me? What was going on?

"What, keeping secrets from me?" I huffed, jealous. This was just too much. Temari, that stupid bitch. I knew what she was up to—she was trying to take Ino away from me to make life miserable.

"You're one to talk! Temari told me that you guys dated each other for a little while!"

I blanched, suddenly feeling cold. Why the hell would Temari tell her that?! What was she thinking?! Was she trying to make me look bad? I bet she told her lies to make me look bad. I bet Ino knew nothing about how hard the breakup had been for me; or how much she hurt me during our relationship.

"Ino, look, can we please forget about this for right now."

"No."

I was surprised to hear her voice coming from beside me and not above me. The light from the window showed that she had gotten out of her bunk and was now standing next to mine.

"Scoot over," she demanded. I complied as I did every other time she demanded to intrude in my bed. She often felt the need to sleep in my bed; she used to have a lot of bad dreams, not used to sleeping in a room that wasn't her own. She'd gotten over that as she'd gotten accustomed to boarding school.

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable in my own bed.

"Ino, you should forget about this. I doubt you're gay. You're just going through a tough time because you had your ego damaged. You still like guys, ok?"

"Of course I like guys you dummy," she smacked me on the forehead. I cringed, wondering why her precision was so acute, even at night. Perhaps my forehead had grown.

"I just, think I like girls too."

"Look, you can't have both… ok, that's a lie, you can, but I mean… oh, I don't know. Why are you telling me this anyways? You seem perfectly fine with going to Temari with your problems."

"Oh bullshit, Sakura," she groaned. "I only did that because Temari and I are friends. You were really wrapped up in studying for finals and I wanted to give you your space. You're available now, though, and we're best friends…right?"

"Sorry," I mumbled, thinking back to how much I avoided her (and everyone really) days before the tests. "I apologize for that."

"It's ok," she said, and I could tell she was smiling, even though I couldn't see it.

I smiled too, preparing to get comfortable once again.

"I just have a small favor to ask."

"What?" I groaned, just wanting to go to bed. I just wanted to SLEEP dammit!

"I want to try it with you."

What?! Try what exactly?!

"W-what?" I stammered.

"I want to kiss you."

A statement like that, any other time, would've gotten me hot in an instant. But not now…no…

"Ino, bad idea," I said with conviction.

"Aw, come on! Please, just this once," she pleaded and I hopped out of bed, climbing over her to turn on the lights. As light flooded my senses I saw Ino there in my bed, looking quite pathetic and absolutely adorable. She was beginning to pout, hoping to change my mind. God, she was some sort of enchantress or something, drawing me in with her big blue eyes and perfect lips—but no! I wouldn't fall prey to her advances. I would be strong like Odysseus and resist the Siren's song.

"N-no!" I stuttered, promising myself I wasn't going to let her dejected face break my resolve.

"Please Saku," she whimpered. I realized that she would only take just so much more rejection until she _really _broke down in tears. God, she knew how to get what she wanted.

"Fine," I huffed, moving over to her. "But just once."

I had wanted this for so long, but not like this. I didn't want to be an experiment, a hypothesis. I wanted to be a known fact; I wanted her to be concrete and sure in what she was doing. I wanted to kiss her, but as her girlfriend, who she loved. Not as her best friend who she just wanted to mess around with.

I felt like crying, again, but I choked it down and sat next to her in my bed. I stared into her eyes, the deepest baby blue imaginable. My hand cupped her face, gently, as I leant forward and pressed my lips against hers. She didn't react at first, and I reveled in the softness of her perfect pink lips. Slowly, I tried moving against them, my tongue tenderly coaxing them open. I was successful in my endeavor and her lips parted to expose the prize I had been aching for for a long time. When my tongue touched hers I felt as if I was going to die, I couldn't think, I could only feel the soft muscle moving tentatively against my own. We sat there, kissing for a few moments, my hand delving into her platinum blonde hair, pulling her closer and closer yet. My other hand had snaked its way around her back to rest on her hip.

God, I never wanted this moment to end, and yet I did. This wasn't right. I had ruined my first kiss with Ino, though who is to say I would ever get the chance to again. I was conflicted. I was confused.

I pulled away and stood up, moving as far away from her as possible. My eyes were wet with tears. I didn't want to see her, and I didn't want her to see me crying.

I turned off the lights.

* * *

1- You know that feeling you get when you realize you might actually have a chance with the person you like? Yeah, that's what Sakura felt just then.

**A/N: Sorry, once again, for taking so long to update. Life's been throwing everything at me, all at once. I also apologize for the short length of this chapter.**

**Thank you for reading, and please review  
-E.E.**


	7. Gangly Crane Fly

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Gangly Crane Fly**

I had once written a poem about fly tape, titled "Fly Tape" (yes, redundant, I know; but isn't that the nature of poem titles?). It was simply a collection of a short run of thoughts I had on a crowded piece of fly tape that hung in my kitchen. Earlier that day my teacher had requested we (my classmates and I) write brief poems about what we saw. I figured everyone in my class would write about something monumental, like the guy or girl they liked, or a beautiful flower they saw outside—I had planned to do that too. That was, until I had seen that sticky graveyard, adorned by many dead insects of varying sizes. I knew, in that instant, under the dim, dirty light of my kitchen, that I would _have_ to write about the fly tape.

The poem was short and economical; simply effortless to write:

_Stuck to death, a macabre ornament,  
slowly fading from this world.  
What a cruel, sad way to die.  
What a terrible way to say goodbye._

And that was all (apart from the fact that I had changed the word "terrible" into "unfulfilling"). As I stood before Temari's room early that morning, I realized that I had been drawn to the fly tape long ago and that I was slowly dying, surrounded by others and yet alone. I was the clumsy, gangly crane fly that had stupidly tumbled into the tape during flight. It was willing, yet accidental.

And with that metaphor completed, I was convinced that I would punch Temari's lights out the moment I saw her face.

Unfortunately (well I suppose it was fortunate for her), it wasn't Temari who had opened the door. It was her roommate, Karin (and I knew this because last night had been perfect for me to finally learn my hall mates' names).

"Oh hi Sakura," she said with chipper and I wondered why she enjoyed the mornings so much. I knew I didn't. She smiled and I found myself taking note of how similar her lips were to Ino's; just not as lovely.

"Hey," I said, losing my steam to destroy Temari. I guess talking with her would be better… I didn't want to get expelled.

"Oh, you're probably here to talk to Temari," she blushed and I wondered if Temari had been playing with her heart as well. I wanted to warn her, but perhaps Temari hadn't been doing that.

"Someone here for me?" I heard Temari as she came to the door. "Oh," she said, looking a bit surprised.

I cut right to the chase.

"What did you say to Ino?" I asked her, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. Karin looked startled and backed away quietly. Temari held her ground, looking defensive.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, shrugging.

I wanted to warn her that I was not in the best of moods. I was agitated because I knew that I had been reckless and had gotten myself stuck to the fly tape.

"Look, now's not the fucking time to be playing innocent. You said something to her about you and me, something that should've been forgotten about a long time ago," I hissed, glaring hard into her eyes. Temari was taller than me, by at least three inches, but there was no way in hell I was going to let her get away with this atrocity.

"Look, I only told her what she asked. Whatever is going on is merely a product of you being secretive with your so called 'best friend'," she smiled, smugly, and chuckled.

That bitch!

And then, the unthinkable happened. My Freudian Id won over my Ego and I finally just let go. I felt the biggest adrenaline rush I had ever felt in my life and I let my fist fly, haphazardly, into the doorframe in anger. The sound of wood ripping met my ears and Temari jumped, startled by the quick and fierce impact of my fist against the now detached chunk of wood that used to complete her door frame.

"I'm not fucking laughing! Don't play around with me Temari! I don't like it," I huffed, angrily. I turned and stormed off, suddenly becoming aware that I was not fit to be around people at the moment. The hall was crowded with girls, watching on. Did they not have anything better to do?

Her eyes, deep and blue, were wide and worried and it looked as if she had been prepared to apologize. Well she could forget about that, I wasn't about second chances. Second chances were for those who wished to be exploited. I wasn't looking to be taken advantage of. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

I stomped around the front yard to the school for a while, trekking through the parking lot and weaving through the trees, my mind blank. I saw my hall mistress watching me, every now and then, through the window. My counselor was talking to her. I had once had a lot of anger problems and… I flipped out on this girl who had been cheating off of my test in middle school. That hadn't gone well. Teachers had been instructed to look out for my instantaneous swells of anger. I hadn't had one, yet. I'd been able to keep it all in, until then. Could you imagine? I wondered if they were going to come lecture me now.

I sighed, tiredly, annoyed with myself. Why couldn't I just be normal; like everyone else?

My ears were met with a mirroring sigh and I peered around the tree I was standing near to see Shikamaru resting in its shade. I sat next to him, wondering if he really wanted me there.

"Hey," I tried, and he glanced over at me and revealed a lopsided smirk.

"Hey. Congrats on your scores."

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering I had done well. "Thanks."

"You did really well too," I added, wondering if he cared at all that I had beaten him. Probably not; that's just how he was.

It was quiet once more and I took the time to gaze out across the small expanse of grass to see the school, clean, new, and funded. I often wondered if I really belonged here, with these kids, privileged and elite… I wasn't much different from them. I was qualified to attend. I was just… not like them, that was all.

Shikamaru broke the silence. "What are you brooding over?"

I didn't have to have any reservations when talking with him. He was no gossiper—he rarely spoke to anyone—he could keep a secret.

"Ino… she asked me to kiss her," I mumbled with a fresh blush painting my cheeks the way wispy white clouds dusted the midday sky. My fingers suddenly became very rough with the grass, ripping out the blades in no sort of pattern.

"Why?"

A simple word, and yet it provoked such thought from me. It was indeed a good question. Why had she asked me to kiss her? She said it was because she had failed with Sasuke and…

"She's curious," I said, softly, pained. "Just experimentation, I guess."

"Then what's the problem?" he asked shutting his eyes once more.

"I don't want to be her little play thing, that's the problem!" I huffed, annoyed with him suddenly.

"What does it matter? It's just kissing. It's not going to kill you."

"Yes it will," I thought in my head, "I will die by this curse."

"Shika, you don't understand," I mumbled. He looked at me, calculatingly.

"Sakura, this is no different from that time you asked to kiss me."

"I'm sorry," I said, meeting his narrow black eyes. "I shouldn't have done that to—"

"I don't care, Sakura, but obviously you do. So the question now is 'why'?"

"You can't expect me to just let her mess around with me like that." I knew what he was getting at. He wouldn't hear it from my lips; I was far too stubborn for that.

"You like her, that's the problem. Had it been some fling with a girl you didn't care for, you'd be all over it, but it's not just some random girl. It's Ino, the girl you like. So now, you have to decide Sakura; you're the only one who can make this decision."

"I don't want to, though."

That was a tough decision. Either I indulge in Ino and make out with her whenever she wanted, knowing she was only going through a phase, or I could completely lock her out and walk away without even enjoying her. I didn't want to use her, but I certainly didn't want to make her unhappy. I was at a loss—nothing good could come from this. If I continued to allow Ino to use me this way, I'd only fall for her harder and when she finally decided that she was done with me and she'd had her fill, I'd be even more heartbroken. Absolutely shattered.

"Did you kiss her?"

"Yeah, but then afterwards…"

Afterwards, I turned off the light and wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn't want to get back into bed, because Ino was waiting there for me, but I did anyways. Where else was I supposed to go? If I had left the room or climbed into her bunk I would have betrayed my façade. She would've known something was up. I didn't need her knowing I liked her. I couldn't handle that, especially not then.

I climbed back into bed and Ino seemed ready to chat with me about her first experiment.

"_Saku?" she questioned timidly as I pulled the comforter up._

"_Yeah?" I asked her, cursing myself for allowing a tremor to slip into my voice._

"_I… um… you're lips are really soft."_

"_Thanks," I mumbled. I couldn't speak to her now. She didn't respond and I took comfort in knowing that I had faced away from her, gazing out into the dimly illuminated room._

"_You're a good kisser too," she whispered and I kept quiet. I didn't want to talk about this. No, I just didn't want to._

"_You too Ino," I said to sate her waiting ears. She sighed, and I wondered if it was in relief of my approval. I felt her moving and I wondered if she had turned away from me. That was until I felt her lips press against my cheek._

"_Goodnight," she said. I could feel her warmth fluttering against my face. I swallowed hard._

"_Goodnight," I replied in a bare whisper._

_She kissed me again, half on my lips, "Thank you."_

The wind brushed my hair across my face and Shikamaru looked at me with a frown.

"You kissed her? Well damn, Sakura, you're screwed."

"I don't understand…" I trailed off, confused about what he was saying.

"I _know_ girls like Ino… Once you've kissed her, she'll think she can come back whenever she pleases." (1)

I felt distressed and I wondered how he could keep such a calm and collected demeanor with a situation as such brewing hell right beneath his watchful eye. This was a disaster. A catastrophe. An abomination. I had signed my soul over to the devil. I would soon find myself further stuck to the sticky fly tape, holding fast to its aromatic destruction. I was now her little plaything. A disposable toy. Something as pathetic and useless as those ghetto ass, plastic pieces of shit that come in kid's meals at fast food restaurants.

I had officially become Ino Yamanaka's first fruitless experiment.

* * *

1- Anyone else beginning to wonder about Shikamaru's love life? haha, yeah, don't bother yourself with that.

**A/N: I updated, just as I said I would! I apologize for the slow progression of this story, it does pick up in the next few chapters. Sakura's really found herself in a tough situation, huh? ALSO: I posted a poll in my profile I think you should check out. It involves my next story idea. So please give me your opinion.**

**Thanks for reading; please review,  
-E.E.**


	8. Karma

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Karma**

I found myself sitting on the couch watching television that was more white noise than anything else. A fuzzy station of an info-mercial advertising a ridiculous towel that didn't seem to _really_ do much; you'd think they could keep the word "sham" out of the product name. It was ridiculously overpriced as well and an unsightly orange color. (1)

Cable at home proved to be inefficient, once again.

"Saku!" my dad exclaimed after coming home from work, delighted to find me at home. "I'm so glad you're home!"

I smiled a genuine smile and jumped up to greet him, slipping my thin arms around his thin body. I missed my dad; my favorite guy.

"I missed you," I said, pressing my face into his slightly musky shirt.

"I missed you too," he replied messing up my hair.

"Hey, you want to do anything? Maybe go out for lunch?" he asked, a smile on his face, and his green eyes twinkling—tired, but twinkling.

"Eh, not right now. I'll just make us some sandwiches; maybe we can go out later or something," I suggested, heading into the kitchen.

"Alright, that sounds great. I'm going to go take a shower then," he smiled before heading off.

I sighed, wondering how he was _really_ doing.

No doubt he was stressed and lonely. He couldn't hide the bags under his eyes, not with skin as pale as mine. I opened up the fridge to find a disappointment; there was hardly anything to make sandwiches with. There was some ham and three pieces of bread; I found a tomato, but it was soft to the touch and I believed that, with the blackening occurring beneath its thin red skin, it had gone bad.

I threw it out and grabbed my bag; I'd use the birthday money I'd been saving to get bread, lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo. I left a note for my dad and headed out making sure I locked the door behind me. As I walked the short trip to the corner store, I wondered about dad and how he viewed his life.

He'd made a mistake, he said, and at sixteen gotten my mom pregnant. (2)

They never really elaborated on that much, neither of them. It wasn't a happy time for them—their whole marriage wasn't a happy time. They were married, in an office, merely got the papers signed that way. Every day was a new opportunity to argue and each passing night was another opportunity to fight. My mom, beautiful, blue eyed, and red-headed, had what seemed to be developing into bipolar mania. It was a struggle to live with her, and my dad did try his hardest, but we all knew he didn't love her enough. I doubted he ever loved her at all, and so, when she decided to leave he made very little argument.

He was merely worried about me, not his happiness. He was worried how I'd turn out without a mother, or how he'd take care of me on his own. He was poor, never got a chance to go to college, and my mom paid child support (she was a local model and she had that kind of money). That's how it was; but most of the money ended up in my college fund. He refused to use the money for me to take care of himself.

Always the saint.

I'd allow him his saintliness, but I wouldn't allow him to be a martyr. Death by starvation was a terrible way to go.

It was a fast outing for me, simply because I pretty much ran there and back. The community around my home was one that was very dangerous and I almost always forgot to take my knife with me when I visited home. I once went back to school with an ugly black eye—that wasn't going to happen again.

Lunch was very quiet between us. We merely ate, not speaking, until we were done. We went through the regular parts of our conversation. He asked how I was doing at school and I replied with "ok". Then he went on a mini-rant about how proud he was of me and then asked if I had heard back from any of the colleges I'd applied to, and then I told him that he'd obviously be the first one to know. Then he asked about relationships and I hesitated. I knew that he was worried instantly.

"Don't worry dad," I said while shaking my head. "I'm still single. It's just… some strange stuff has been happening lately."

"…Boys?"

I shook my head and he sighed, in what I thought was relief.

My dad knew I was gay. He was the first one to know—we'd always had a very close relationship. So I supposed he was worried that I'd somehow fallen in love with some guy. He always warned me about guys. He needn't worry about that. I laughed at him shortly and smiled wryly.

"No, it's that girl. The one I always talk about."

"Ino? Still?"

I blushed and looked away, embarrassed, ashamed… something. I didn't really know; he just seemed a bit disappointed.

He sighed again (he seemed to do that a lot) and then returned my wry smile from earlier, "Ah, well it looks like you've got my skill when it comes to relationships."

"That's not very comforting," I mumbled and he laughed at me.

"You get to grow old with your old man! How's that not comforting?"

I laughed with him, glad he was who he was.

After three days of tidying the house (which was left in frightening disarray by my father's hand), reading, and watching crappy 3-channel cable TV, I was anxious to get back to school. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't anxious to leave my dad behind, but school had become more of a home to me than my home actually was. And I found that strange because there wasn't anything really inviting about the place aside from my room, my teachers, my friends, Hinata, Naruto, Shikamaru, and the creepy (but sweet) stalker, Lee. All of that and Ino, but as of late, my mind had warped her into some sort of heart devouring demon who was out to kill me.

I took a shower trying to wash away my thoughts about my best friend. I had just woken up from what I now called a nightmare and I was trying to rinse the remnants away with cold water.

Now, this certainly wasn't my first dream about Ino of that nature… no, it'd happened before. It was just, with these new developments, dreaming about touching her body the way I did brought fear to my mind. What if we got that far? What if I let her take advantage of my weakness (and when I say weakness, I mean love for her)?

The idea of making love to… no, having sex with Ino scared me.

I suddenly felt myself to be silly and mentally berated myself for my thoughts. All we had done was kiss! What does Shikamaru know anyways? I hardly ever see him with girls. Most don't even like him because of his apathy. It would be stupid of me to even take anything he said to heart. I was going to ruin a great friendship because I thought too hard.

When I stepped out of the shower I was distracted for only a couple of minutes from the newfound heat of the house. The air conditioning had broken last night, and I can only say that my house was hotter than it was outside. I spent my last days at home lying around in my underwear rereading books that I had at home.

Another couple of days at home and I was back off to school. When I got there, I immediately spotted Ino in the lobby chatting with a few friends excitedly, talking about the break and the things they did. I waved at her briefly and made my way back to the room with my things in tow. I wouldn't let my thoughts ruin what we had as friends. I _couldn't_ let my thoughts do that.

I was surprised to see Ino come hurtling through the door just as I was putting away my things. She tackled me in a tight hug and I smiled, glad to have the girl as a friend. Her bright blue eyes were twinkling with happiness.

I laughed at myself and the foolish idea of her being a heart devouring monster.

"I missed you Sakura!" she giggled, pulling away from me. I noticed she had new clothes. They felt nice, and they looked wonderful on her.

"I missed you too," I said, eying the white skirt and purple blouse.

I blushed when my eyes met hers and before I knew what was happening, she was kissing me again.

So much for her _not_ being a heart devouring monster.

A knocking on the door interrupted us and I pushed Ino away, dashing to answer it, grateful for whoever it was, even if it was stupid old Temari.

I was pleased to see it was Hinata instead of mega bitch.

Surprise overtook me as she reached forward and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Saku! I have so much to tell you about break," she spoke gently. "Come on."

I looked back to send Ino a fake apologetic smile, but my eyes were met with the envy she had directed towards Hinata. The look left her eyes and she shrugged before pretending to rummage through the bag on her bed as Hinata pulled me away.

Hinata and I walked silently to the front of the school. I was curious to say the least—Hinata had never seemed so animated about anything in her life ever. Well, except for that time Naruto stopped crushing on me and finally asked her out. I concluded that what she was about to tell me was about Naruto and I blushed knowing that I was only going to feel awkward about it.

As we were walking, we walked past Shikamaru who sat in the shade of one tree. I waved at him and he nodded to me lazily. He too was wearing new clothes. I felt a bit underdressed, but sucked it up. It wasn't the first time I didn't return from break with new clothes.

Hinata pulled me down into the grass with her and I smiled at how comfortable she was with me. She lay on her back and I laid beside her gazing up into the trees' branches. She looked absolutely radiant with the slight, cute smile on her lips.

"Naruto spent break with me, at my house," she blushed and I blushed too, imagining what the two did to keep each other entertained.

"We watched movies every night, and went to the park every day. He's so funny."

"That sounds wonderful," I replied, happy for her.

"I think I love him."

I looked away, embarrassed about her embarrassment. Wow, love huh? I once thought I was in love, and that ended terribly. And then, when I felt I was in love again, she turned into a heart devouring monster.

Suddenly, my mind found its way to karma (and I could enlighten everyone with a very detailed stream-of-consciousness account of how I got onto the topic, but I assume that would be quite boring). Hinata was a nice girl—always had been. She was always thinking about bettering herself and everyone around her, and she certainly wasn't selfish. Certainly her stumbling upon love was from her good deeds. I mean, she even befriended me when I was sucking away Naruto's attention from her and she had no ill feelings towards me. Even when I was curious and wanted to start exploring my newly unearthed lesbianism, she hardly even objected to me kissing her…

Oh my god, what if she had been feeling the same sort of anguish I was now going through because of Ino?! What if every kiss we shared was something that caused her restlessness and depression? A distracted mind? But, wait, certainly my troubles were all coming from the fact that I was secretly in love with the girl who was now using me. Hinata wasn't in love with me, I would've seen it.

Whether or not she felt that I way, I still felt it was my duty to apologize and say, "I'm sorry."

She seemed startled by my sudden and seemingly random words.

"Sorry for what...?" her voice was hesitant and apprehensive.

"I'm sorry for forcing you to kiss me and all… That was shitty thing for me to do. I never thought about your feelings or anything. Not to say I'm jumping to conclusions to say you had feelings for me."

She looked at me, with her deep amethyst eyes, and I wondered if she knew what I was thinking.

"Oh, Sakura, it's alright. In fact, when Naruto and I kiss now, I feel so confident."

We wore matching blushes and began to laugh. I felt a little hurt knowing that once again a transgression made by me was being overlooked by an angel. I knew I should've been grateful that she didn't hold grudges, but I felt under-punished because I hadn't been punished at all.

If only everything I'd done in my life that was bad could be overlooked.

Karma certainly was a bitch.

* * *

1- Shamwow... I mention these info-mercials way too much in my writing. XD  
2- Isn't there a TV show now, about being pregnant at 16? I think that's ridiculous.

**A/N: So, for the record, I didn't drop off of the face of the earth. I'm here, and so is this update. I've been rewriting all of the chapters I have for this (that are on stock; up to ch. 14 I believe) because I don't like how they turned out (AKA, I shouldn't ever ATTEMPT to write when I'm in a certain state of mind), so updates will be coming a lot slower. Also, I'm thinking of dropping the rating down to T as well. I think I can, but I'll have to check the guidlines for that before I do. DON'T FORGET TO VOTE IN THE POLL (in my profile) IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! :)**

**Thank you for reading; please review,  
E.E.**


	9. Whatever Tweaks Your Cheeks

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Whatever Tweaks Your Cheeks**

Days went by as I knew they would, without serious incident. Ino continued to request that I kiss her, and I complied, not having the heart to deny her requests. That and she had actually _threatened _me with her "options". She said that Temari was more than willing to help her experiment as well.

That was what drove me to not reject her, but I knew the moment it got really sexual, I'd find myself stuck between a rock and… well, another fucking huge rock.

I realized Ino wasn't the only root of my problem. There were a few other girls at the school who had suddenly become very interested in homosexual activities and strangely enough, I'd become their target. I was suddenly being asked to hang out or go to the movies with—and by girls I didn't even know! At any other time, the opportunity to explore with other girls would've been irresistible, but with my nerves frayed because of Ino and my heart in turmoil, I didn't think it was the best thing for me.

And so, I spent my time spending the least amount of time out of the room as possible.

That meant more time with Ino.

And with that decided I figured I could let go a little and just enjoy her as much as she was enjoying me. Perhaps if I treated her the way I wanted, she'd maybe fall in love with me. I know, a bit farfetched, but it could work… maybe. I knew that was simply Inner Sakura trying to be macho and think up excuses as to why I treated Ino like a queen. Fuck trying to make her fall in love with me; it was my fate to treat her better than she had ever been treated before. This was my chance, however strangely it was presented, and I was going to take it whether I wished to or not.

So that's why, when we were having one of our "makeout sessions" that I gently whispered to her how beautiful I thought she was.

"You really think that, Sakura?" she questioned breathlessly as I pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"Erm, yeah," I blushed, feeling stupid.

"I think you're pretty too," she said, in a shy manner that was very unlike herself. I rolled my eyes and got up from my bed. As if she thought so—she was merely saying that to make me feel better. To make her compliment seem less than what it was.

I felt her eyes on my back, and I struggled to keep the feeling of awkwardness out of my chest. This was too much. How long could I possibly do this for? How long would this last?

I turned to look at her.

"Sakura, do you want to come home with me this weekend?" she asked with a light blush dusting her cheeks. My eyes met her sky blue ones, and once again I felt as if I were floating. But weightlessness wasn't going to make me lose sight of common sense.

"Yeah," I answered, wondering what exactly she had planned for the weekend, "But I also want to see my dad. I owe him the weekends. Sorry."

"Oh, no," she said quickly, tucking some of her blonde hair behind her ear. "I understand… I knew that too—kind of stupid of me to ask."

She chuckled cutely, as if to laugh away her improper request. She looked at me expectantly and I had to wonder what she was waiting for. An alternative, perhaps? Wait; did she want _me_ to invite _her_ over?! To my shitty house? Like hell I'd let her step foot into it. It was absurd, but yet I knew Ino was waiting for an invitation. I was suddenly annoyed with my poverty, and much more, my crippling pride. No way in fucking hell would I invite Ino to my shit hole. I watched her carefully, with a guarded expression, until I wet my lips and tore my gaze away from expectant baby blues.

"Our air conditioning is busted. You'd be uncomfortable," I said curtly.

I suppose Ino was bright enough to pick up on my shame; she was a student at the school as well. She wasn't stupid. She didn't bring it up after that. She was still my best friend and I loved her for that.

However, the blonde beauty followed me around relentlessly after that, every time I left the room after classes. I caught her on many occasions glaring daggers at the girls who had seemed to suddenly find me to be the most interesting thing in the world. The week passed without incident until Friday. I found myself alone with Ino in one of the usually overcrowded elevators in the main building. We were heading up to our dorm and she reached over and touched my shoulder and pulled me close. Her arms wrapped around me in a way that I couldn't forget, even if I tried. I was overwhelmed by her warmth and the warmth that bloomed in my heart, like a spring flower, by the simple gesture. She was hugging me and I was in a goofy daze. We arrived at the 4th floor and the "ding" of the elevator startled me. The doors opened, but Ino made no move to leave. The doors shut. I let my arms come up around her form and I never felt so comfortable in my life. The elevator started downwards and I decided to at least alert her.

"Ino," I mumbled into her blonde locks, gazing apprehensively at the security camera in the top left corner of the elevator.

She didn't reply, but merely pressed her face tighter against my neck.

We stopped on the second floor and the doors opened. Ino jumped away from me, surprised. A single girl stood there… it was Rina. I nodded a hello to her and she stepped in, failing to hide the cute red blush that had shot up her neck to engulf her face.

I glanced towards Ino to see how she reacted to being walked in on. The blonde beauty had managed to back herself tightly against the wall furthest from me. Her cheeks held a slight tinge and her lovely blue eyes were downcast. When we got to floor one, she exited the elevator. Rina gave me a quick glance with her dark brown eyes and exited as well.

The door shut.

I didn't see Ino again before I left for home.

My dad saw my demeanor and left me alone. He knew I was in no mood to talk and that I was bound to explode at the littlest thing. It wasn't until the following morning, when I saw him lying idly on the couch, that I decided to go talk to him.

"Hey," I said, feeling bad about isolating myself last night with my copy of _Wuthering Heights_. (1)

"Hey kiddo," he said before a long pause. "…Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

I blushed, wondering if he'd understand. I couldn't possibly tell him the details… No, they would be too graphic for poor Mr. Haruno, especially since he was my dad. But maybe, just a bit of it…

"It's Ino," I said, blushing even brighter.

He looked at me with his tired green eyes, annoyed. I sighed, knowing beforehand that he wouldn't understand. He never understood my feelings when it came to Ino.

"What about her?" he huffed.

"Well… I kissed her."

My dad just about jumped off of the couch that had a new tear just on the arm. It was sure to widen very quickly, and the stuffing would surely escape.

"Whoa! Really?!" he seemed elated, probably because it wasn't the same old story, but then… His smile faded.

"I guess things didn't go well," he said softly, quickly morphing into his "fatherly comfort" mode.

"No. I mean, I only kissed her because she asked, but she's only curious. It's just of phase, I'm sure. She'll be bored with me soon enough."

"Damn, Sakura, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I said, flinching away from the hug he attempted to give me.

He sighed, obviously a bit put off by my rejection and obviously upset that there was nothing he could do to comfort his hurting child. He really was a great guy.

I spent the rest of the day lounging around with him, silently, for the most part. He avoided looking at me because he knew he would give me that sympathetic fatherly look that I didn't want to see. I appreciated his understanding.

It was nearing nine when he proposed, "Hey, I've invited some friends over for pizza. Do me a favor and go get some beer—I'd like for you to hang around tonight."

"I'm not sure if I'd be any good company, but I would like a beer or two," I muttered as he handed me the money.

"Whatever tweaks your cheeks kiddo."

Making a face at his terrible saying I chuckled, "What kind of father are you?"

"The kind that knows a beer every now and then ain't kill anybody. Especially if there's supervision."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be back in a few," I said before heading upstairs to get dressed to go out.

I exchanged my tank top for an actual t-shirt, let my choppy hair down (despite how wild it looked), and made sure I had my pocket knife conveniently in the top right pocket of my cargo shorts.

The area surrounding my house was a whole different place at night. It was semi-safe during the day, but a crazed cesspool of danger once the sun set. It's a wonder what people who get drunk at night and druggies can do to a place's image. As I walked out of the neighborhood, towards the rundown apartment complex just down the street, I observed a strange kid standing near the crappy pool with a lime green BB gun. The pool was disgusting, murky, and filled with tadpoles. It hadn't been functioning for over a year, I'm sure.

"Fucking frogs," he yelled before shooting a single shot towards the ground.

I regarded him carefully and went on my way. The rest of the journey I was very vigilant. No dark alley or suspicious character was left un-assaulted by my eyes. It proved to be a safe journey to the run down corner store and I managed to get a 12-pack without question. They didn't check ID at the corner store; profit was profit to them, even if it was illegal underage profit.

I headed back home, 12-pack being carried under my left arm, my right hand poised tightly around the switchblade in my pocket. I took the time to admire my surroundings, however glum and grim they were. These rundown edifices, dirty streets strewn with homeless bums and beggars, the lack of nature—_this _was home, however disgusting it was. I belonged here. I didn't feel out of place. Unsafe? Yes. But unwanted? No. Never.

It was then, minutes from home, that I heard a scream.

It took a moment for it to register that a scream meant that someone needed help, because I had been very immersed in my mind's observations of my surroundings. Being the chivalrous girl that I was, I ran towards the noise, as quietly and stealthily as I could. It was the alleyway between the first two apartment buildings in the neighboring apartment complex. What I stumbled upon was frightening—I peaked around the corner to see a man holding a woman against the brick wall. His hand was clasped across her mouth, but it was too late for that--I had already heard her scream.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked harshly, stepping out into the open. The guy looked up at me and the girl glanced at me with wide, terrified eyes. I paid her no mind. I was focusing on the hollow face of the man who I was about to hurt… or the man who was about to hurt me. Whatever the case, I held his gaze.

"The fuck's it to ya?" he spat at me and I rolled my eyes. This guy was going through withdrawal. I could see it in his eyes and his trembling body. He was weak and unfocused.

I said nothing, but pulled out my switchblade and let it flash open. He eyed the weapon, swore, and then let her go to dash past me. As his footsteps faded, I let my body relax. Fuck, I was lucky he didn't try to fight. I turned away from the girl who slumped to the ground, fully prepared to walk away from her until she called out to me.

"Sakura! Wait…"

I paused, wondering who the hell it was calling to me. An old friend? Turning around I gazed at the girl on the ground, suddenly concerned about her welfare. That guy only wanted money, right? Certainly he hadn't…

As I knelt next to her, returning my knife back into my pocket, I found out it was the girl from my hall, Rina. What was she doing here? She didn't live around here.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, watching her tremble. "Did he do anything to you?"

"No… No, I'm fine. Just a bit shaken."

I watched as she ran her fingers through her black hair a couple of times to fix it.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" I hissed, suddenly annoyed with her stupidity.

"I thought I'd come see you… I saw what Ino did and—"

"What does Ino have anything to do with this?!" and cut in, upset. Why would she bring that up?

"I wanted to apologize to you, for interrupting, or ruining your chances… whatever I did to make her run off."

I sighed, wondering about this girl's sense of justice.

"It's not your fault. It's Ino," I said, helping her up. I watched her eye the beer, but I paid her no mind and continued what I was saying, "She's ashamed of me. Don't concern yourself with that."

"Why would you put up with that?" I could only see concern in her big brown eyes.

"What are you doing out here?" I changed the subject.

She didn't answer, but merely blushed. I sighed and pulled her along towards my house. There was no point in having any kind of conversation out here in the dark. It wasn't safe.

I felt comfortable being close to home even if that kid was still out near the pool, shooting at the ground, saying weird things like, "Ribbit ribbit, motherfucker." (2)

As we climbed the cement stairs to my apartment, I wondered how I'd explain this to my dad. His friends would be there; it would be undoubtedly awkward.

I unlocked the door and led Rina into my home, which was noticeably cooler since when I left. The first sight that met my eyes was the three men, who weren't my dad, and the two women in the living room. The next things I noticed were the six boxes of pizza on the center table, though I wasn't very hungry myself.

A cheer filled the room and I had to wonder about this because it wasn't like I was the life of the party. It was when my dad appeared in the entryway to the kitchen that I realized that they were merely cheering for the beer. He took the alcohol from me, only glancing at Rina for a quick moment before he turned his sights back onto his friends. I made my way through the loudly talking adults, sparing quick greetings to a few as Rina stuck close to me. I grabbed a beer and a nearly finished box of pizza and headed into my room. When I shut the door, it was noticeably quieter.

"Who are those people?" she asked as I comfortably reclined on the seat at my desk and she stood awkwardly in the center of the room.

"Friends of my dad," I said, snapping the beer open and taking a slice of semi-warm pizza from the box.

"Your dad?"

"Yeah," I gave her a strange look, admiring how similar her thinking face was to Ino's. It was kind of cute.

"The one I gave the 12-pack to," I helped.

"But he's so young…"

When she said that, she looked as if she were preparing to apologize before she even finished her sentence.

"Yeah. He's young, funnily, I don't think I'd like an old dad all that much," I said, gently swishing around the beer in the can. It wasn't very good, the taste was bitter, if anything, but the way it burned down my throat was comforting. A couple more of these and I could pretend I was happy, just until the morning.

Rina smiled gently and replied, "My dad is plenty old. I think he could be twice your dad's age."

I didn't reply, but merely started on my beer, thinking as she looked around my room. Was Rina planning to stay the night? Where would she go otherwise? But if she stayed, that meant I couldn't get recklessly drunk as I had planned. Damn. Maybe I should just ask her instead of musing to myself, I thought.

"Rina," I said uncomfortably. Her name felt unnatural in my mouth. She stopped looking at my collection of books and let her big brown eyes fall onto me.

Yikes, she was really cute.

"What are… um, what are your plans for the night?" I asked with a stupid blush.

"I don't know," she mumbled. "I kind of just came here on a whim. I told my mom not to worry about me—that I'd be staying with a friend."

"So you need a place to stay for the night?" I asked, hearing the adults erupt in laughter in the other room. No doubt, my dad was telling one of his stories about his work on satellite dishes. I remember him telling me once how he was up on someone's roof, just a couple of minutes from our house, and when he was done with the satellite he realized that someone had stolen his ladder and that he was stuck up on the roof. The fire department had to come and get him down. What a fiasco. (3)

"Yeah… Is that alright with you?" she asked, with her eyes brightening just a bit. Bold.

"Just fine with me."

**

* * *

**

1- I absolutely hate this book. I know it's a "classic" and all, but the whole time I was reading it, I was insanely stressed out by the plot and wanted to smack every single character at one point or another. I practically had to force myself to read it. lol, sorry to those of you who really like this book. At least Sakura likes it, right? :D  
2- So, this is definitely a quote I heard some creeper say when there were frogs out near a pool. I'm actually rather happy he didn't have a BB gun though.  
3- True story. lol, happened to my uncle in the crappy part of DC.

**A/N: So, there are a few things you should know: I've been working on the complete and total reconstruction of my stock chapters for this story. I've made changes in plot (which you won't really know about) and I've also combined chapters to lengthen them (as you can tell with the length of this chapter). This means that I'm not so ahead in chapters and writing new chapters will take longer. Heaven forbid I fall behind; it might take a while for me to get a chapter up. But at this moment, you have nothing to fear. (Unless I miraculously become an owner of Pokemon Soul Silver. Then you really have to worry...)**

**VOTE IN THAT POLL IN MY PROFILE IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE SO ALREADY!!!**

**Also, those of you who have taken the opportunity to chat with me on AIM. I want to thank you. I like hearing from you. So, yeah. X3**

**Anyways, thank you so much for reading; please review!  
-E.E.**


	10. Due for Inspection

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: The elevator was overdue for inspection**

I sat at my desk, facing my room, with a book in my hands. Rina was still asleep. I knew this because I'd taken glances over the top of my book every now and then to make sure. I was kind of worried about her. It was almost noon…

Then again, not everyone sleeps uneasily when there are visitors at the house. That morning, when I woke up, I hadn't been plagued by Ino, for once, and I was allowed this pleasure. I had learned on my own that an idle mind produced dreams. I wasn't used to dreams, of any nature, and so I knew I had to keep myself busy somehow. (1)

I took my empty beer can and headed out to ground zero. I cleaned up the mess that was there, glad to see that my dad had put the remaining pizzas in the fridge. The house was empty and silent. As I was wiping up a spill left from last night, a woman I wasn't familiar with came down the hall. Her raven colored hair was damp and her pale brown, narrow eyes gazed at me intensely, before softening up. She looked kind of sick, and I assumed she was hung over.

"Good morning Sakura," she said with a smile that I determined was forced. I didn't even bother with formalities or politeness.

"Who are you?"

She scowled and glared at me.

"So maybe your dad doesn't talk about me as much as he talks about you, but you'll be seeing a lot more of me Pinky, so get used to it."

I was suddenly annoyed—she had failed to answer my question. I rolled my eyes and left the kitchen a bit pissed. I let myself into my dad's room to find him still in bed. I shook him a little, calling his name. When his eyes opened, I took a seat on the floor. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to sit on his bed (because I was convinced he had been at it with that woman last night).

"Who's the chick?" I asked, watching his tired face blush.

"I should be asking you the same thing," he countered. I blushed an identical blush in return.

"Fair… but _she_ won't be affecting our family like your girl is bound to."

"True, but my girl isn't just a fling… not a one night stand."

Embarrassedly I said, "Which is exactly why the name of your girl is more important than the name of my girl."

He sighed, running a hand through his already tussled blonde hair.

"Her name is Anko," he finally caved before sighing once again. "I should really be more concerned about your sexual habits."

"Is she going to be my step-mom? And don't bother yourself with my sexual habits; I'd have to think you were a pervert of some kind," I said, standing up. "We didn't have sex anyways."

"Maybe," he replied with a thoughtful look (not about being a pervert, I assumed). "She's got an interesting personality, and I want to know if you're compatible…"

"Dad, I'll be going off to college soon. It doesn't really matter if I like her or not."

"Yes it does. You'll always be the most important girl in my life. Your approval is more important to me than anything. Plus, you often see the things that I don't see…"

"Well, you are a bit daft," I joked with a laugh.

He smiled at me and asked, "So who's your girl?"

"Rina… She's a friend from school."

"Just a friend?"

"Yeah, just a friend."

It was then I traveled back to my room, wondering about how the hell I had ended up in bed with Rina last night. I had only had one can. I wasn't anywhere near drunk. My head was on straight. It didn't even make sense how it happened. One moment she was complimenting my room, the next we were bantering, playfully, back and forth with innuendo laced words, and then next we were making out. And the worst thing was, I didn't think she had ever been with anyone the way she had been with me; I don't think she had ever let hands roam where mine had.

I sat back down on my chair and watched her without the distraction of _Wuthering Heights_. How would she take this? Hopefully well, because it takes two to tango, and she was more than willing to dance. All I could think about were her gentle hands and eager whimpers. Just thinking about it made me somewhat uncomfortable. I barely knew this girl… This wasn't me.

She began to stir and I watched the process of her awakening. When her eyes opened enough to catch a glimpse of me, she blushed. I continued to watch her, carefully, wondering what was going to happen next. She looked a bit uncomfortable there, clutching the comforter to herself—I almost laughed at the irony of being uncomfortable beneath a comforter.

"Mornin'," I said, watching the digital clock change to 11:59. It was still technically the morning.

"Good morning," she replied looking a bit out of it. She would start crying in a couple of minutes, maybe, because she suddenly realized she regretted what she had done and more specifically, what she had wanted to do.

"Nobody has to know about this," I mumbled, still watching her for her reaction. What the hell was she doing?

She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes before she released the breath. A dopey smile broke out onto her lips and she flopped backwards in my bed.

What? A smile? What the fuck was going on?

Well, I'll let you know that I _still_ didn't know what was going on when I showed up at school on Monday, holding hands with Rina.

"Yeah, just a friend," my dad had muttered as he dropped us off at school.

"I… umm," I coughed, feeling awkward about the whole thing. I didn't even know how to explain it to my dad. What would I be losing by dating Rina? Perhaps Ino would just leave me be now. I was pretty sure she knew that she was just going through a phase. This could end now and I wouldn't have to hurt so much.

Rina and I walked into the lobby with our backpacks filled with our things and I could feel all the eyes on us and our conjoined hands. I was suddenly feeling very hot and uncomfortable beneath the heat of their stares. I was openly a lesbian, but I had never actually been in the public eye with my relationships. This was new and I didn't enjoy it one bit. If there was anything anyone could even remember about my nature was that I was a hermit and I was very reclusive. Being the main event wasn't my kind of thing—it wouldn't be even if I was straight. I'd leave that to Ino.

And just as I thought of her, Ino walked into the lobby; she had already been at school. Her eyes, just as everyone else's, were transfixed on Rina and me. For the first time ever, I wished Ino just wouldn't look at me. She looked confused and perhaps a little hurt, but I wasn't too sure about that last half because she wasn't standing close enough to me for me to read the hidden emotion on her face and in her eyes.

I pulled Rina along, brooding over the whole idea of Ino being hurt by my newfound relationship. What right did she have to be hurt? She didn't understand what it was like to be used. If I could've, I would have told her right then and there that there was nothing worse than being used in secret. Fuck that. I was tired of being walked all over.

Once we were in the elevator Rina called for my attention.

"Sakura?"

"Hmm?"

"If you don't want to do this, I don't mind…"

"Rina… look, I just want to know if you even like me right now. I don't know how much of this I can handle." The sigh I heaved then was probably one of the heaviest I had ever heaved—I think the elevator even began moving a bit quicker because of the dispelled weight. I absently noted that the elevator certificate said that the elevator was overdue for inspection.

"Of course. I wouldn't have… well…" her blush was insane. I wasn't aware the human face could turn that deep of a red.

It was cute, though, and I was content with her embarrassment. Perhaps that would keep her from wanting any sort of PDA. I wasn't that kind of a partner. Our relationship was between her and I and that meant that it was void of the influence of others. That meant we did what we did out of the public eye, and that didn't mean I was ashamed of it—far from it. I wanted it to last, even if it was random and sudden. I wanted it to last long enough for me to get Ino off of my mind.

That night with Ino was awkward. Yes, she managed to avoid me all day, but that was fine. I had taken my alone time to get to know Rina better and I enjoyed the time we spent with one another. Of course I was thinking about Ino a lot, but what was to be expected? Rina left me to go back to her dorm with a very enjoyable kiss and a comfortable hug. If I had known, I would've come out to the school a lot earlier—this was fantastic. The only thing stopping me from really enjoying this was Ino. I was so worried that I had perhaps hurt her ego once more. She had lost her play thing. Would she take it personally? Probably; this was Ino, and she happened to be a very competitive person.

When she stepped into the room and shut the door behind her I felt very awkward. I looked up from the book I was reading to greet her. There was no reason to make things even more awkward between us.

"So you're dating Rina now?"

She beat me to it—I didn't even get a chance to utter a single letter of my greeting.

"I… um, yeah," I said shrugging, watching as her sky blue eyes darkened just a bit. She sighed gently, a soft puff of breath escaping from between the most kissable lips I had ever seen.

"So… I guess that means that we're done here."

The way she said this… her voice was a bit solemn, and I could tell she was trying to make the sentence into more of a statement than a question. The vocal inflection on the word "here" suggested that, but it seemed like half a question, as if she really wanted me to "answer" it and prove the statement half of it wrong. I certainly didn't want to be "done here" but I certainly didn't want to just be played around with, and so I decided, enough was enough. I couldn't sit around and not tell her my thoughts when they were this important to me.

"Ino, I enjoyed what we were doing and all, but I don't want to use you and maybe you don't want to use me. If you're truly curious about your sexuality, you should find a girl to date for a little while. Making out with me a bunch isn't going to help you figure yourself out, and personally, I don't enjoy being your bedroom plaything."

The look on her face was stony and a little distempered; I had to wonder if she knew that she had suddenly lost all of the color in her face. My heart hurt deeply to know that I had made Ino feel so uncomfortable; there was a numb ache, one that settled in my chest and slowly seeped into my other limbs in a dull pulsing manner.

"If you felt that way, why didn't you say anything?" she asked, swallowing hard. "If I had known… I would've asked you to—"

"Ino, I don't think you get the main problem here. I don't want to be your plaything. I'm done with that, ok? I don't have time for it." (2)

"Sakura, I thought you said you'd help me out."

"Ino, look, just cut the bullshit," I huffed, running a hand through my already messy hair. "You know what you want. _You know_. Don't waste your time, ok? And if you want to waste your time, fine, but don't waste mine in the process."

She looked upset and then I saw tears fill her eyes. She was out of the room in moments and I took several deep breaths to calm myself, but to no avail. I punched my leg in frustration, harder than I should have, and then stood up to go looking for her. When I stepped into the hallway I found that it was empty. What was going on here? Maybe Ino had gone to Temari. She always went to Temari for her problems.

Fuck. I hated this. I just wanted my best friend back—I was willing to rid myself of these feelings if I could just have a healthy platonic relationship with Ino. This hurt too badly. I couldn't take it.

I went back to our room, leaving the door cracked for her when she decided to return. She had left without her room key.

When I woke up in the morning, Ino wasn't there. The only indication of her return was that her key and her laptop were gone, as well as her book bag. I took a shower with a heavy heart and nothing but worry in my mind. Would I even be able to find her at all today to apologize for being so harsh? It'd be difficult because we never got a chance to discuss our final trimester courses. I didn't really know what she was up to for the week.

"Fuck this," I sighed, deciding on going to the library before my first class. I needed to calm down before I was forced to be trapped in a room of kids I didn't really enjoy being around.

As I stepped out into the hallway, I was surprised by Rina.

"Hi Sakura," she said. She smiled and I almost rolled my eyes at her—almost.

"Hey," I said a bit offhandedly before locking my door.

"Where are you headed to?" she asked, following me down the hallway.

"I'm going to the library."

"Oh, for class?"

"No, just to go," I mumbled, holding the door open for her after I went through it.

"Oh, ok. What are your classes?" she asked me and I handed her my folded up schedule.

After a moment of review she sighed and downheartedly said, "We don't have any classes together. I can't believe I've never had a class with you before; you should totally take Intro to Robotics."

"You take Robotics?"

Whoa; that was cool. I always found that stuff a bit hard—programming and whatnot—I was terrible with it. Soldering irons didn't like me, and tiny ass wires I could live without. Stuff like robotics took time, patience, and a whole lot of memory. (3)

"Yes, I'm actual doing an independent study now; I'm working with the Environmental Research class to design an environmentally friendly car."

"That's pretty neat," I replied, actually interested in what she was telling me. "Fuck, could you make me some kickass metal limbs? A Gundam?"

She laughed and I smiled at her. She was constantly reminding me she was a cute girl with every little thing that she did.

"Want to walk me to class?" she asked with her cheeks tinting just a bit.

"Sure," I shrugged.

We walked towards her math class, chatting, and I realized I really enjoyed her company. She was this petite, adorable girl, so I'd get the idea that she was just cute and that was all that there was to her—then she'd just wow me with her profound ideas and opinions. She didn't seem phased at all by my vulgar vernacular and I felt absolutely comfortable with her.

It didn't take long to get to her class and I wondered suddenly, as we arrived, if she had wanted to hold my hand at all during the small journey. Instead of worrying myself with that, I wished her a good day and bid her farewell.

"Bye Sakura; um, maybe we can have lunch together, if you feel like it," she said shyly.

Was this the same girl that spent the night with me?

"Sure," I shrugged once again and I realized that my passive nature might come off as annoyance. "I'd like that," I tacked onto the end with a lopsided smile. I waved goodbye to her, feeling mighty big and important. A few people stared at me as I walked down the hallway, but I paid them no mind. I never paid anyone any mind.

After an hour in the library, I noticed it was time for me to head to my first class at the end of the 3rd floor of the building. I decided to cut through the lab in the back of the library and head up the stairs because it would be easier to get to the class and I'd be able to avoid people in the process.

I opened the door only to find Ino and Temari sitting on the steps, making out.

* * *

1- I know, once you hit REM sleep, you have a number of dreams before waking up. I, however, RARELY remember my dreams. I blame that on my busy schedule, which is where Sakura has gotten her reasoning.  
2- OMG, Sakura, WTF ARE YOU DOING?! Well, aside from postponing your pain? Or are you? It's hard not knowing what Ino _really _wants, huh?  
3- Robotics is soooo cool. I wish they offered it at my school.

**A/N: First I want to apologize to not getting around to responding to reviews. DX I'm kind of in a bit of a hurry atm, but I wanted to update now instead of later (I promised my little brother that I'd spend the evening with him. So we're heading to the movies to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid) lol, yes, those extra hours make a difference. Also, just a heads up, the next few chapters will be a bit slow, but never fear. It'll pick up, I promise. I just get carried away when I'm writing about certain things and find myself suck on a day or two in the span of 2 or more chapters. Let's just say it's a dedication to detail... heh.**

**Anyways, thank you so much for reading; please review,  
E.E.**


	11. Girls and Crying

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Girls and Crying**

I entered class in somewhat of a daze. Why? Well, the pain had suddenly caused my mind to go blank—it was a wonder I even found my way to class.

My heart was hurting so badly.

This was the worst thing since… well, I didn't really know, I couldn't think.

I was hardly aware of Shikamaru entering and taking a seat next to me.

Class started and the teacher passed out papers.

I gazed blankly at them, hurting, hurting, hurting, and hurting.

The agonizingly loud clock—the one that demanded attention every minute—clunked loudly each passing minute. Each still moment hurt my head.

The teacher explained what the course was about and what main topics we'd be covering. He discussed the importance of our syllabus.

I died a little each time the stairwell scene replayed in my mind.

"Sakura," Shikamaru mumbled after the teacher said we were dismissed.

"Hm?" I looked over at him and for the first time in a while his face took on a look of concern.

"Let's go."

He turned away from me and I followed him quietly, out of the classroom and down to the front lobby.

"What happened?" he asked me, struggling to keep the worry from his face.

I huffed a heavy breath and reached forward, hugging him close to me.

I cried.

After a moment, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. I could tell he was a bit uncomfortable, but he was being a good friend and I appreciated that. It didn't take me long to stop crying and I just held him close, comforting myself with his warmth and feel.

"I saw Ino with Temari," I mumbled and he sighed. I could picture him rolling his eyes too.

"This is your fault you know. I don't feel sorry for you at all."

"You're lying."

"What?"

"You feel sorry for me. I'm stupid, I know. This _is_ my fault, but that doesn't mean I'm not justified for doing what I did."

I pulled away from him, slightly annoyed at him for always being right.

"Sakura, just tell her how you feel. Do it now before this all gets too deep. If you break up with Rina now, it'll be better than breaking up with her later," he sighed in a bored manner.

I looked skeptical until he said, "If you can break Temari and Ino up now, it'll be better. What if she develops feelings for her?"

"Don't say things like that," I huffed, tears catching in my eyes again at the thought.

"What is up with you girls and crying?"

"Shut up."

"Look," he said, and the sincerity in his voice frightened me. "I don't want to see you hurt yourself. I really think you should do what I've told you."

"I don't have the guts Shika," I muttered, with an aggravated sigh.

"Bullshit Sakura. You went home and came back with Rina as your girlfriend. I think you have more guts than Snorlax."

I rolled my eyes at his joke—he _would_ make a reference to Pokémon at a time like this. I loved him for that, though. His humor was rare and wry.

"Thanks," I sighed, taking his hand into mine gently. I gave it a squeeze and then dropped it for fear of making him too uncomfortable.

"No problem," he shrugged with a little blush.

When I turned to leave him, I noticed a couple of people staring at us. I blushed, hoping they didn't think that he and I were together, and headed towards the elevators. I could only hope that Ino would be in our dorm. It was then Hinata intercepted my path.

"Sakura, what's this I hear about you dating someone?" she smiled at me and I blushed, definitely not in the mood for chatting.

"I… um… I'm kind of headed somewhere…"

She looked a little put off and pensive and then realization dawned on her.

"Oh... I-if you're looking for Ino, she's not in your room."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I saw her earlier and we compared schedules. She has research class right now," Hinata said, tucking some of her hair behind her ear only knowing it would just slip forward once more.

Research class…? Well that made sense, granted that she was into botany and green geology. Would she be in the class Rina was supposed to work with? Would she be kind to Rina? She had lost her favorite toy to her, and Ino was rather vindictive when it came to losing her possessions.

The thought of me being a possession numbed my heart a bit.

"Hmm, well if that's the case, I'm free for the rest of the day. Did you want to talk?"

"Yes," Hinata's hesitant smile returned again. "Come with me to the music rooms."

In the adjacent building were four soundproof rooms near the main music room. Inside three were pianos and inside the final one was a drum set. We settled for one of the piano rooms and Hinata took a seat on the chair leaving the piano bench open for me. I sat down with my hands folded awkwardly in my lap. I didn't know how to play piano—I knew just one song—in fact, it wasn't even the whole song.

"Sakura…?"

I looked up at Hinata, admiring the color of her eyes once again.

"Yeah?" I mumbled, looking back down at the white and black keys of the instrument.

"What's been going on lately?"

Her question struck me as odd. Lately? It had only been yesterday and today that I had revealed any sort of strangeness in my life to anyone at school. I didn't answer her and continued to look at the keys, positioning my right hand on a chord I knew. I played it once, finding the sound pleasing to my ears. There was something orderly about major chords that intrigued and soothed me; it was so much more different than my dissonant life.

"Won't you tell me what's going on?" she asked.

I looked up at her and saw the hurt expression on her face. She got up and sat down on the tiny bench with me, forcing me to scoot over just a bit. She imitated the chord and played a progression of chords that I wasn't too familiar with. Hinata was an excellent pianist. Whenever we had talent shows at school, she'd play long, flowing, and complicated pieces. It was enthralling and impressive to watch her play.

"What's to tell?" I asked as she struck an E minor chord.

"You've been acting weird, that's all. And then, this thing with Rina that I'm hearing about…"

"I spent all Saturday night making out with Rina. I guess I felt that maybe I could use that as an excuse to date her so I could get Ino off of my mind."

"Wait… get Ino off your mind?"

Hinata's blush was faint, but it was there. It was always there. I realize that I should've perhaps told her what was going on earlier. She knew I liked Ino, but she didn't know that Ino and I had been a somewhat-couple behind closed doors.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this…" I muttered dropping my hand back into my lap.

"Sakura, you need to talk about it… I can see what this is doing to you… I know what… I know what it can do—keeping it in. It's tough."

"Look, Hinata, I know you want to help, but right now, I don't even want to think about any of this, ok? I'm so fucking tired of being used…"

It was then realization dawned on me.

I stood up, suddenly feeling sick.

"I have to go."

I left Hinata sitting there, looking worried and pale, in the soundproof room. I decided on the single place I could go on the school campus without being bothered.

I sat on the swing set by myself, spending my first moments alone swinging furiously in hopes of falling out and landing on my neck. I soon was tired of that and sat there motionless, listening to the wind rustle the brush and the sound of footsteps passing me by. I was such coward.

Whoever had thought of putting a swing set in the middle of a high school was a smart individual. It was a calming place. People rarely knew how calming it was to sit, swing, and think alone. And the joy of being on swings with others around was empowering; it's being an individual in a group of those with similarities. (1)

The swings were creaky and the chains were cold.

I hadn't acknowledged the footsteps that were supposed to alert me of an approaching person, but then warm arms draped over my shoulders and pulled me against a warm body. It was a girl, I could feel her breasts against my back. She kissed me on the jaw and it was then I bothered to turn to see who it was.

Blonde hair draped over my shoulder as I turned and soft lips began to tug at mine.

Ino? What was she doing?

I pushed her away, bitter and annoyed.

"What the fuck is your deal?" I spat, upset beyond reason. I was _just_ getting insanely comfortable there in my solitude and she just had to come out of nowhere and kiss me! I thought I told her "no" before, anyways.

"Shikamaru told me."

"He what?!"

I froze in the swing, my muscles aching all over by their sudden tautness. I heard Ino's sneakers crush the semi-dried mulch until, finally, she stood before me. I suddenly felt sick, worried, exposed. Ino knew, and I knew what it was that she knew. I could've literally thrown up right then at the tumultuous unease that had settled in the very pit of my stomach because of my sudden vulnerability.

I was aware that my mouth was open in surprise and that my face was redder than an old British telephone booth, but I just couldn't shake my hidden happiness. Ino _had_ kissed me.

My mouth suddenly snapped shut and I stood up, seething, "I'm going to kill him."

"Sakura, relax," Ino said with a soothing voice. Her voice was lovely; it was one of the things that attracted me to her. "He said to give you this."

She held her hand out to me and in her palm was a crumbled scrap of paper.

I took it and unfolded it to read, in lazy, sloppy print:

_You're a pussy. I just did you a Snorlax sized favor (you seemed to like that joke earlier; am I over using it?), so do me one and leave my face intact until tomorrow. I'm napping anyways.  
–Nara_

"I hate him," I said, ripping the paper to shreds and throwing them onto the ground. There was a long moment of silence as I stared at the shreds of white paper glowing against the dark brown mulch. I refused to look at Ino, I just couldn't do it. I would start crying if I did, this was far too embarrassing.

"Sakura, why didn't you tell me?"

I looked up with wide eyes, appalled she would even ask me such a stupid question.

"W-what?! And ruin our friendship? I was thinking about it, and I was going to do it, when I told you I was gay, but then Temari was there and I lost my nerve. I couldn't possibly tell you that when she's around… and then, you asked me to kiss you and I… I felt like I'd scare you away. You accepted me as a friend, but there was no guarantee that you would've accepted me as a girl who had a crush on you… Not even a crush, Ino. I honestly love you… so much… and I didn't know how I'd react if anything bad happened to what we already had."

"Well stop worrying… I do accept you, and I now understand why you were so upset about the experimentation thing," she said with a blush.

"Yeah?" I sighed, suddenly tired. I thought about just telling her that we should talk about this later, to avoid having to worry about it at the moment, but then she said with a smile.

"Yeah."

"So where does this leave us?" I asked, unable to hide the hope in my quivering voice.

"Well, we're certainly friends again, but… I think that's all we can be, Sakura."

It was as if someone had shut off all of the lights all of a sudden. It was hard to breathe.

"What? Then why… why did you just kiss me?"

"I don't know," she said, shrugging. "Look, Sakura, I really care about you, but I don't think we'd be good for one another."

The look she was giving me was confusing. I could see the contradiction of her words in her eyes, but I said nothing. I could take rejection. I wasn't going to lose my mind over some girl… not even if it was the girl I had been crushing on for the past couple of years. No. I'd be fine. I'd move on. I can grow up. I can let things go.

I sighed heavily, but said nothing to her. Certainly she could see the tears drenching my eyes. Certainly she could see how hard this was for me, this giving up. I nodded at her, afraid that if I opened my mouth to speak, I'd betray myself with sobs and cries.

She sighed a gentle goodbye to me and I sat limply in the swing. I sat there for two hours, doing nothing; swinging back and forth at various, low velocities.

* * *

1- I love swingsets. If I could, I would sit and swing for hours. Unfortunately, creepers hang out at the park near my house.

**A/N: Aw, it's so sad. Things will look up for Sakura eventually. Strangely enough, I sympathize with Ino during this part (don't hate me! D:) because I've been in situations like hers before. Not really knowing what I want and hurting those I love because of it. It can really tear you up, realizing that you're the antagonist. Reminds me of the time I had to stop watching (500) Days of Summer because it made me feel crappy about decisions I'd made just days before. I feel like I'm always on that end of the situation. What's your opinion of that: is it worse to be the rejector or the one being rejected? Anyways, enough about me being a jerk; I want to thank all of my readers for being so responsive last chapter! I was so motivated to write, I wrote like 3 chapters in a span of 3 days. No kidding. So the next update should be up rather quickly if I don't find myself too busy with school and visiting colleges.**

**Thank you for reading! Please review,  
E.E.**


	12. Just Open It

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Just Open It**

"Wait, you're breaking up with me…? Why? What did I do?"

The tears slipping from her warm brown eyes made me feel even worse than I already did.

"I'm not going to use you Rina, and I'm not going to take advantage of your admiration of me either… I couldn't possibly do that to you… not to anyone. I'm sorry," I said weakly. I couldn't say anymore. I mentally begged that she wouldn't ask me to say anymore. I couldn't do it.

I just wanted to sleep.

"Sakura…," she said, and suddenly I was in her arms and she was comforting me. I broke down into sobs, feeling weaker than I had ever felt before in my life. She led me over to her bed and I sat down with her, feeling pathetic.

My eyes were glued onto the uninterrupted purple of her comforter—it was plain and simple. I touched the soft surface and decided that it was made of cotton.

I just wanted to run away from it all. It was far too late for that, however. Night had descended upon us with vigor and there was no way I would be allowed out. My head was on her shoulder and her hand was running through my hair in a soothing manner. We didn't say much for the rest of the night and I eventually fell asleep to the rhythmic strokes of her hand on my head.

That night I dreamt of different scenarios—different ways my situation with Ino could've unfolded. I could've found her first, before Shikamaru had. I could've shed all of my dignity and pleaded at her feet for her not to turn me away. I could've repeatedly told her I loved her, over and over, following her to wherever she went after she had broken my heart. Regardless of how I thought it up, the ending was still the same.

My sleep was restless.

The sound of a door shutting was what woke me up the following morning. I was in bed with Rina, and my arms were wrapped around her body. I decided it was her roommate who had just left and I realized that I wanted to leave too. I slipped away from her without waking her and I was moments away from the door before her voice met my ears.

"Wait, Sakura," she called out to me. I turned to look at her deep brown eyes, feeling unsettled and troubled.

"I need to go for a run," I said, taking a deep breath.

"Can I come with you?" I furrowed my eyebrows at this request, a bit confused. Why would she still want to be around me after I broke up with her? She needed to leave me alone. I wasn't good company at the moment. I needed to run and then start on my readings for class before heading to my other class.

"I won't slow down for you."

It was a bit harsh, but it was the truth.

She didn't speak for a while, and then she replied with, "Ok. I'll go grab my bike. Meet me right outside of the front lobby?"

"Ok," I said, not bothering with any attempt to dissuade her. If she wanted to hang around, so be it. I wasn't going to force her away. I actually enjoyed her presence. I kind of didn't want to be alone, even though I knew my temperament was fragile in relation to my tolerance of company.

I left her room to allow her to change her clothing and went back to mine to do the same. Ino wasn't there and I was thankful for that. I'd need time to… well, do what I needed to get my emotions in check.

I was pleased to see that Rina was riding her purple bike around to the front as I walked outside.

I didn't say anything as I started off on my run. Rina was biking behind me instead of beside me and I was happy that she was because that allowed me to get lost in my mind as I ran. Had I seen her beside me, I would've been too distracted to do that. I would've been mesmerized by the movement of the muscles in her legs—not a productive thought would've been mulled through. Even with that thought, it took a while to get the shape of her calves out of my mind.

After a while my running tapered off into a jog and then finally I found myself walking for a bit. It was then that she dismounted her bike and pushed it along beside me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked me, hesitantly.

"There's nothing to talk about," I replied immediately. I realized how harsh that seemed and let out a tired sigh. I glanced up at her to see hurt in her deep brown eyes. I looked away swiftly, not having any idea how to interact with her while I was feeling the way I was.

"I have to go to class; I'll talk to you later," I said before turning on heel and heading the opposite direction.

I felt really crappy about the whole ordeal and I could only think about that as my very pregnant history teacher rambled on about something somewhat irrelevant to our lesson (because apparently she was a huge fan of vampires in pop-culture and literature). I needed to apologize to Rina because I realized she was the only one who could actually help me through my problem. I was far too upset to go to Shikamaru, because a little part of me wanted to blame him for what happened because he had "told Ino prematurely", or before I was prepared to confront her. I knew it was my fault, but I couldn't fight my subconscious ideas.

After class, I went straight to Rina's room. She answered my gentle knocking and let me back in; I was surprised by this. She looked rather sad and lonely, and I knew I was the cause of this.

"Hi," I said awkwardly. "Are you busy?"

"Well… I was going to go to the mall with some friends but…"

Was she about to give up an outing with her friends (which was probably intended to get her mind off of me) just to talk with me?

"Oh… um, never mind then."

"No, Sakura, it's alright. The mall can wait."

I blushed, wondering what it was this girl saw in me. I hadn't been too nice to her today… what could she possibly be expecting? Maybe she was expecting my apology?

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry… for how I've been acting and stuff," I refused to meet her eyes and I stared down at her untied shoes. She was wearing black low-top Converse with baby blue laces. She was so trendy, if baffled me. I looked back up into her face and her sad brown eyes met mine bravely.

"It's ok," she said quietly. "I understand why you did what you did."

I looked away again, still feeling strange about the whole thing.

"I guess that was all," I lied. No, that wasn't all. I just wanted someone to talk to, some one to complain and cry to; somewhere to be other than my room. I could barely stand to be around Ino, her very scent drove me to tears, and I couldn't sit around in my room for too long. I became so depressed I—

"Ok… well, I think I'll be going then," she said, kneeling down to tie her shoelaces.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words formed. Why did I have to be so bad at this communication thing? I wanted her to stay. 'Say it, Sakura,' my brave Inner version urged, 'say it!'

"If you want to chill in here, that's fine… just turn off the light whenever you decide to leave," she smiled at me sadly and I looked away in shame, wondering if my desperation was so obvious.

She left and I took a seat on her bed, gazing around her room.

The room was so _her_. There were little figurines and models of planes and other machinery. There was even one of those insanely hard to assemble Gundam models sitting on her dresser. I made a mental note to ask her how long it took to put it together.

The posters of her favorite musical artists didn't surprise me; she seemed to lean towards Asian boy bands. It was so expected I couldn't help but smile. I also found it a bit funny that a few of the guys kind of looked like her because of the way they dressed and styled their hair.

I was a bit jealous of her skill of mimicking fashion trends without even having to bat an eyelash. She dressed well and she was cute. What did she want anything to do with me? I was still trying to mentally go through that question when my eyes spotted, on her dresser, a single white envelope. I picked it up, my emerald eyes having a hard time adjusting to how white the paper was—it seemed to be glowing.

On the front, written in sloppy yet feminine handwriting, was my name.

I took it, looking at the front, very hesitant to open it. I flipped it over and saw, written on the back, "_Just open it_."

Ok… so she left this here for me? I opened it, and found inside a note and what looked like a credit card… No, I pulled it out and it was a $50 gift card to the mall. I set the gift card down, 100% sure I wasn't going to take it. I didn't need her money. I opened up the note a bit harder than I meant and began to read.

_Hi Sakura,_

_You're reading this because I chickened out on inviting you to the mall with my friends and me… I didn't want to overwhelm you, and I didn't want them to ask questions about us now that we're not together anymore. I don't know about you, but that would totally hurt me._

_Anyways, I bought you this gift card that day I saw you and Ino in the elevator... I thought we could go shopping together and maybe I could talk to you about what happened. I just wanted to help, you know? Shopping always makes me feel better. I like new clothes and I'm sure you do too._

_So, I've kind of been waiting for the perfect time to ask you to go out with me. I wanted to buy some clothes with you because you'd look really good in this shirt I saw the other week. Oh, and some skinny jeans. Sexy. ;P _(I smiled at this, imagining her flirtatious wink).

_Please don't see this offer as some sort of pity offer. And I'm NOT trying to guilt trip you into taking me back. I just like being around you, you know? Well, maybe you don't know, but it's true. You're actually really fun, and you're insanely smart, and not to mention incredibly pretty. Honestly, I feel like we should be best friends. So just think about my offer and talk to me about it sometime, I won't bring it up again._

_Love, Rina_

_PS: I hope that "sexy" comment made you smile._

I smiled again at the postscript and shook my head gently. She was such a nice person; it hurt me to think of what I put her through. I took the gift card and the note and gently replaced them into the envelope. I took it and left the room, feeling good enough to go back to my own.

It was empty and I was so thankful for that. Later, I'd call my dad, but at that moment, I just wanted to relax.

There I pulled up my playlist on my computer and let it play. I didn't need to sit in silence, and the lyrics, the words, they filled in all of the empty spaces. I just sat there and thought about things, about class and my day's lessons, about how soon I'd be done with high school, about Rina and her ridiculously good heart and compliments, about Hinata and Naruto's innocent relationship, about my dad and his scruffy beard, about Shika and his good intentions, and about Ino—yes, Ino—of course Ino.

I wondered, honestly, what would become of us. I wondered if I had ruined our friendship. I hated to believe that I had somehow caused this deterioration, but that was all I had left to believe. I should've known better. But I knew I wasn't in control of my emotions. It was so hard for me to _honestly_ like someone, and I fell so hard for Ino, I couldn't help it. She was my closest friend. It was bound to happen.

I couldn't help it.

I felt tears in my eyes again, and I rolled over, burying my face into my pillow.

Damn it, I couldn't help it. I couldn't help that I loved her… but I didn't want to love her anymore.

I knew I wasn't going to get over her anytime soon, not by living so closely with her. The only hope I had was after graduation, when I went back home for the summer. I'd be away from her enough to finally have the chance to let my love fade… I was anxious for that time, yet at the same time apprehensive.

But until then, I'd be stewing in my ill feelings, wanting nothing more than to not be her roommate anymore and wanting to graduate even more than I wanted before.

* * *

**A/N: Ah, I'm sorry! I know some of you wanted Sakura to stay with Rina (BECAUSE SHE'S SO AWESOME AND CUTE, RIGHT?! :D) but I had to stick with the plan. I'm also sorry I took so long to update. I had a very busy weekend.**

**Thank you for reading, please review  
-E.E.**


	13. I Would Burn Forever

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 13: I Would Burn Forever**

"I'm done," I said sheepishly, trying to fight back a blush. I unlocked the door and she stepped in, smiling widely.

"Wow, look at you, hottie," she said with a smile and that little bit of blush I managed to will away came back 20 fold. I watched as her mischievous eyes raked over my form through the perfectly cleaned mirror.

"You think so?" I questioned, still feeling awkward in the clothes. It was a simple style, a green t-shirt and black shorts—yet, I was still a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because my legs were exposed the way they were.

"Oh yeah, definitely," she smiled at me through the mirror and I smiled back at her, confidently, even if my face was still red from embarrassment.

"Ok… I think I'll get it," I said, giving myself a once over in the mirror of the changing room. I agreed with her; I looked pretty good. Green worked well with my eyes.

"Good; I'll see you at the cashier," she winked one brown eye at me and left.

I quickly removed the clothing and shook my tousled hair a bit. Rina had a way of making me feel… well, making me feel really pretty. I took a moment to shamelessly observe my body in the mirror, making note to perhaps buy a new bra next time I went shopping…

There would definitely be a next time with Rina.

I noted I was still rather scrawny, but it wasn't a bad scrawny… And apparently, some girls liked the whole "too focused on work to remember eating" look. Then again, most didn't. I was ok with myself, how I was, I supposed. There was nothing wrong with small breasts…

Sighing, I rolled my eyes at myself and my pathetic mental attempt to boost my self-esteem. I quickly threw on my clothing and slipped my shoes on, not bothering to lace them up.

I was leaving the dressing room when my escort popped up in front of me holding a black hat in her hands. The entryway made the ding sound to alert the sales clerk that someone had entered or left the dressing room.

"I think this will go nice with your outfit. Do you want to get it?" she asked, setting it on top of my head.

The entryway made that sound once again.

"Erm, I don't know… I'm not really a hat person," I muttered, noting the sound again. I thought that we should move; that noise was getting quite annoying.

"Oh, well just take a look?" Rina urged, and it was then I noticed she was acting weird.

"No thanks," I said rather bluntly. "Honestly, I just want to get out of this dressing room."

I had been hearing that dinging sound for far too long and it was grating on my nerves.

Her brown eyes looked a bit frantic and I was officially annoyed with her.

"What's your deal?" I narrowed my eyes at her in suspicion.

_DING!_

Shaking my head, I pushed past her and out into the store.

"Sakura, wait," she said, but by then, it was far too late. There, standing right in front of me, was Ino.

I knew it shouldn't have been such an issue that I was seeing her there, but I had managed to avoid Ino for a full week. I had slept in Rina's room and I hadn't even run into Ino at school once. But the _one_ time I finally decided to go somewhere, there she was, standing there in front of me, just as beautiful as ever.

My heart skipped a few beats.

Her blue eyes were wide and she gave me a hesitant smile. She looked worried, albeit insanely uncomfortable.

I could only blame myself for that. Before I had even bothered to say anything about my feelings, she would've tackled me in a hug and chattered at me with a lovely smile and warm eyes. Now she was guarded, just as I was. Perhaps she was worried she'd hurt my feelings. I wished to tell her there was no more breaking my heart, that it couldn't be broken any more than it was. It was already a fine powder—heart dust, or maybe love residue—whatever she wanted to call it. I outwardly chuckled at the thought and then realized she was still standing there. I must have seemed strange, chuckling to myself.

"Hey," I finally said with my chest hurting as I looked at her. Her pale blonde hair was freely flowing down her back. Those familiar locks of winter wheat…

She smiled at me and spoke, "Hey Sakura. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

Just like old acquaintances bumping into one another on an outing. The lightness of the situation was absent, however. I was still burning inside. I would burn forever.

"Yeah," I said dumbly, averting my eyes from her cloudless summer skies. Suddenly, I was grateful for the hat Rina had put on my head. A simple tilt of my chin downward and I couldn't see her face—which meant she couldn't see my eyes.

I barely registered Rina coming to stand next to me until she spoke to Ino.

"Hi Ino," she said with a gentle smile. I looked over at her to see her rub at the short hair on the nape of her neck.

"Hi Rina," Ino said, turning her attention onto the black haired girl. "I see you coaxed Sakura out of her cave."

Ouch.

Honestly, had she said that a month or two ago, I would've brushed it off as her playful bantering about my social skills (or lack there of). But I _had_ just been all locked up in Rina's room, afraid of even seeing her, because she rejected me. I took that a bit personally, but said nothing. What could I say anyways without starting a conversation I didn't want to start?

I felt myself sink a bit inside and a muscle began to tick in my jaw. I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

It was then Temari decided to show up.

"Ino, babe, you should definitely…" it was when she spotted me that she trailed off. She made a move to hide the lacy black thong she was holding in her hands, but it was too late for that. I had already seen it.

Fuck her.

I was instantly fuming and I felt my body tense. Heat engulfed me, suddenly, and I felt like I was melting into my shoes.

It was then Rina slipped her hand around my wrist. Her cold fingertips coaxed my clenched fist open and she slipped her hand into mine. Both Ino and Temari's gazes were locked onto our intertwined fingers and I too looked down at what Rina had done in surprise.

"We were _just_ checking out," she said with a cute smile, and she pulled me along to the cashier.

I sighed, wishing I didn't have to be so awkward around Ino and wishing that Temari didn't exist. I was suddenly lost in my thoughts and just went through the motions of paying for the items. I ended up getting the hat too—I thought that maybe I could wear it and hide my pathetic tear filled eyes every now and then.

I wanted to talk to Ino, like I used to do. I wanted to spend time with her and make stupid jokes, only in her presence. I wanted to—

"Hey, where'd you get your hair dyed?" the cashier asked, with a friendly smile.

"I um…"

That was so random. (1)

"It's natural," I said, taking the receipt from her.

"Oh," and of course she didn't believe me. "Have a good evening."

Rina spent the rest of the evening trying to cheer me up, but it was useless. I thanked her for what she had done and she only apologized to me and I had to wonder why—it wasn't her fault I was a whiney bitch. I just wanted to mope, that was all I wanted to do. I didn't want to smile or talk; I just wanted to be left alone.

I had suddenly realized I had fallen into a slump so strong that I would never recover.

That's just how it was.

I only talked to Hinata, Rina, and Shikamaru on occasion for my final trimester of high school. I did nothing but study, read, and run. I didn't go out and I didn't socialize. I ignored people as if they didn't exist, and I slowly faded into the background. The girls who had suddenly found me interesting gave up on pursuing me and I found myself alone more than I ever had before in my life. Ino had even abandoned our room, and practically lived with Temari and Karin. Whenever she was in our room, we didn't even speak.

It wasn't like that at first. At first, she attempted to go on as if nothing had happened, but I realized I couldn't. I had hurt myself too badly, and being around her only made me hurt more. No longer was I overcome with tranquility and bubbly floating feelings in her presence; I could only think of her rejecting me, over and over and over. Instead of floating away, I kept crashing back down to earth harder and harder each time. I could only think of her looking me in the eyes after I told her I loved her and telling me 'no' as if it were nothing.

I realized, as much as I hated it, that our friendship had to end. I couldn't possibly smile at her like I used to.

There were no ill feelings; of course there weren't. I loved her, I couldn't hate her, but at the same time, I couldn't stand to be around her. The last day at school I tried to speak to her at graduation to apologize, but fate just wouldn't allow it. Things had seemed to revert back to how they had been before. She had gotten back with Sasuke and so she disappeared right after the ceremony with her parents, and the Uchiha family. I found my three friends and bid them goodbye, knowing I'd see them again since we'd be going to schools that were less than 1 hour in distance apart.

Three days into summer vacation, I wrote Ino a letter, apologizing for my behavior and wishing her the best luck in her studies. I mailed it to her house.

I had only wished I could've said those things to her in person.

Aside from my pathetic social life, things were looking up. I had gotten into the university of my choice and I'd received a full ride to attend. It was one of the best private universities in the nation and I was euphoric to know I'd be continuing my studies there. The school was only about half an hour away from home (the NEW house my dad bought with Anko, because of the now available money from my college fund and her additional wages), so I could see my dad whenever I really felt like it. I could also say that my friends were close to me as well; Hinata was at the public university approximately 30 minutes west of mine (along with Ino, but I would never admit I was keeping tabs on her). Rina and Shikamaru had ended up at the university that was about an hour east of mine—a public university that seemed to be the smallest of the three, but they were both accepted into the engineering program that the school was famous for.

I spent most of the summer lounging around at home, reviewing materials for school and running. I did get to see Rina and Shikamaru every now and then and I was content with that. (Hinata had gone on a trip to Japan to stay with family for the summer). They stayed at my house for a whole week at one point, and Rina forced Shikamaru and me to go out with her at least once every day. Later on in the summer, we took a road trip to the beach and just hung out and forgot about any sort of troubles we were worrying about.

The beach was calming that way and I somehow managed not to get sunburned for the first time ever in my life. (2)

I was particularly drawn to the sound of the gently crashing waves and the feel of sand shifting beneath my feet. Every now and then, I'd be plagued with thoughts of Ino, and I'd wonder about her. How she was doing and if she was happy… whether or not she read my letter. I had tried to call her, but after multiple failures I decided to not pursue contact any longer. Why draw her back into my life when I knew I would only push her away again?

Was I dysfunctional?

No, I wasn't… It was normal, I realized. I didn't bother trying to get Ino off of my mind anymore. When she decided to visit me in my thoughts, I let her, and I enjoyed her as if we were good friends again. Our little meetings were somewhat calming. I didn't go off, looking for girls to distract my mind either—I realized that would only leave me with regrets. When girls came looking and found me and decided they liked what they saw (which was happening a bit more than before thanks to Rina's fashion help) I gave them a chance.

I didn't want to be alone, and I decided I was ready to move on completely. I knew I'd be in college soon, surrounded by so many new people. I'd be moving from a puddle to a lake—there were plenty more fish here.

But damn, I was being picky as hell.

Rina did nothing but laugh at me when I'd recount to her a date that I didn't like for random, stupid reasons.

"Are you serious, Sakura?!" she was wheezing because she was laughing so hard.

"It's not funny," I mumbled, hiding my face in my hands as I noticed the barista give us a funny look.

"Because she ordered a Banana Nut Muffin?!" at this point, Rina was laughing so hard her eyes were watering and her laugh had gone silent. I was slightly worried that she'd somehow choked on something that she wasn't eating… hey, it could happen.

"Rina, seriously, who fucking eats Banana Nut Muffins? Who fucking eats bananas?"

It was then her laughter returned, and slowly died down. She was only laughing airily when I decided to join her, knowing that I had a lame excuse.

"You're ridiculous Sakura," she laughed before shaking her head.

"I know," I smiled watching her wipe tears away from her deep brown eyes.

"And for your information, I eat bananas."

Her brown eyes connect with my eyes and we shared a moment of immature humor before bursting out into laughter again.

* * *

1- Don't you hate when you're in really deep thought/spaced out and something random happens?  
2- I've never been sunburned before. :P

**A/N: Sakura is slowly healing. :) (but it totally sucks she couldn't bring herself to be friends with Ino anymore. that's rather depressing.)**

**Thank you for reading. Please review!  
-E.E.**


	14. I Just Want to Talk

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: I Just Want to Talk**

College was just as I expected it to be and I was actually enjoying myself. I met a lot of new people and I didn't feel so trapped like I had felt before. I had wide-open spaces to spread my wings in and I loved the freedom. My roommate was pretty cool, albeit a bit wild, and my classes seemed to be going well despite their difficulty.

Every now and then, as I had begun during the summer, I went out with girls I met, casually of course. There were a few girls that I legitimately thought I could get to know better to see if I could maybe date one… there were a few girls I went out with just to get out of my dorm.

Whatever the case, I left each date feeling a bit unsure of myself and of what I wanted… I was incredibly picky because I was not anxious to get myself hurt again. It had nothing to do with finding a girl that reminded me of Ino… in fact, I tried to avoid girls who were anything like her.

One afternoon, I called Hinata up to see if she'd want to come hang out with me for a little while. I hadn't seen her all summer and it was well into the school year. I honestly missed her.

"Oh, Sakura, I'd been meaning to call you," she said and I smiled.

We went through general formalities and I asked her about her summer vacation and her trip to Japan. We soon got onto the topic of relationships and I explained my tentative dating and she mentioned how she missed seeing Naruto in person.

"I was wondering what your visitor policy was," she asked me.

"Well, I don't know really, but I have no problem with you staying in my dorm for a night if you want to come hang out with me and see Naruto."

Naruto had also gotten into the school I was attending. He was so hardworking and I was happy he had been accepted. There were very few people from my high school that had come here. It was just Naruto, Neiji (who was Hinata's cousin), Sasuke, and myself that I knew of. I managed to never see any of the boys while I had been here for the past two months.

"Really?" she seemed ecstatic and we worked through our schedules to see what the best time for her to come over would be. We decided on Friday and I bid her farewell, remembering I had a couple of chapters to read in my History book before going to bed that night.

That Friday, Hinata arrived at my dorm and I welcomed her in with a tight hug.

"I missed you so much," I smiled at her as she pulled away. It was then I was noticing her giving me a strange look.

"What?" I asked, feeling a bit unnerved by her.

"You seem different," she said and I cocked an eyebrow upwards at that comment.

"Different? How?" I asked, taking her bag from her and setting it in the corner of my half of the room. I had spent the majority of last night cleaning up for her. My roommate was kind of crazy at times, and I'd found a number of things around the room that just belonged in the garbage—there was no other place those things could exist without offending someone.

Honestly, she was insane. Her name was Karin (not to be confused with the Karin from my high school) and she was from a big city. She was constantly eating things that shouldn't be eaten, just for fun (she ate a dime once in my presence and then laughed hysterically about it for about 5 minutes straight) and making prank phone calls. She also dyed her hair red for no apparent reason a week after we moved in (perhaps to test her newfound freedom); it looked good on her though.

At times she got out of hand with her shenanigans and annoyed me, but for the most part, I enjoyed her company. She introduced me to a lot of people too and happened to ALWAYS be at outings I decided to attend; so no matter where I went, I knew I'd have a friend. We also worked on homework together for the classes we had that were the same; she was incredibly smart.

What I liked most about her was how liberal she was and how open she was to different beliefs and opinions. She had no problem with me being gay.

"Yeah, different," she said, but then she smiled. "It's not a bad different, it's a good different. But I can't explain it."

"Cool," I said shrugging nonchalantly. We sat on my bed for a while, just chatting about our summers in depth and about classes and school. I was happy to learn that she was enjoying her school and how things had been doing for her.

I was just about to suggest we go out and get dinner when Karin comes through the door looking a bit disoriented. No doubt she probably slept all day in her boyfriend's dorm.

"Hey Saku," she said apparently not even noticing Hinata.

"Hey Karin," I said, observing her and she flopped down onto her bed.

"I'm soooo hungry. Let's get dinner?" she asked and I regarded her closely, about to answer when she shot up into a sitting position.

"Oh hellooo~" she said enthusiastically with her eyes on Hinata. "Sakura, who's this pretty lady?! You never introduce me to your lady friends."

I blushed hoping that Hinata wasn't getting the wrong impression of me.

"Karin, this is Hinata; a friend of mine from highschool. _She's Naruto's girlfriend_. Hinata, this is Karin."

Karin was up and over to greet Hinata in record time, her lethargy gone.

"Nice to meet you," she smiled and offered Hinata her hand. "Who would've thought that Naruto had such a pretty girlfriend?"

"Erm.." Hinata looked a bit uncomfortable (which was probably because of Karin's red contacts) so I quickly intervened.

"Karin, Hinata and I were just about to go get dinner."

"Oh, sweet. Can I come? It'll only take a moment for me to shower."

"Sure," I shrugged. "While you're doing that, we can go hunt down the illusive Uzumaki."

I herded Hinata out of my dorm and down the hallway. Naruto stayed two floors above us she informed me. I still couldn't believe I hadn't run into him at all.

Their reunion was sweet, and I felt a bit awkward watching it, so turned to glance around Naruto's room. It was insanely messy and I had to wonder if Karin was a female version of Naruto.

"Hina, babe, it's good to see you again," he whispered, gently kissing her.

When they finally stopped embracing she smiled and said, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he said with a goofy smile. His blue eyes were sparkling and I was very happy for him—for them both really. They were so good for each other, and they were both so in love. I could tell.

"Erm, hi Sakura. Thanks for letting Hinata stay in your room. My roommate's cousin is staying the weekend and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable."

The two of them wore matching blushes and I smiled at their discomfort of being intimate in public.

Dinner that night was enjoyable. Karin felt it was her job to tell Hinata about all of the strange situations I had found myself in over the course of the month. The outing was enjoyable until it was time for us to leave. As we were leaving the restaurant, I felt a hand grab my wrist and someone call my name.

I turned to see a person I thought I'd never see again. My mouth fell open a little and my heart stopped briefly in surprise. Her deep blue eyes looked hesitant and she gave me an expectant look.

"Hi Sakura… I thought that was you," she smiled a little, and I stayed silent, not knowing what to do. I vaguely noticed Hinata, Karin, and Naruto stopping their retreat to see what was holding me up. It was then I gently pulled my hand away.

"What? Really?" Naruto stepped forwards, looking upset. I rarely ever saw Naruto upset, so I was surprised. Why was he upset?

"I can't believe you!" he barked with his eyes blazing.

She looked surprised, and I was probably mirroring her expression. She put her hands up in a gesture of harmlessness.

"Chill Uzumaki. I just want to talk to her," she tried, giving him a strange look.

"After everything you put her through?!"

"Wait, what? Naruto… what are you talking about?"

I never told him about…

"Hinata! You didn't tell him about that did you?!" I quickly pivoted around to look at her.

"Sakura, no… I-I…. I just… Just about last year… What was going on at the end of s-school…"

I heaved a heavy sigh and shook my head suddenly stressed out. Who would've imagined just seeing her would stress me out.

"Sakura, I just want to talk," she pleaded and I regarded her with a guarded expression.

I looked at her—really looked at her. What could she possibly want after everything? After hurting me the way she did?

"I just want to talk," she repeated.

"Ok," I said with a shrug. What could she do to hurt me now? She had nothing over me any longer; she had no power, no advantage in this situation. We were equals now.

"Thank you," she smiled at me, but I didn't return the smile.

"Karin, you and Naruto keep Hinata company for a little while. I'll be right after you."

Karin gave me this look, and then gave her a look, and then looked back to me, somewhat confused. I'd never told her about my high school years—nothing about my past. She knew nothing about me other than what she learned during our two months as roommates. She'd met my dad, but that was all. She never bothered asking about my mother; not even about old friends.

"I'll be fine," I said to her.

"Ok," she said, still looking worried. She reluctantly led the other two away.

We were alone. It was just me and her—Temari.

"Is she your girlfriend?" she asked, following me as I started away the opposite direction of where my friends had left. I hope she wasn't talking about Karin. That was a stupid question.

"What are you doing here? What do you want with me?" I asked her, fighting back the strong pulls of anger trying to resurface.

"I was just in the area, and I kept having this nagging feeling about apologizing to you for everything that happened… And then there you were. I _had_ to say something."

"Temari… do you even understand? Do you understand what I went through?" I stopped and turned to look at her, my heart beginning to ache like it used to do when I was around my blonde roommate after her rejecting me. I suddenly felt nauseous.

Temari bit her lip, looking a bit unsure. She sighed heavily, and brushed some of her sandy blonde hair out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said and I rolled my eyes at her before turning to start off again. There were tears in my eyes. I didn't need this.

"Honestly Sakura!" she shouted. "I'm so fucking sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you like that…"

I stopped and took a deep, shaky breath. She couldn't possibly be saying that. No way. She knew what she was doing! She knew what she had done, and while she was doing it, she was content to know that she was fucking with my mind and my heart.

"Temari, shut the hell up! You 'didn't mean to hurt me'?! Bullshit." Turning to look at her, she gave me a short chuckle.

"You're so cute when you're mad."

That wasn't going to work on me this time. I wanted to punch her, but she wasn't going to get that satisfaction. I flipped her off, middle finger erect, and the started off again.

"Sakura, really; I only kissed Ino because she asked me. I wasn't actively pursuing her. I mean, I didn't want you two together, but I certainly didn't want to be with her, especially not to cause you pain. I was jealous, ok? I still had feelings for you and I was jealous."

I paused again, my skin cold in the cool air of the night, which contrasted greatly from my elevated internal body temperature due to my fluctuating anger. I felt a bit dizzy. She couldn't possibly be telling the truth… had she really gone out with Ino to keep her away from me? It didn't make sense. None of it made sense.

I looked down to see cracks in the pavement, briefly wondering when they formed and how long it had taken to become the intricate design of diverging crevices.

"I was being selfish," she continued, and the sincerity in her voice scared me.

"Do you know how depressed I was, Temari?" I turned to look at her, allowing her to see the tears generously gathering in my eyes. "Even now I can't… I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. I don't think you understand how much I… loved her."

My voice was shaking and quivering—each tremor was a reverberation of my painful memories. Each pulse was a wave of pain.

"I don't think you understand how much I loved you," she mirrored gently.

Her blue eyes met mine, and for the first time ever, I saw what I should've seen the previous year.

Why was Temari so complicated?

I felt a tear slip down my cheek and she gave me a wry smile.

"Are you willing to talk to me now…?"

* * *

**A/N: I feel like I haven't updated in a long time. I also haven't been able to write in the longest time! D: Ugh, it's the worst. Writer's block stinks. ****Anyways, whoa Temari! Can you believe that? More is to be revealed in the following chapters. Also, I'm sorry about not replying to reviews; so much has been going on.**

**Thank you for reading. I hope to update soon, so please review.  
-E.E.**

**PS: I just want to congratulate my Blue Devils for winning the NCAA Basketball Championship. ;P**


	15. Curious Creatures

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Curious Creatures**

"You've got to be kidding me," she breathed, giving me an incredulous look.

"That's what she said," I replied. (1)

"And you believed her, after everything she did to you… I mean, that I believe, granted that you are a bit gullible, but I honestly don't believe you didn't punch her, or smack her in the face or something along the lines of beating her into a bloody pulp and leaving her mangled body on the side of the road."

I chortled at her response, forgetting to be upset about her calling me "gullible".

"Yeah, I believed her… Rina, she was giving me this look… I could just tell she was telling the truth."

"Whatever you say, Sakura," she slowly released a deep breath and shrugged.

With that, I concluded she was acting weird.

Her brown eyes were tired and she looked a bit worn out. Maybe school was stressing her out. For the whole past two hours we'd been together, she looked as if she was hesitating to tell me something.

"Well, what did you guys talk about?"

"High school and Ino."

Rina looked impatient, and I was really aching to ask her what was wrong, but I didn't know how to approach the problem.

"Well, what did you find out?"

"I… um… Rina, are you ok?"

She looked a bit startled and averted her eyes briefly before looking back at me. Her deep brown eyes were revealing her obvious deliberation over whether or not to tell me the truth.

"Honestly," she began and then paused. "I'd rather not talk about it. But thank you for asking."

She smiled at me slightly, and it was a genuine smile. I smiled back, with a hint of worry on my face.

"I won't bother you about it then."

"Alright, well you finish up what you were saying then."

"Oh, yeah… well, she was only dating Ino to keep her away from me because she still liked me—she thought this was the only way to keep us apart. But then she found out that Ino wasn't serious when it came to dating girls and they stopped dating. Ino went back to Sasuke soon after that and they didn't really keep in touch very well. She said she talked to Ino once or twice a month, or something like that."

"Yeah? Well, that makes sense. I see Temari moping around campus every once in a while," Rina said thoughtfully. "She's kind of a loner, well, as far as I know. Shikamaru said he saw her at party the other week."

"Shika at a party?" I laughed. "Wow, that's so fail. He doesn't even have to be slipped the date rape drug to fall asleep."

Rina laughed at my hit at his laziness and smiled at me.

"His friends draw things on his face whenever he falls asleep at them. Sometimes they do worse. I showed up at a party he invited me to and there was a condom hanging out of his mouth—he was asleep of course."

At this I burst out laughing, not having the heart to even inquire about whether or not the condom was used. I was expecting the worst—guys were so gross at times.

When my laughter quieted down, I thought a bit about what Temari and I spent our time talking about. She really didn't have that much information on Ino and I was still as curious as before. She said she was still dating Sasuke off and on and that she was in good spirits, still being adored by every guy she met. Still as desirable as ever.

"So that's all? No intentions of trying to win your heart again?"

"That's all… I don't think she was thinking about that."

She told me that she still liked me of course, and that she'd always like me, but that she knew that I'd never really love her. She said she knew that it would be impossible to convince me to date her again, and that if we did date one another, we'd fall apart very easily. She said she honestly wanted me to be happy and that she hoped that one day I'd find happiness with someone.

"Lame," Rina scoffed with a laugh. "You're so hot. She wants you and you know it."

I laughed at this, insanely happy that Rina and I were still friends.

"She did compliment me. She said something along the lines of me looking really sexy and confident."

"You've changed a bunch since she last saw you Sakura. You're insanely confident now. And honestly, confidence looks good on you."

I blushed, not prepared for that compliment at all. Rina was constantly complimenting me on my looks, but a compliment on how I appeared, personality wise, was something new.

"Thanks," I said with a smile. Feeling like I had to repay her for her compliment, I complimented her back, and she was very deserving of any compliment I gave her.

"I have you to thank for that, you know," I said, smiling at her gently. "You're one of the most confident girls I know, but you have good reason to be because you're insanely cute, smart, and funny. Speaking of which, I really like your haircut. I can't believe I didn't say anything about it earlier."

It was a cute cut; a jaw length bob in which she had put a white flower clip on the left side to keep her hair out of her eyes. The flower contrasted perfectly with her thick black hair. The rest of her bangs fell stylishly to the right, across her forehead.

"Oh, thanks Sakura," she said, with a cute blush dusting over her cheeks. "Though, I got my hair cut two weeks ago."

She winked at me, knowing I hadn't seen her in weeks.

Whoever she ended up dating would be one lucky person. I was curious, about her romantic life, but I'd always found it awkward to ask about ever since our relationship in high school that ending just as sporadically as it had started. She had honestly been hurt by it, but that was long ago, right? Certainly _she_ wouldn't feel awkward about it. I only felt awkward because I was weird, right?

"Rina, I'm kind of curious."

"Huh?"

"I know we don't talk about your love life much… and that's probably because we're always trying to pick through mine, but…"

"Nothing," she said with a shrug and an annoyed shake of the head. "There's nothing going on with me."

"Yeah? Why not?"

"I don't think I can juggle a relationship with school at the moment. Double majoring is a bit busying—especially when one of your majors is mechanical engineering."

"Oh," I regarded her closely, looking for lies. "You sure?"

"I tried, earlier in the year. With a cute guy who looked like Jaebum from 2PM." (2)

I smiled at her and her obsession with Korean boy-bands.

"You would date a guy just because he looked like your favorite boy band member."

"Jaebum is not a member anymore. Plus, this guy was a nice guy, so it wasn't just for his looks."

"Well then, why'd you end it?" I asked. I also wanted to ask why she hadn't told me about this earlier, but I decided against it. She had a right to keep things from me, I supposed.

"I don't know… I just couldn't get into it really."

She really looked like she didn't want to talk about it, and I had to wonder if that was all. Had he hurt her in any way? I decided on leaving the topic alone for fear of making her uncomfortable.

"I know how you feel," I mumbled, thinking about all of the dates that I'd had over the past—

Wait, _I knew how she felt_? The only reason I felt like that was because of Ino. Which meant, she was feeling the same way because of… me? No, that couldn't be right, but that was the only option. I mean, I was at least still finding time to test the waters even though I was doing a ginormous amount of work.

I lifted my eyes to meet hers and she blushed and looked away, realizing that she had let that slip.

"Oh crap," she mumbled squeezing her eyes shut very briefly.

"Look, Sakura, don't worry about it, ok? It's cool. I'm alright," she started babbling.

"God, no! It's not alright. I'm such a shitty friend! How did I not even notice? How selfish could I be?!"

I felt flustered and my throat closed up on me in my frustration. It was hard to swallow; I was so mad at myself. I heaved a frustrated sigh and looked away from her.

"Please, Sakura, just forget about it," she mumbled, touching my hand.

I looked up at her, worried. I should've known. I was so self-absorbed, it was disgusting.

"I made up my mind, long ago, to let you go. I want our friendship more than anything. So yeah, I have romantic thoughts about you every now and then, but those will stop eventually… so, just don't worry about it."

She smiled at me. It was such a fake smile, and I knew this, but to anyone else, it would look legitimate.

"Please Sakura," she begged me and I returned her smile, reluctantly.

"If you say so," I mumbled, looking away. I felt her hand tighten around mine and I laced my fingers with hers. I held her hand a lot—I always thought that's what friends did every now and then… I never thought it could possibly be her way of satisfying her desire of me.

When I glanced back at her, she was looking out across the park. The bench we occupied seemed to be miles away from her conscious. There was a slight and solemn smile on her full pink lips.

It was Sunday night, and my dad was helping with driving Rina back to school because I didn't have a car (due to the fact that freshmen weren't allowed to have cars on campus); I was sitting in the back seat with her. He noted the tension between us and decided to keep quiet for the most part. He usually bantered with us both, playfully. He was looking so much healthier and so much handsomer. I was happy for his happiness with Anko. I was also happy about Anko—she was cool. We didn't do much together, but she had a knack for pointing out strange things she saw whenever my dad had asked her to pick me up.

She was encouraging, in a very comfortable, youthful way. Not to mention incredibly hot. I never told my dad that though, for fear of awkwardness.

Before I knew it, we'd arrived outside of Rina's dorm and she was getting out of the car, with a farewell.

I hopped out, asking my dad to wait for a little while before walking with her to the door of the dorm area. The campus was kind of cramped and I felt it was a bit unsafe because of how cluttered and urban it seemed, but Rina had to tell me countless times that she was safe and not to worry.

Once we got to the door, I told her to call me later.

"You know, you could make an effort to call me more too," she laughed, her cute smile peaking through.

"Well, you know how it gets," I ran my hand through my hair with a gentle blush. I was terrible at keeping up with people, but I _had_ been making an effort.

She giggled at me, "I'll call you Thursday, ok?"

Someone walked by, eyeing is briefly before using an access pass to get into the building.

"Ok," I said before pulling her into a hug. She sighed contently and pulled away.

I wanted to kiss her, but I decided against it. There was no point in me causing her any more heartache for my own selfish desires. It was then I realized I was aching for a physical relationship with someone. I wanted someone to hold and for someone to hold me. I wanted someone to kiss while enjoying our embraces.

"Goodnight Rina," I said before quickly turning away and running off. It was getting cold. I needed to buy a proper winter coat before winter really settled in. I got into the car quickly, sitting up front with my dad this time around. He started off.

"Hey, Sakura," he started, looking a bit confused. "Are you and Rina dating again?"

"No dad," I sighed, before crossing my arms and shifting in my seat to look out of the window.

"Hey, no need to get hostile," he said light heartedly. "I'm just curious."

Yeah dad, aren't we all just curious creatures?

* * *

1- I really wasn't trying to make a "that's what she said joke". Honestly. lol  
2- I love love love 2PM. :D haha, yessss, k-pop~

**A/N: So, here's an update. I apologize there isn't a lot of detail in this chapter about Sakura's meeting with Temari, but this is just to reflect how insignificant Sakura felt the run-in was when paralleled to the rest of her life. Small bits of the conversation will be revealed in the next few chapters. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed. Sorry to those of you whose reviews didn't get replied to. x_x I will work harder to get to them all before updating.**

**Thank you for reading, please review.  
-E.E.**


	16. The Friend I Once Had

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.**

* * *

**Chapter 16: The Friend I Once Had**

I pressed my lips against hers, gently coaxing her lips apart. She seemed surprised and paralyzed for a moment before she kissed me back, drawing me further and further in. Her hands buried themselves into my choppy pink hair. It had been growing back rather wildly, and was now at shoulder length, still as uneven as ever. I wanted to get it cut; I just never had the time. (1)

"Sakura," she purred, gently grazing my lower lip with her teeth.

She tasted sweet, like sugar and cupcakes. I assumed it was her lip gloss—it was probably flavored.

I continued to kiss her, as she seemed to be gasping for air. My right hand traveled down the length of her side, past her hip and onto the smooth skin of her leg. The length of her skirt only aided the prize I was receiving and I slowly slipped my hand back upwards, feeling the skirt catch on my hand and bunch up.

Her skin was on fire.

"Your hands are so cold," she complained before kissing me on the jaw.

"Well, why don't you warm them up for me?" I asked, kissing her briefly on the lips.

She smiled at me, brown eyes twinkling in mischief.

"I can do that," she replied flirtatiously.

I laughed at her, before wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her close. She seemed startled by the hug, if not even a little put off, but wrapped her arms around me nonetheless.

We were lying in my bed and Karin was out and about. It was nearing nine at night.

She kissed my gently on the cheek and I reveled in the feel of her lips against my skin. I stroked her arm gently with the back of my hand with my mind drifting away from where I was at the moment. I was content—this was nice.

My cell phone rang. I looked at my digital clock before cursing a little. Rina had definitely said she'd call at this time.

"Fuck," I mumbled, sitting up. I really did have to talk to her, or at least ask her to call back.

"Hold on," I huffed, looking about for my discarded jeans. As I bent over to pick them up, Rin smacked my butt, commenting on how she wasn't surprised I preferred boy shorts to other types of underwear. (2)

I found my phone in the pocket of my jeans and quickly answered it, knowing that once the ringtone got to the chorus, it would ask the caller to leave a message. I had let Rina choose her ringtone Of course she chose a song by a Korean pop group, but it wasn't one of her boy bands; it was an all girls group she called SNSD. I didn't bother with actually listening to any of their music because the song she set as her ringtone always managed to embed itself into my mind for at least 3 hours after I heard it. I didn't like songs that got stuck in my head. (3)

"Hey," I said perkily while hearing Rin roll over in my bed. She ran her hand through her dark brown hair and looked at me a bit impatiently.

"_Hi Sakura,"_ Rina said on the other side. I could hear the smile in her voice. _"I promised you I would call tonight."_

"Yeah, that you did," I said, trying to think of a way to end the call quicker. "How have you been?"

"_Alright… My work load slowed down a bit this week, so I'm averaging about five hours of sleep opposed to the four I was earlier. I felt really good today because of the extra sleep."_

"Ha, what a nerd, but I know what you mean," I laughed with a smile. I usually averaged around four if I was lucky.

"_Yeah, so what about you?"_

"I'm doing ok too… I was kind of doing something at the moment though—"

"Don't you mean, _someone_," Rin commented flirtatiously and I wondered if Rina could hear her. I felt that would be awkward. I blushed deeply and Rin giggled at the sight of me looking so uncomfortable.

"Can I call you back later? Or maybe sometime tomorrow?"

"_I… um, yeah. That's fine."_

"Are you sure, because—"

"_Look, I get it. You're with a girl. Just call me tomorrow."_

I felt bad. I was realizing it wasn't taking too much for that to happen to me.

"Alright, I'll call tomorrow afternoon, at four maybe?'

"_Ok."_

"I love you."

"…_I love you too."_

"Bye."

"_Bye Sakura."_

She hung up and I set my phone down on my desk a bit concerned about Rina. Putting that out of my mind as effectively as I could, I returned to Rin and my bed.

The following day, I called Rina as promised and she seemed to have no recollection of my previous rudeness to her. We chatted and talked about plans we had for hanging out with one another that we both knew we'd never have time for. It wasn't until well into our conversation that she asked me about Rin.

_"So, last night, who was the girl?"_

"You don't know her… Her name is Rin."

_"Where did you meet her? And when did you meet her?" _she asked and I wondered if she was thinking I was going to say something ridiculous like we met on the subway and I just knew I had to bring her home that night. Or perhaps that we met at a party and she demanded that we went back to my place. Which I suppose would be reasonable since I hadn't ever mentioned Rin to her.

I walked over to my window and gazed out looking at the crowd of people thinning out. Evening classes were about to begin and the first wave had just filtered through the courtyard in front of my dorm building.

"I met her in class. She's another pre-med student in my biology class, so I've known her for a little while. I think I first noticed her the first or second week. It's hard to tell with such large classes."

_"You first noticed her…? What, are you suddenly love-struck or something?"_

"No, I'm just saying when I noticed she was in my class; when we first started talking."

_"So why haven't you mentioned her? Are you two even dating? Had you gone out with her before?"_

"I don't know… I've been busy. Relationships haven't really been on my mind that often. We're not dating… I mean, we've been out a couple of times, but those have been study dates to Starbucks and the library."

_"So you are dating her?"_

"What? No. She's just—"

_"So you have sex with girls you're not dating?"_

"Rina, chill. What's with the interrogation?"

_"I don't know. I just feel like I should know these things, you know? I assumed we were friends—best friends even."_

She seemed impatient and distempered, but I thought it was a bit unfair that she was demanding me to tell her things like this when she hadn't even told me about that guy she was dating. Whatever, she'd get over it, but to avoid saying something I knew I'd regret later, I just hung up the phone.

If she wanted to talk, we'd talk later. Until then, I was giving her her space. She needed it.

I knew why she was somewhat upset with me. It was because I turned to another girl instead of her. It was because I didn't feel the same way she felt about me. I knew she'd do anything for me, and that included providing me with that physicality I so desperately desired. But there was more to a relationship with Rina than physical satisfaction. Her amorous feelings and love were things I didn't want to dabble in. I'd been used and played with before. I couldn't possibly do that to her again, in a worse fashion no less. No, I'd take the lesser of the two evils. Rina would later realize that I had made the best decision.

I changed into my some clothing suitable for running in cold weather, knowing that December had settled upon us ruthlessly. It was supposed to snow that night. The cold air was going to kill my lungs, but I needed it. I needed to run.

It was a quick but strenuous run, because I couldn't stand how quickly the setting sun was making the atmosphere so cold and sharp. I was in my dorm building and in the showers as quickly as possible.

I had just gotten back into my dorm and was dressing for dinner with Karin when a hesitant knocking sounded in my ears. Stopping my search for my hairdryer (which I was convinced was somewhere in the wreckage I called Karin's Half of the Room) I went to answer the door.

"Who is it?" I called out, not up for having someone playing annoying pranks like spraying me with silly string again. I knew that Karin hadn't forgotten her keys, and if she had, she would've called me. The person at the door was a stranger.

"Ino," a muffled voice replied.

Really?

I opened the door, not really expecting Ino. Perhaps it was Rina playing a cruel joke on me.

Nope.

It was her.

"Hi," she smiled at me and I merely stared at her, not believing it at all. She looked so different! She'd gotten a bit taller, and she'd cut her hair to a medium length. She looked slightly older too; perhaps it was the haircut. Whatever it was, she looked absolutely dashing of course.

"Hey," I stammered, not noticing as I was making my observations of her, she was doing the same. I was still struggling to get over the fact that she was standing there in my doorway at that moment.

"I thought I'd come find you and see how you were doing. I'd been debating it for a long while, but then Temari said she ran into you and I made up my mind. You look fantastic," she breathed lightly.

"Thanks," I blushed, rather self-conscious of myself after her saying that. I stepped aside to let her in and apologized for Karin's mess. "My roommate has a hard time keeping things clean in here."

"Mine too! I miss having you as my roommate, because you were so orderly and I never had to worry about living in a land fill," she said and a brief memory of high school tried to break through into my mind, but I shut it away before it had the chance to fully emerge. I stifled it before it could scream out to me in the most unpleasant of ways.

It was silent and I tore my eyes away from her baby blues reluctantly.

"I like your haircut."

Damn, was that all I could say anymore?

"Thank you; I actually didn't want it this short, but I had to get it done because of a botched day at the salon. I kind of like it this way now, though. I see you've been growing your hair out."

"Not intentionally. I just haven't gotten a chance to get it cut yet," I said with slight embarrassment. No doubt my damp, messy pink locks made me look unkempt; yet, it worked well with my newfound image.

Silence fell upon us and I was just a tad bit uncomfortable.

"I tried to call… During the summer," I decided to tell her for no particular reason… maybe to get us started on what we needed to talk about. Maybe it was to get some answers, like why she didn't return my calls. I called a lot and when I'd finally given up on it… Well, it was embarrassing. I'll just leave it at that.

"I accidentally dropped my phone off of my bedroom balcony at home and had to get a new phone. I got a new phone number and I lost all of my contacts… I'm sorry about that. I did get your letter, and I tried to reply, but it got returned because you… moved?"

"Ah, yeah; my dad bought a new house with Anko."

"Anko?"

"My step-mom-to-be," I smiled with a blush. "They're getting married next April."

"Oh wow; that's big news Sakura," she smiled her perfect smile and my heart ached a little, but I was over Ino. I was finally moving on (somewhat… if you could call Rin my girlfriend).

"Do you like her?"

"Yes, she's awesome. She's really down to earth, in a badass kind of way."

"That's great."

I was silent again, and I sat on my bed, still untouched from when I made it that morning. Ino opted to sit at my desk, turning the chair so she'd be at a better angle to talk to me.

Her legs filled out her jeans so well.

Damn it, I mentally cursed, trying my best not to begin to admire her again.

"I know this is well overdue," I said, after another moment's silence, "but I'm really sorry about how I acted. That was childish of me. And it should've been me who went looking for you."

I refused to meet her eyes and she brushed it off with a sweet chuckle.

"It's alright. I've forgiven you a long time ago, though, you're not the only one at fault. I'm sorry as well."

"It's alright," I sighed. "We live and we learn, right?"

"Right," she nodded in agreement.

Just as I was about to ask Ino if she wanted to grab dinner with me (as friends of course!), Karin burst into the room; which I should've expected, granted that we had dinner with each other every night in one of the cafeterias.

"Hey, Sakura are you ready to—helloooo."

She paused and gave Ino a good stare.

"Wow, Sakura, you've really outdone yourself… but honestly, whatever happened to Rin? I mean, damn, your hickies are still fresh. "

I blushed, insanely embarrassed, _once again_, by Karin and moved my hands up to my neck to cover up the love bites there. Two of them were just red marks, but one was sure to bruise up pretty badly.

Before I could even explain myself, Karin made her way over to Ino, offering her a hand, "Hi there. I'm Karin. The half of the room that looks like a nuclear wasteland is mine. Sorry about the mess."

Ino shook her hand politely and smiled over at me with a knowing look.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ino."

"Well then, Ino, would you like to have dinner with Sakura and me?"

"Sure," Ino said and I smiled, happy that I wasn't the one to ask her and that she had agreed to attend.

I knew this was my chance to make things right with Ino and I was fully prepared to leave everything behind to regain the friend I once hand.

* * *

1- Story of my life at the moment. :/  
2- Boy shorts are win. Right? :D  
3- The song being mentioned here is "Gee". That song gets stuck in my head everytime I hear it. Oy.

**A/N: I updated super early. I was just so pleased and delighted to see so much reader response. I love you guys. :D Also, I love how well accepted Rina has become. I plan on sticking to the Ino/Sakura pairing I promised this story was going to be. I can assure you that you will love Ino by the end of the story, and if you don't love her as much as you love Rina, you'll at least agree with the ending.**

**As a one time event, I will take suggestions from my reviews to edit the story with. Answer this question in your review with your top 2 answers:  
Who do you want to see Rina with? (One of those answers has to be me, the author. Haha, I'm just kidding... DX)**

**Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please review,  
E.E.**


	17. Free Dessert

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Free Dessert**

I waited nervously outside of her dorm as I waited for her to finish up getting ready. I was fidgety and in no way was my speech coherent. My palms felt clammy and my face was probably adorned in a permanent blush.

She stepped outside wearing really light blue jeans that hugged her hips and legs just right and a black NorthFace jacket. A black and gray scarf was wrapped around her neck. Her platinum blonde hair was down, about jaw length, and it was a bit messy.

She looked good, as always.

"Hi," I said, feeling a lopsided smirk tackle my lips into an outward appearance of calm collectedness.

"Hi Sakura," she smiled back. "You look nice."

I felt her sky blue eyes trace my figure very quickly, and I smiled, at least confident in my outfit. Rina had helped me pick it out, just for this occasion.

"Thanks; you too."

She smiled at me with a very faint blush on her cheeks and she suggested that we went ahead and left.

Sometime in January, fairly close to new years, Ino called me up and asked if I wanted to have dinner with her so that we could "catch up". Who was I to say no? I immediately agreed and then told this to Rina who demanded we went shopping immediately to prepare me for this date.

Rina's only words of advice were for me to act natural and not to get so caught up in the idea of Ino possibly wanting more out of our healing relationship. For all I knew, she didn't want anything more than friendship. Wasn't she still dating Sasuke?

Our date wasn't even formal anyways—we were just going to IHOP.

…I needed to stop calling it at date.

Dinner was rather long, for we ended up sitting there for a long time chatting mindlessly with each other. Things seemed normal enough; we were laughing and joking. Everything seemed so natural. Her smile seemed so natural. The way her eyes lightened even more while she laughed seemed so natural to me. The way she gently touched her chin while pondering seemed so natural.

Her voice seemed so natural.

"Is there anything else I can get you ladies?" our waitress asked once more, interrupting the trance Ino had put me in.

"Ah, we must've been sitting here too long," I joked with her. She smiled and shook her head.

"No, that is absolutely fine," she smiled at me with a wink.

"Well, I think we're ready for the check," I requested and she assured us she would be right back with it and headed off.

"She's been flirting with you all night," Ino observed rather neutrally.

"Really?"

I hadn't noticed. I was far too wrapped up in Ino and her familiar mannerism.

"Yeah," Ino laughed, beginning to mimic her.

"And what would you lovely ladies want for dinner?" she asked me in a sultry voice and a wink. Her eyes seemed to be burning with lust and I immediately became uncomfortable.

"And just for you," she continued in her faux-seductive voice, "Free dessert."

This was when she licked her lips in a ridiculous manner and I burst out into laughter, unable to keep it in any longer.

"Shush, she's coming back," I noticed, watching our waitress head over with the checks. I noticed they were separate checks even though it was obvious we were dining together. She handed Ino hers and then handed me mine.

"Have a good night, ladies," she said before leaving. It was only after Ino had mentioned her flirtatious advances did I notice the extra swing in her hips.

I looked down at my check to see she had written her phone number on it. The blue numbers were curly—somewhat sloppy—yet feminine at the same time.

"Oh, sweet," I laughed and Ino rolled her eyes.

"Totally unattractive way to get a date," she scoffed before we walked up to the front to pay. The process was quick and easy and we were heading out as people were filing in.

"I can't believe you left her a tip like that!" Ino laughed as we exited the restaurant. The sun had finally set and it was super cold.

"What? She was a good waitress," I argued playfully.

Ino was about to reply but a snowflake fluttered down and hit her in the eye, causing her to momentarily lose her train of thought. She flinched and then realized what it was.

"It's snowing," she said, and before I could say anything about it only being one tiny snowflake, the sky opened up upon us and thick, heavy flakes began to fall rapidly.

"Let's get you back to your dorm then," I said, amazed at how quickly the flakes had begun to fall. She smiled her agreement and we walked back to my car (or, to be specific, my dad's car he let me borrow for the weekend).

As I drove, I noted how distracting the large flakes were when they fell into the beams of the car's headlights and how fast the snow seemed to be accumulating. When I had heard it was going to snow, I kind of brushed off the idea because of how the snow never stuck to the ground. For the longest time, I'd been used to false alarms and disappointments. It was certainly a surprise to see the snow actually accumulating.

If I didn't hurry, I'd be stuck there. I had class in the morning, and I really did need to get back to school.

"Sakura?" Ino asked me hesitantly as we arrived on the university campus. One of the prettiest campuses I had even been to by far. It had a modern look to it, but it still had lots of white pillars and brick buildings. I was mostly attracted to the perfect grass lawns and abundant foliage. However, all of that was a bit difficult to see at night.

"Yeah?"

She was silent for a moment, perhaps deliberating what she was going to say to me.

"When Temari went to see you, what did you guys talk about?"

I wasn't prepared for that question and I wondered if I should answer it truthfully. Was it worth it? Wait, didn't she talk to Temari every now and then? Why ask me that question? What purpose would it serve?

Well, it wouldn't kill me to answer it.

"We talked about high school, and she apologized to me for her actions, and we talked about you."

"Oh…"

She seemed disappointed.

"What exactly do you want to know Ino?" I asked her as I turned onto the road her dorm was located. She lived right near the university's large basketball stadium; I wondered if the commotion and traffic bothered her when they had games. I'm sure she attended them whenever she could—it was unlike Ino to miss a major social event.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Forget I even mentioned it."

I did as she asked, not really wanting to talk about it at all.

I parked my car in the lot, offering to walk her up the stairs to the door. We did this, silently, watching the snow gather everywhere. I'd have to drive extra slow all the way back home. It would take twice as long, probably.

When we got to the door, Ino turned to look at me and smiled.

"So, I'm really happy we're talking again," she said and I nodded with a smile of my own.

"Me too. I missed you," I said with a blush.

She gathered me in a hug and I enjoyed her momentary warmth before she let go. She looked a bit unsure about something and I cocked an eyebrow upwards at her, questioningly. It was then she placed a palm on my cheek and leant forward to kiss me. I turned away, surprised by her attempt and suddenly filled with fear. I couldn't believe I didn't notice how closely we had been standing.

"Ino… Come on, don't do this," I muttered, feeling pain fill me once again.

Was I nothing more to her than someone to use? Was that her purpose of requesting my friendship once more? Fuck that. This wasn't going to happen again.

Ino looked worried, and her sky blue eyes were searching mine frantically as she searched for something to say.

"I'm sorry," she quickly babbled, and I watched as a puff of fog rose from her lips.

Damn, it was cold. I thought we could maybe avoid this conversation and forget this had even happened, but Ino wasn't having that.

"Look, I don't know if Temari told you this or not, but I knew about her crush on you. As a good friend, I stifled any sort of romantic attachment I had to you. Friends don't date their friends' exes." (1)

"What are you trying to tell me?" I felt my eyebrows twitch into the awkward cramped position they assumed whenever I cried and my eyes began to sting a little. No way in hell was I going to cry in front of her again.

She heaved a frustrated sigh, rubbing her hands together for warmth.

"What I'm trying to say is that I liked you too, Sakura. I mean, I didn't love you or anything, but what I felt for you wasn't just friendship."

I clenched my eyes shut tightly and shook my head.

"Ino, damn it! These aren't things you keep to yourself, no matter where your loyalty lies."

I was suddenly frustrated. I couldn't believe this. This was surreal. This was impossible. This was fucking stupid. No way did I feel shitty for the latter part of my senior year—the time that was supposed to be the best time of my life—because of something dumb like this!

"I know that now, and I'm sorry! I was afraid of—"

"Of what Ino? Honestly, what were you afraid of? I'm dying to know."

I was mad, and that was harsh, but there was nothing else I could feel then but anger. She flinched at my words, and I felt for a good, strong moment very good about that. Finally, she was hurting the way I did, if even a fraction. Finally she knew what it was like.

"Look, Ino, this is all fine and dandy, but… I don't even know what to say to you right now. I feel like you're just fucking with me, and you have no good intentions with whatever it is you want from me. I'm not going to be your fuck buddy, or your friend with benefits. I'm just Sakura, ok? I can't be any more than that. All I can offer you now is friendship. I can't hurt anymore. I won't do that to myself."

"Just friends?"

"Just friends," I confirmed.

"Nothing more?"

I don't know what it was, or why it was, but I hesitated. I looked her in the eye and I didn't know what to say. She was watching me, ever so closely with her baby blue eyes filled with apprehension. Her face was flushed because of the cold and her nose was red. The tips of her ears were too. I had an impulse to remove the black beanie sitting on my head to cover hers with, so she could tuck her ears into its warmth.

"Ino, what do you want from me?" I asked her, impatient, but ready to wait for her answer before departing.

She shook her head, lips parted, searching desperately for the right words.

I sighed, and shook my head.

"I need to leave before it's absolutely impossible to get home. This snow is ridiculous."

I turned to leave and started away wondering why I constantly had to put up with disappointment and stupid things. I was worried about how I would stand talking to Rina on the phone later that night, crying like I had done just the year before.

"Sakura!" Ino exclaimed and I turned just in time to see her tackle me in a tight hug. I lost my footing for a moment in the snow that had accumulated, but I found my balance as quickly as I had lost it. She pressed her check against mine and I was concerned about how cold her skin was until warmth sporadically filled every corner of my body.

Her blonde locks smelled so good.

"Be my girlfriend," she mumbled into my ear.

Suddenly, there were tears in my eyes. I wanted to say yes, but I was _so_ afraid. I couldn't possibly just agree to something like that on a whim. But if I didn't agree to it on a whim, I might've just let the opportunity pass me by like a picture perfect scene that could only be captured by a photographer once and never again. And I'd think about it too hard. I always thought about things too hard.

Taking a deep breath to calm my pounding heart, I wrapped my arms around Ino, allowing the natural heat of our bodies to mingle and combine. The snow couldn't touch us. We were an inseparable warmth—a force to be reckoned with.

"Ino, are you serious about this?" I asked her, still on the defensive—I refused to let my guard down—I refused to let down the barriers just in case she was just playing with me.

"Yes," she breathed, and her warm breath danced into my ear.

"Then yes. Of course," I decided, blocking out my mind screaming at me not to do what I had just done. It was illogical, but that's exactly what love was.

I felt tears in my eyes again and I let my face drop into her shoulder.

"Really?" her voice broke with emotion and I had to wonder how she was really feeling about this. I was convinced it wasn't guilt that led her to this decision. She honestly did like me.

"Yes really. When I said I loved you, I really did love you. I'm not going to pass up an opportunity like this."

"I'm so sorry about what happened between us earlier. I should've just told Temari how I felt… she would've understood."

"Temari knew how you felt," I realized. "She was just being a selfish bitch."

Temari was also lucky that I was too happy to be angry at that moment. However, the next time I saw her, she was guaranteed a punch in the face.

It was silent and the cold currents of air and snow were licking at our skin and clothing. I was content, however. The cold couldn't penetrate my newfound fortress of warmth and happiness.

I pulled away, and kissed Ino gently and briefly on the lips. My lips were chapped because of the cold, but she didn't seem to care as she pulled me in for another kiss as soon as our lips parted. Her mouth was so warm. She was so warm. I felt warm—my heart felt warm.

When we stopped kissing, I held her gaze and a goofy smile appeared on my face.

"I should probably start back now," I whispered to her gently and she frowned.

"Stay," she requested. "Please stay. I'm sure they'll cancel classes. There's no possible way you could drive home right now without putting yourself in danger."

I looked up to see that there was truth to her words. There was so much snow; almost two inches. That was just enough to cause me trouble on the highway.

"Ok," I complied, not really wanting to leave anyways. She grabbed my hand and led me inside and down the hall. We were at her room rather quickly and I entered to discover that it was a small suite with a tiny living room and kitchen, two bathrooms, and two bedrooms. She explained to me that they lived there, two to a room.

We quietly entered her room and I was surprised to see TenTen sitting at the desk that they shared. I couldn't believe that _she_ was the messy roommate Ino had been complaining about.

"Oh hi Sakura," she said with a smile. I blushed, never expecting to see her again. I hadn't even known she had been accepted to this university.

"Hi TenTen. How have you been?" I asked, contemplating taking off my hat. I wasn't quite warm yet and I decided my winter clothing would be shed once I was fully comfortable.

"Alright, just the same old stuff," she smiled and then she looked at Ino and then back at me.

"I was just about to move into the living room and do my homework," she said before gathering her books and laptop and heading out of the door.

That night, it took me forever to fall asleep. I couldn't sleep because I was so giddy with joy and I feared as soon as I shut my eyes, I would open them up to find that I was only dreaming and Ino really hadn't requested that I be her girlfriend. Eventually, sleep overcame me and I was whisked away into a deep slumber. Everything felt perfect. She felt perfect in my arms and I felt perfect with my arms around her. For the first time in a long while, I was more than content or just ok. I was happy.

* * *

(1)- "Friends don't date their friends' exes". What do you think of this "rule"?

**A/N: Alright! Things are rolling along. There's still more to come, so don't worry, this isn't the last chapter. However, I've seemed to run out of stock chapters, so the chapters might be coming a lot slower. I also have to start cracking down on studying for AP Tests in a couple of weeks. So, I might not update for a while a lot longer than usual, but don't abandon this story! I promise to continue it within a reasonable time.**

**Thank you for reading; please review!  
-E.E.**


	18. Vulnerable

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 18: Vulnerable**

"_Holy shit! Sakura, that's awesome,"_ Rina squealed into the phone and I blushed, watching Ino sleep deeply.

She was so beautiful. I was smitten.

"Yeah…"

"_You don't seem too excited,"_ her voice dropped in enthusiasm quite the bit.

"I'm happy… Insanely happy, but that's why I'm worried. Last year I realized that Ino was the only person who had any sort of power over me, completely. This vulnerability is frightening. She could choose to hurt me again, way before I'm ready for it. I don't know if I should do this or not…"

"_Sakura, babe, don't think too hard about this. This is how you're supposed to feel when you're in love—vulnerable—but to counter that vulnerability is the trust you have in your partner to not hurt you."_

"I don't trust her," I said without a doubt.

"_Well you need to if you want it to work out. I know you want it to work out."_

I sighed, "I do."

"_Well then, stop being such a Worrying Wendy and let her know how it is and what you're feeling at the moment." (1)_

"I'll do that when she wakes up," I said feeling very tired myself for no reason at all. Why be tired when that was the best sleep I had gotten in the longest while?

"_Good,"_ she whispered. I could hear hesitancy mixed in with her smiling words.

"I'll call you later and let you know when I think it's safe for me to head back to school."

"_Ok; I'll be waiting to hear back from you."_

Damn, she was a great friend.

"I love you," I said with a smile.

"_I love you too. Bye!"_

She hung up and I sighed, glancing over at Ino again. Her lips were slightly parted, very welcomingly, and slight snores were exiting her mouth. I thought it was cute that she snored. Her blonde hair was slightly messy, which was understandable because she'd been in bed for a while.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I was so nervous! I couldn't believe it, but I'd enjoy it as much as possible. I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

Instead of waking Ino up, I opted to read a book that was on her desk. It was probably for a class she had—some sort of humanities class with a concentration in science. What other type of class would read a novel called _Guns, Germs, and Steel_?

Very bored by the first two chapters of the book I set it down and looked up to watch my girl sleep some more.

My girl… I liked how that sounded.

I noticed her breathing wasn't as slow and deep as it had been before and I watched her open her eyes before sighing and shutting them again.

So, she wasn't asleep. Having trouble getting out of bed? I didn't remember her being that type.

Her eyes opened and she gazed up at the ceiling, thoughtfully. She wasn't staring off into space, but she wasn't looking at anything in particular either. There was obviously something on her mind. Something that was saddening her—I could see that in her light blue eyes. Was it me? Was it my fault?

I got up, startling her, and walked over to her bed.

I lay down next to her, hesitantly draping an arm across her body. She was very warm.

"Good morning," I said gently watching her carefully for any strange response.

She smiled and then said with a blush, "Good morning."

"So, we're snowed in. What should we do for fun?" I asked her.

She glanced over at me, giving me an incredulous look, and it was then that I realized how what I had said could be taken in… not so innocent ways.

"I… I didn't mean it like that," I blushed and she merely shook her head and laughed at me.

"You're cute," she replied before rolling over to face me completely.

My blush only deepened, but I held her beautiful blue gaze and smiled at her.

"You're beautiful," I replied and she didn't seem to be expecting that. She blushed right back at me and I could only continue smiling.

She shut her eyes, sighing—I couldn't tell if it was a content sigh, or a frustrated sigh.

Since when was Ino so hard to read?

"Ino?"

She looked up at me expectantly, and I felt my heart stir and heat churn in the pit of my stomach. Her eyes effortlessly undid me, and I felt my desire for her spark. I swallowed hard, pushing back my lust. Her big blue eyes were watching me carefully and I could only wonder if she knew what she could do to me with a simple look.

"I… um…" Damn, I couldn't think. "Is this official?"

"Is 'what' official? Us?"

"Yeah," I replied with a nod.

"Of course," she smiled at me, and I glanced at her lips briefly before allowing my gaze to reconnect with her eyes.

"What about Sasuke?"

She looked a little annoyed that I mentioned him and shook her head.

"The day I went to find you… the reason I was at your school was to break up with him. Going to see you was a last minute decision."

"Oh... So you're not dating?"

"No. Why would I ask you to date me if I was still with him?"

I didn't reply and averted my eyes.

"Sakura, look, I know I hurt you without a thought back in high school… but I'm not like that anymore. I was just confused and I didn't know what I wanted."

I nodded, not finding it within me to say anything. I found it kind of pathetic that I loved her so much that I'd let her walk all over me, and that I'd keep going back to her.

"I know what I want now," she finished.

"I hope what you want is me, because I've been wanting you for so long that it hurts."

She smiled at me and sat up.

"I'm going to go shower."

Her exit was abrupt and I was slightly worried. I felt like I'd always be worried with Ino; analyzing her every word and action. Hopefully my hyperactive mind wouldn't ruin our relationship. We'd have to talk with one another a lot, and I was getting much better at that… talking that was.

I busied myself in her room by slipping under the comforter again and inhaling her scent. TenTen walked in to find me wrapped up in Ino's blankets.

"Hey Sakura" she said, taking a seat on her bed.

"Hi," I said with a blush, feeling rather shy.

"So you and Ino, huh?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"I… um… yeah," I replied, despite knowing whether or not Ino wanted this to be public.

"About time," she said as she busied herself around the room, probably trying to pick her things out of the widespread disaster of clothing, books, and miscellaneous items.

She looked up from her searching only to find me giving her a strange look.

"Ino… confided in me about last year. I figured that was what was going on, but I wasn't sure… I'm just happy that she's finally asked you out. But you need to know a little about what Ino's been going through this past month or so."

"What she's been through?" I wondered. What has she been through recently? Turmoil in debating whether or not she should date me? Was I that bad of a fate? Was it terrible to date me? And if so, why did she ask me then? Was this a relationship founded on pity?

"Yeah, family trouble and whatnot."

"How is this relevant to our relationship? If it's personal stuff, shouldn't I hear it from her anyways?"

TenTen's brown eyes were on me briefly before she continued to dig through her mess.

"Sakura, Ino's a rather secretive person. She wouldn't tell you."

"Secretive? No, Ino would tell me if she wanted me to know," I countered running a hand through my tangled pink hair only to have my fingers snag painfully on a tangle.

"Not if it concerned you. She wouldn't want to worry you, and you know this."

"Look… I'll admit I'm curious, but I'll try my hand at waiting for her to tell me."

Fuck it—now I was worried. I was reluctant to leave it at that, but TenTen left the room after rolling her eyes at me claiming she was going to use their suite-mates' shower.

Ino returned moments later, wrapped in a towel. I watched her closely, marveling at how her hair darkened into a golden-tan color when wet.

"I left a towel and a washcloth in the bathroom for you. Feel free to use the shampoo and body wash, and whatever else you find in there."

"Uh, yeah, thanks," I said, noticing that she probably wanted me out of the room as she dressed.

As I showered I milled over any sort of relationship I held with Ino's parents. I had met them a couple of times and they had seemed very nice, but wasn't that the usual song and dance? Seem nice in public, and then, behind the closed doors of your home, be abrasive and horrible. But I was good at reading people, because I did so naturally, and they didn't seem hostile in anyway. The only times I heard of them having any sort of problem with Ino was the first time she broke up with Sasuke and they really wanted her to continue dating him for the mere fact that it helped their business... Which I realized wasn't necessary. The Yamanakas owned a small flower shop and a nationally known greeting card business. They could survive and do very well without the funding from the Uchihas.

Maybe that's what it was. She'd broken up with Sasuke and subsequently decided to date me… but how would they have known that? I shut off the shower, feeling very choked up in the steam and exited the bathroom. I knocked on Ino's door and waited for a moment for permission to enter and only did so when she said it was ok.

"Here," she said, handing me a pile of clothing with a smile. "I'm going to go make breakfast." Her eyes were steely, but I knew that wasn't directed at me. I gave her a gentle smile and she averted her eyes.

With that, she left, and I felt a bit strange, never remembering this little bit of interaction between Ino and myself before. I dressed quickly; glad to see she gave me sweatpants and a t-shirt to wear. I felt a bit awkward wearing her underwear, seeing as it was the girliest underwear I had ever worn in my life—and it was the first time I was wearing someone else's underwear, but I pushed that thought aside, opting to not think so much about it. I mean, at least it wasn't a thong or anything.

The sweatpants hugged my hips rather low, and the shirt was a tad bit too large, but other than that, I was insanely comfortable. I found the scent of Ino's fresh clothes to be calming.

I stepped out into the short hallway, wishing I had borrowed a pair of her socks, but sucked it up and made myself known to Ino. When in her presence, the warmth I felt was enough to chase the cold of the tiles away from my chilly toes.

"How do the clothes fit?" she asked me as she surveyed me. I was entranced by the movement of her light blue eyes across my form—they were so beautiful. I had never witnessed a lighter shade of sky blue in all of my existence and I could've honestly spent hours, days, weeks, months, years… infinity, just gazing into them, knowing that they were watching me.

"Um, alright," I mumbled, before smiling brightly. "Do you want any help?"

I stepped forwards and she smiled at me before touching her chin briefly.

"Sure," she said, pulling me forward and kissing me very quickly on the lips.

"Cool," I replied, waiting for her to give me directions on what she desired.

That had been a surprising and nice kiss. I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off of my lips as she contemplated what job to give me.

The cooking was fun. I had always liked cooking—I was kind of forced to once my mom left because my dad would've burned the house down multiple times—and Ino made it a trillion times more fun with her witty quips and engaging conversation. I also liked her physicality. She kissed me on the cheeks and lips multiple times and I was very aware of the gentle touches she would gift my hands, arms, and hips with. There were many times I wanted to just discard the cooking equipment and my duties as kitchen helper and kiss her until she could stand no more.

However, I was insanely hungry and aware of my responsibilities, so I fought against my carnal desires for moments longer. TenTen had come into the living room to sit on the couch and watch TV, but I could feel her eyes on us. I didn't mind, and it made me even more comfortable to see that Ino didn't mind either.

We were done cooking a lot faster than I had expected and we set the food out on the table. Her other roommates floated out of their room at the smell of eggs, bacon, toast, and pancakes. These two were girls I had never seen before. One redheaded girl and a girl with long black hair.

"Good morning Ino," the one with the black hair said as she entered the living room. "What the occasion?"

"We have a guest," TenTen interrupted, alerting the two girls of my presence, though I'm sure they'd seen me when they walked in.

The redhead introduced herself as Tayuya and the brunette introduced herself as Kin. They both seemed rather friendly, though Kin kept giving me weird looks. Of course, any normal person would've just assumed she was analyzing the strange new girl in her suite, but of course I had to worry it was something different. I was well aware my habits were a bit unhealthy, but perhaps paranoia wasn't the worst thing. I'd caught a number of people up to less than ok things in my dorm building because of it.

We all took seats in the living room with plates of breakfast. I was very content with this arrangement because it was comfortable.

After breakfast, Ino finally explained to the other girls that I was her girlfriend. They seemed ok with it, albeit a bit shocked, but the response was an overall positive one.

I was pleased to see that Ino was happy with this acceptance and decided to snuggle up next to me on the couch.

"So, Sakura, you're rather quiet," TenTen commented as I was gently stroking Ino's platinum blonde hair. "You haven't changed much since high school."

I merely shrugged, struggling to fight the "itis" caused by the meal.

TenTen merely smiled at me and silently watched TV like the other girls did. Kin had already fallen asleep with her head in TenTen's lap and I soon followed suite with my head on Ino's shoulder.

After my nap, Ino and I went into the building's main lounge to participate in a ping-pong tournament with some other students who were trying to pass time because classes had been cancelled for the day. I was undoubtedly terrible at it (it seemed like I was terrible at everything except school and running) but Ino was great, and even though I was kicked out rather early I stuck around to cheer her on.

She lost in the quarterfinals, but I was proud of her, of course. She stayed around after the game to chat with some friends and I gave her room, fearing that perhaps she didn't want to be with me in public just yet. I chatted with some of the students, saying I was just visiting from their rival school and of course there were some joking comments here and there, but everyone seemed to be polite enough.

It was a while until Ino beckoned me over to meet some more of her friends that conveniently stayed in the same building as her and I did so shyly, trying to avoid raising speculation about our relationship.

I was surprised when she grabbed my hand and introduced me as her girlfriend.

This was so different. Nothing I had ever expected with Ino. I had never expected to be in the public with our relationship. I was rather proud, and my ego had expanded 20 fold. She was mine—everyone would know. I'd never felt so empowered before in my life. I was so happy, that by the time we walked down the hallway and entered her suite, I could do nothing but pull her close and tell her how happy I was that we were together.

She smiled at me at that admission and gifted me with a deep kiss. Kissing her was like drinking from the fountain of youth. Pizzaro had failed. I was the winner. I had found what he had not, and if I could, I would drink from this fountain for all eternity.

It didn't take long for her to suggest for us to go back to her room.

* * *

1- "Worrying Wendy", Positive Polly, Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, Crabby Claudia, Cynical Cindy (I could go on and on. I like making these up and I don't know why. I'm weird. v_v)

**A/N: I'm back. :3 Over the past several weeks I've been up to a lot:  
1. I beasted my AP test.  
2. Got over what I realize was heartbreak  
****3. Was forced to go to prom, but had a fantastic day/experience  
4. Resisted peer pressure! Huzzah! lol  
5. Learned how to do the "cupid shuffle" (did I mention I don't know how to dance?)  
6. Saw an awesome musical!  
7. Read about 5 books (For class)  
8. Had a crush on this really awesome girl (damn me for being shy! D:)  
9. Got a haircut, finally!  
10. Won a small scholarship. (Hey, anything helps)**

**Anyways, enough about my life. I'm sorry for not updating for so long, but I'm back, and baby I'll treat you right. ;P  
Feel free to tell me about all of the things you accomplished while my story wasn't here to distract you. Haha, jk, but if you really want to, I'm all ears... erm, eyes.**

**Thanks for reading and please review,  
E.E.**


	19. Gone For Almost Seven Years

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 19: Gone For Almost Seven Years**

I left Ino's dorm late one evening, two days after being snowed in. The snow was finally melting, and the road crews had been able to head out to do a bit of a number on the ice that had been hindering people from getting to work. There were piles of dirty brown snow plowed onto the sides of the road. They would be there, melting, for a very long time.

I drove straight home, having told my dad that I would do that so he could drop me off and get back to work. When I pulled into the driveway of the house, I was surprised to see a very conspicuous car, glimmering in the light of the snow. It was a black Toyota of new make and model, perhaps the one for the following year.

New car? Whose was it?

I tore my eyes away from the shiny black car and trudged up the icy steps cautiously—by the looks of it, someone had already fallen or slipped.

I was incredibly happy and anxious to tell my dad about the new development but as soon as I stepped into the living room, all of the excitement seeped from me spontaneously.

What the fuck was she doing here?

I looked up to see my dad sitting down across from her with discomfort blatantly sitting on his face. He suddenly looked years older than he was to me, and I knew it was from the sudden, unexpected stress. And Anko… Anko looked so uncomfortable. It was the first time I had ever seen her look so self-conscious in my time of knowing her. She was usually glowing with confidence, and she demanded attention, but now…

Well now, the woman I hadn't seen for years was sitting there in my living room, exuding beauty and confidence. It was as if she had stolen it from Anko and was wearing it as her own. It was as if they had switched places and that Anko was sickly and stressed.

When I stepped in, she looked up, surprised and delighted. I was surprised as well, that was for sure, but I wasn't delighted. I was a mixture of many different things, and delight wasn't one of them. Most of those feelings I was feeling were negative feelings, and had I not been so elated about Ino, I probably would've lost my temper immediately.

My dad looked up at me, startled and jumpy. He looked worried for a second and then saw that I wasn't going to do anything brash and gave me a questioning look. What could cause his daughter to keep her temper? He would find out, as soon as I found out why my biological mother was sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Hi," I said awkwardly and she took in my appearance very briefly before she smiled.

"Oh, Sakura, just look at you!" she gushed and I was thoroughly confused, because I couldn't remember the times when she was happy, if there were any at all. All I remember was her rage and depression. This didn't seem like the same woman, yet, it was her. I knew it was her because her physical features said so.

Her eyes were still bright and blue, and they were gorgeous without the dark rings around them that seemed to be years deep and irreversible. Her hair was long and red, flowing past her shoulders and silkier than I could recall. Her smile was fantastic, albeit a bit hesitant and her skin was flawless and rosy at the cheeks.

She didn't look the same. I couldn't see her. I didn't know her.

"You've grown up so beautifully!" she attempted to compliment.

"Yeah," I said, suddenly feeling my bite return, "without a shred of help from you."

She smile faltered and she stood to approach me, but I was having none of that.

"Please, just don't," I sighed, not in the mood at all for her.

Gone for almost 7 years, and expecting to be welcomed back with open arms? Bullshit. Dad moved on, and I grew up and I left behind my silly little girl desires to have a mommy to make my lunch and a mommy to cry to when I was heart broken. It was too late. It was too late for her, and it was too late for us. Anko was here, and there was certainly no room for her.

"Sakura, give your mother a chance," my dad muttered, obviously emotionally drained by her mere presence.

"She's not my fucking mother! She lost that title the day she decided to leave me behind."

That was when my eyes began to sting with unshed tears. I felt vulnerable.

"I'm sorry Sakura," she said and then she sighed. "It wasn't working… I wasn't healthy. You know this."

I didn't say anything but merely turned away and walked into the kitchen. I stood there for a moment, wondering what could've possessed her to come seek us out after all of these years. If she was getting help for her condition, which she obviously was, then she had gotten it years before. Why now? Why was she there all of a sudden?

My dad followed in moments after, I could tell by the heaviness of his steps.

"Sakura," he said with a sigh and I turned to look at him, ashamed of my tears. "Come here."

I did as he ordered and buried my face into his chest, crying.

"It's ok," he mumbled, and I could only wonder if he knew why I was crying? I could only wonder if he knew that what made me cry was revisiting all of those times I was weak and needed my mom. All of those times I couldn't talk to him, because, for a very brief time I thought it was his fault mom left. All of those times I cried myself to sleep when I was little, worrying that it was _my_ fault that she left. That she didn't love me. That she wanted someone else; a different daughter. And now I was crying because I still didn't know if all of that was untrue. Part of me wanted to be angry with her for being gone and part of me wanted her to embrace me and tell me that she loves me and that she never meant to leave and hurt me—that she'd love me regardless of how I looked, or who I liked, or my personality. I had always wanted a mother, which was why I bent so easily when Anko stepped into our lives, yet now my real mother was back. How was I supposed to react to that?

"What does she want?" I finally managed to say after calming myself just a little.

"Just to stop by, and say hello. She wants to take responsibility and be in your life more because she's finally assured herself that she's gotten help."

"Fuck her."

"Sakura, don't be insensitive," he chastised and I had to wonder what exactly he was talking about. His green eyes were filled with discomfort. Look at what she was doing to him.

"_I_ shouldn't be insensitive? Was she thinking about _our_ feelings this whole time she's been out and about doing god knows what? Fuck her! She doesn't deserve a second chance."

There were tears in my eyes again, yet I was making no move to hide them.

"She can't just change her mind and decide to want us back! That's unfair to both of us, and to Anko," I continued.

"Sakura, it's not like that."

"How the fuck do you know? I'm just supposed to let her back in, after everything I've been through _without_ her? She doesn't deserve to even look at me. What kind of sick fuck just leaves their family behind? She didn't fucking want us then, what makes you think she'll want us now?"

"She was sick, Sakura," his tone was stern and I realized that maybe I had hit a sore spot. "She was sick, and she needed help. And now she's got it. Why can't you let go?"

"Because," my voice cracked, "because I hurt so much, dad. I'm not who she thinks I am, and she's not who I think she is. Too much has happened."

I glared defiantly at him, tears still slipping out of my eyes and made a move to push past him, but stopped when seeing her standing there in the doorway looking incredibly guilty.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura," she cried, covering her face with her hands. "I didn't want to leave, I really didn't, but I couldn't stay. I would've hurt you and your father and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to ruin your childhood by staying around in the state that I was in."

"It doesn't matter. I didn't have a childhood," I spat at her. I turned to my dad, "Just take me back to school."

He gave me a look, and I could hear her stifling back sobs behind me.

"Please," my voice cracked once again.

Without argument, he drove me back to school. During the drive (which had been lengthened just a bit by my father's carefulness due to the conditions of the roads) I had been lost in my mind as I attempted to assess the situation. Part of me wanted to be mad forever, but part of me knew I was wrong for how I acted.

I was too stubborn and proud. I refused to let my dad know that I realized that I was in the wrong, but instead held a stony look on my face as I went back up to my dorm.

Karin was asleep when I came in and I didn't bother waking her up. I laid on my bed and picked up the first book I could find to get my mind off of what had happened just the previous hour. The book I picked up happened to be _Carmilla_, a vampire novel. It was incredibly short, and I was almost done with it when my phone rang.

Karin bolted out of bed at the sound of the ringtone and scampered about spazzing about how she was going to be late for class.

"Karin, chill, classes are cancelled for today," I mumbled, watching her stub her toe on the foot of her bed and crumple onto the ground. I rolled my eyes and got up to comfort her, knowing I wouldn't be able to talk to Rina (I knew this was her by the K-pop ringtone) without Karin in a stable state.

It took a few minutes, and a trip to the ice machine, to quiet her down.

Life was never dull with Karin.

I stepped out into the hallway and took a seat, knowing that if I didn't get away from Karin, she'd distract me from my phone call.

The phone rang once before Rina answered.

_"Well…?"_ she questioned and I sighed, still very put off about my mother's reappearance.

Hearing the sigh, the phone went silent and I could tell that she was trying to think of something to say.

_"What's wrong?"_ she asked, genuinely worried.

"I… My mom showed up today."

_"Your mom?"_

And maybe she was thoroughly confused. I never told her about my mom. And perhaps out of pure courtesy she never bothered to ask about her once she noticed she wasn't in the picture. But now I had to tell her and I had to relive the moments that made me feel like crap.

"Yeah… it's been 9 years since I've last seen her."

_"Is this a bad thing?" _she asked naively. I almost smiled at her innocence. I could just imagine her big brown eyes narrowing in confusion as her eyebrows tilted cutely.

"I don't know… I'm so confused about how I should feel. I don't know if I can ever let her back into my life. I was nine when she left and it really hurt me…"

_"What did she come back for? To visit? To live with you again? What does she want?"_

"My dad said she came to apologize and be in my life more."

_"Did she apologize?"_

"…Yes."

_"But you don't want to accept her," _she stated and I felt even more childish than before.

"Yes and no, Rina. She ruined our family… There's so much healing to do in regards to her, and there's so much she missed. And she returns right before Dad and Anko's wedding! Imagine how Anko feels… I want her to really feel sorry for what she did."

_"Why did she leave anyways?"_

I flinched at that comment, knowing Rina would never side with me once I explained, but I attempted anyways.

"She was mentally ill and needed treatment. But before you judge me, take into account the fact that she probably started her treatment years ago."

_"Sakura, I think you know what I'm going to say…"_

I sighed, feeling bad, yet still angry.

"Whatever."

I could picture Rina rolling her pretty brown eyes at me and my bad attitude, but she left it at that and moved onto a different, more enjoyable topic.

_"So, how'd it go with Ino?"_

"It was fantastic," I breathed lightly, feeling giddy about it once again. The mere mention of her name brought me close to losing my mind. Happiness floated into me like wanton clouds on a breezy spring afternoon.

_"I'm really happy for you,"_ Rina said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. _"I was worried, when you called me back, that something really bad had happened with Ino."_

"No… I mean, it was almost something bad, because I left the decision in her hands, but I think she made the right one. I'm so incredibly happy about this. She was treating me like I never expected."

_"How is that?"_

"She introduced me to her friends as her girlfriend and she was open with me around them. She's not ashamed of me… I was surprised, really."

_"And what about Sasuke?"_

"She dumped him."

Rina was silent for a moment. She wanted to say something, but she decided against it. I could tell by her pauses.

"I guess I should call Ino and at least tell her about this. No doubt she's wondering why I didn't call her to tell her I was back safely. I bet she's worried."

_"I bet she is," _Rina mirrored slightly. _"I'll talk to you later."_

"Alright, bye Rina."

_"Bye."_

I hung up the phone and promptly called Ino, wishing all the while that she was with me.

_"Hi,"_ she said into the phone and I smiled, instinctively.

"Hi Ino," I replied, fighting back the impulse to call her by a pet name. I didn't know if she was ready for that.

_"So, you're safe at school?"_

"Yes," I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts before continuing. "Sorry for taking so long to call you back. I ran into some trouble at home, and then Rina called when I got back to school."

_"Trouble at home?"_

"My mom decided she wanted to come back out of the blue. I wasn't very happy with it, but it looks like I'm the only one who feels that way."

_"Whoa, your mom? Wow… but it's been… what, eight or nine years since she left, right?"_

"Yeah," I sighed. "I don't really want to talk about that right now."

_"Oh,"_ she seemed a bit put off.

"Yeah, sorry," I mumbled, upset that I wasn't in the mood to talk about it—I just knew that she'd chastise me for my childish behavior, and I'd never hear the end of it. To tell the honest truth, I couldn't comprehend my feelings. I was incredibly ecstatic at the idea of my mother being back, yet I was begrudgingly holding onto my past anger and alienation.

_"It's ok,"_ Ino whispered, and I felt my heart melt.

I wanted to tell her I loved her.

We both had class the following morning, so we bid one another farewell.

That night, I sat up thinking about my mom and mulled over her reappearance.

If she had been out and about, getting help through treatment, and was taking prescription medication, then why didn't she come back sooner. Either she really did want to be a part of my life, driven by guilt to show her face, or she wanted something…

The latter part seemed unreasonable. She… well, she looked great. Healthy and young and beautiful. I was even beginning to doubt it was her because of how healthy and beautiful she looked. But that was my mom, and I knew. I could never forget her beautiful blue eyes and flaming red hair.

Before I went to bed that night, I rummaged through my drawer for an old picture I had. It was a photograph of my mom, holding me in her lap at age seven. I had a big goofy smile on, and my forehead looked even bigger if possible; actually, my entire head looked enormous on my scrawny body. There were dark bags under her eyes, her hair was a mess, and she wore a tired smile on her face, but she was smiling.

Perhaps I had been blind—too bitter because of my abandonment—to realize that she loved me. She loved me a lot.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, once again, for disappearing. I've been busy with end-of-the-school-year/graduation stuff and I've been trying to figure myself out. There hasn't been any luck with that, if you're wondering. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the update. I apologize for not getting to all of the reviews for last chapter. I'll try to be better about that.**

**Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think.  
-E.E.**

**(Also, there's a rather lengthy rant in my profile about the current reason for my writer's block. Read it if you want. If you do read it, however, I'd like your opinion... I'm rather desperate for answers. I want to get out of this slump.)**


	20. A Lot on My Mind

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 20: A Lot on My Mind**

I sat there awkwardly in silence staring at the basket of bread sitting in the middle of the table. We were waiting for dinner—her treat.

I was mentally berating myself for agreeing.

"I'm so proud of you," she said, still talking about college. She obviously didn't know who I was anymore. She never got to see me when I made that shift into a book addict. She was the reason I began locking myself away, reading—I suppose that it made sense she didn't know.

"Thanks…"

Silence met us again and that was all I could hear despite the voices of the other restaurant patrons and the music playing in the background. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, yet I felt alienated and cold. This was all wrong.

"I've already talked to your dad about helping you pay for college. Consider yourself debt free as of today."

"What? How does that even work? What do you do?"

She looked confused for a moment, so I reiterated.

"Your profession. What do you do, job wise?"

"Oh," she looked less confused and I rolled my eyes at her rudely. "I model."

"What the fuck? Model?"

She looked a little put off by my language, but she smiled after a moment's hesitation.

"Yes… Not exactly what I had pictured myself doing years ago, but it's something, and I figure I could do this for a while until I was ready to move onto other things."

I questioned her more, about what agency she modeled for, and how long she was modeling—how she even happened across a modeling job. She answered everything truthfully, at least, to the best of my knowledge. For her openness and smooth speech, I gathered she was either very comfortable with herself, or very good at lying.

I was just about to ask her the question that had been burning in me for the past hour or so, but our waiter came over and we were delivered our food. He wished us a good meal and disappeared.

"Oh, Sakura, that waiter was definitely giving you the eye," she gushed.

I rolled my eyes at that, and began eating my meal, which was some sort of pasta with cheese and tomato sauce topped with chicken. I would've preferred a burger to this, but I suppose it was my fault for not suggesting a laid back diner to go to with her. Why was I expecting her to know what I'd like to eat?

She paused for a moment to finish chewing the food in her mouth. She took a sip of water and then asked, "Are you dating anyone?"

I nodded, and she seemed very skeptical. I blushed and then smiled.

Her eyes caught my smile and she smiled right back at me, at my assumed happiness of my relationship.

"Oh, what's his name? Can I meet him sometime?"

"_Her_ name is Ino, and I really don't care. If you want to meet her, fine."

She looked taken by surprise, and her eyes never left mine. Well, until she glanced away very quickly, and the corner of her mouth twitched.

"Ino Yamanaka?"

I was startled she knew the name… well, remembered it, granted that she did know Ino before she left. I was always at Ino's house when I was little, for various reasons.

"Yes."

"Oh," she was silent again and I went back to eating my pasta, feeling awkward, yet smug. I was happy to have brought her some discomfort. Minutes went by, and neither or us spoke a word. Once again, silence permeated our atmosphere, and I focused on the classy 80s jazz music playing.

"I bet she's grown up into a beautiful young woman," she said after a while.

"She has," my blush was back ten fold, making me feel hot all over. "She's perfect."

Once again, my mother gave me a strange assessing look and then looked past me.

"How long have you been gay?" she asked, obviously in pure curiosity.

"A long while."

She looked worried, but then left it like that. She didn't say anything else about it, and I was fine with that, because _I_ was beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable.

We didn't talk about relationships for a while after that, and I left the restaurant, feeling a little bit better about our relationship (if you could call it that).

A couple of days after dinner with my mom, I entered a very busy segment in my school year and found it difficult to see Ino for a long time. An incredibly long time. Two weeks was killer.

I was ridiculously distracted by the mere thought of her, and I made it my job to text her every night, not wanting to come on too hard and annoy her. I always wanted to talk to her, but I wasn't sure if she always wanted to talk to me. I stopped myself, multiple times, from calling her at different times. I knew that she didn't like me as strongly as I liked her so I figured she didn't think about me as much.

She did surprise me every now and then with a random text here or there. She'd text, "I miss you" or "I'm thinking about you" and my eyes would tear up. I was such a softy when it came to her, but I really did love her a lot and every little thing she did made me love her more.

I tried not to be negligent to Rina, knowing that abandoning your friend just because you were dating someone was a crappy (and annoying) thing to do, but she was busy too. She had just gotten a group assignment for an engineering class and the students in her group were relying on her expertise in robotics and physics. I was a bit put off by that, yet happy at the same time—I didn't want to be distracted.

I managed to get my pile of work done a day earlier than planned, and went out with a couple of friends. I had met them all at a LGBT function hosted at the school near the beginning of the year and I never really hung out with them often because I preferred to spend time with my closer friends. Well, Rina in particular, but that didn't really matter. But, as my dad always said, it was better to have many acquaintances than few close friends… He was a bit backwards, but he'd never really been a trusting guy.

"Sakura!"

I flinched, not noticing they had been talking to me.

"Oh, sorry… just thinking."

One of the girls gave me a smile and I blushed, feeling rather stupid.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" she asked.

"Erm, anywhere… Just not the dining hall. That food is shit."

It was a known fact that the food in the dining hall on the freshman quad was made of dirty diapers and bad memories. Avoiding it at all costs was the only way to survive. I only ventured in there for breakfast, and I sifted through during dinner for dessert. They actually had really good ice cream and fruit.

The bus ride and walk to the local diner wasn't terrible, and the weather was actually pretty nice. It was warm, and it was only expected to get warmer as the week progressed. Just one more week until midterms, and then spring break would start… Could I spend it with Ino? God, what I would give to spend spring break with Ino, at the beach. I could just imagine her now, in a skimpy little bikini, frolicking in the waves.

"Sakura, dude, where do you go all the time?"

I snapped out of my fantasies to see that the group was being seated and I was just standing there like a fool. The blush that settled on my cheeks was probably the hottest blush I had worn on my face in a long while, and it proved to stain my cheeks even after our waiter had left to get our drinks.

"So, you've been zoned out all afternoon," Roku said with a cute smirk on his lips. He leaned forward just slightly in his seat, and I wondered what effect the v-neck shirt he was wearing would've had on me if he were a certain blonde girl who was constantly on my mind.

I could only blush more at my thoughts.

"Yeah," Jesse, the girl who had first caught me daydreaming asked, "What's up?"

"I… um," I blushed. "I just have a lot on my mind."

The other three in the party seemed suddenly interested and I knew that if I didn't just flat out tell them, they'd start on a ridiculously loud conversation intended to embarrass me into speaking. It was an awkward one, intended to be funny, but I didn't think I could handle the embarrassment at that time.

"OH," Carlos started, and I cringed knowing what was coming next, "NO I WILL NOT TAKE OFF MY—!"

"Ok, ok, just stop!" I cut in, noticing the eyes of many of the diner's patrons on us. As if we weren't already gathering a lot of attention for being a group of obviously homosexual college students. The last thing I wanted to be was disruptive in public. I didn't like attention. I'd gotten used to my lesbian attention. I didn't want to add any more.

"There's this girl I'm seeing—"

They all started talking at once. Loudly. So much for not arousing attention.

Words of congratulations were sent my way, as were words of interrogation.

"Her name is Ino," I said, blushing. "I've loved her for a long time now… so… I don't know. I'm just consumed by the thought of her… that's all. I don't mean to be rude or anything. I just think about her a lot."

That evoked a chorus of "awwww" and "oh, how cute". I did catch one response that I wasn't expecting to hear.

"Wait, do you mean Ino Yamanaka?"

I turned to Jesse, surprised to hear Ino's full name.

"Uh, yeah, she's the one."

I smiled stupidly, and Jesse smiled back at me, hesitantly.

"Oh… I met her this summer. She's really pretty. You're a lucky girl."

I found her reply rather strange, but thought nothing of it as our waiter returned with our drinks.

We enjoyed each other's company and dinner was drawn out until we decided that we no longer had any sort of excuse for sitting around at the diner. I parted with them, to head to my dorm alone (which, by the way, is not a good idea anywhere), because I needed alone time with the night air. It was cool, yet the day had been warm enough to keep the atmosphere a comfortable temperature. The stillness of the air coaxed me into a calm, caressing me with fingers of fresh scents and quiet noises.

Back at my dorm I found Karin asleep at her desk with her books spread out everywhere. I woke her up and helped her into bed, smiling at her failed attempt at studying. I set her alarm for a couple of hours later and hoped that she'd want to get up later to continue. No way was I going to let her fail midterms.

Later that night, my mom called, but I didn't answer. I just didn't want to talk to her. What would we talk about anyways? I called my dad to let him know what was going on, and when to pick me up and I asked about how things were going at home. He said things were going well, but making final wedding preparations were kind of stressing him out.

I the idea of wearing a bride's maid dress was stressing _me_ out. No, the dress I could handle—the heels were the things I was scared about.

I sent Ino a text wishing her goodnight in hopes to not distract her much, because I knew she was up studying. She was the type to stay up late two nights before the exam in some sort of drug induced trance of concentration. She was the type to take ADHD medicine to boost her concentration and lengthen her study time… I remember we always had arguments about it back in high school. I didn't approve of it. I saw it as cheating. Ino didn't really care what I thought… Were things different now? Would I have a say? (1)

I didn't want to think about that.

She didn't reply until about half an hour later. I was still lying in bed, reading books. I couldn't sleep.

Her text read: _I'm going to raep this exam up the butt. Goodnight Billboard Brow. *heart*_

I took the misspelling of "rape" as intentional (why was Ino still incapable of making mistakes in my mind?) and found humor in her endearing nickname. The heart was something new. Perhaps she was missing me as much as I was missing her. I could only hope. I was aching to tell her I loved her, as I ached every time we communicated. One day, I would be able to say that to her without reserve, and the mere thought of that massaged comfort into my body and I was finally able to go to sleep.

I loved Ino Yamanaka, and sometime in the near future I'd let her know that again, and she wouldn't reject me.

* * *

1- DO NOT TAKE ADD/ADHD MEDICINE TO BOOST YOUR CONCENTRATION. It's very easy to become dependent; this leads to epic failure. I attempted to warn my friends, but noooo. Who would listen to me anyways?

**A/N: One day, I'll write one of these in which I won't have to apologize for updating so late. Today is not that day, however. Sorry. lol**

**Thank you for reading; please review!  
-E.E.**


	21. I Knew What They Were

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 21: I Knew What They Were**

Disgruntled and annoyed I laid in bed wondering what Ino was up to. It was spring break, and my dad's wedding was tomorrow. What was I doing? Attending the bridal shower? No. Having fun with my girlfriend? No. Moping, all lonely on my bed? Yes.

Where was Ino, you ask? At the beach.

"Fuck," I groaned, totally annoyed by what had happened and how it had happened. It was the first day of spring break and I had gone over to Ino's dorm to see her and surprise her. I had flowers, really pretty flowers—eh, well, at least they were pretty to me.

_I stood outside of her dorm, waiting for someone to answer it. It was Kin who opened the door. When she saw me standing there awkwardly with a bouquet in my hand, she smiled a crooked smile at me and welcomed me in. The suite was dark, the lights off and the shades pulled. There was just enough light slipping through them to see, however._

"_Hey, Ino, someone's here to see you."_

_Perhaps she had forgotten my name, or perhaps she had caught onto the fact that it was a surprise. Ino stepped out of her room in a t-shirt, and only a t-shirt aside from her underwear, looking incredibly tired. I guessed she had been sleeping in…_

_She squinted her eyes at me and she smiled when she saw it was me._

"_Oh, Sakura," she sluggishly walked forward and embraced me in a hug. She smelled nice; perhaps she had taken a shower and gone back to bed._

"_I missed you," I whispered and she sighed before taking a deep breath. "Here, I got you some flowers."_

_She pulled back and spotted the flowers, carefully taking them from me with a sad smile._

"_You're too sweet," she mumbled, looking at them with a strange look in her eyes._

_Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and I noted it was slipping out of the band._

_I noticed that Kin was standing there, watching us and I felt a little intimidated by her presence. Why was she just loitering around? The TV in the living room wasn't on and there was nothing going on in the kitchen either. Just as I was debating whether or not to confront her about privacy, Ino dropped the flowers (which I assumed was an accident)._

"_Oh, here it comes," Kin sighed._

_She turned and bolted into the bathroom and Kin followed after her quickly. I heard a quick and abrupt clanking sound and then someone retching into the toilet. Was Ino sick? I approached the bathroom to find that Kin was helping Ino hold her hair back as she threw up._

"_Ino's a bit hung-over right now," she told me as she began to rub Ino's back. Ino groaned, dry heaving._

_Hung over? So, she had drunk herself into a stupor last night… probably to celebrate being done with exams. Oh Ino._

"_Here, you handle this while I go get her some water," Kin suggested. I took her place behind Ino and held back her silky blonde hair. I rubbed her back gently and she began breathing deeply, no longer dry heaving._

"_Fuck," she breathed, "I'm so sorry about this."_

"_It's ok," I said, just hoping she'd feel better soon. As I sat and rubbed her back, I got lost in my mind, thinking about absolutely nothing. I did so until my eyes fell upon some red marks on Ino's neck. One of them was bruising._

_Hickies, I'd seen them before, countless times. I knew what they were._

_My throat felt suddenly dry as I attempted to swallow back the anger that had spontaneously swelled within me. I kept quiet, however, knowing that if I yelled now, Ino wouldn't want to talk. Not with a pounding headache and an upset stomach. I helped her up and to the sink. Kin was waiting for us with a bottle of water. Ino washed out her mouth and I helped her back to her room and into her bed._

_I was furious, and I wanted answers, but I knew then wasn't the time. After I tucked her in, I turned to leave and she grabbed my arm. I pulled it away, angrily and she looked up at me with her big blue eyes, washing away my anger. She looked guilty._

"_Are you staying?"_

"_No," I said quietly, conscious of TenTen who asleep in the bed on the other side of the room._

"_Did you all get drunk?"_

"_Yeah," she gave a wry laugh. "Kin was our designated driver, so…"_

"_Oh," I said, turning to leave. "I'll call you later."_

_I left before she could say anything. I left before I could say anything._

_Kin was sitting out in the living room looking incredibly tired. She'd turned the TV on and when she saw me, she patted the empty spot next to her on the couch. I complied, knowing that she knew I wanted to talk about Ino._

"_Does she get drunk a lot?" I asked, scraping the nail polish off of my fingernails. It had been chipping for over two weeks. I was far too lazy to go buy polish remover. I was just going to make sure I wouldn't sleep through Karin painting my nails and putting post it notes on me ever again._

"_Not a lot… just, you know, every once and a while."_

_I frowned at that answer, not relating at all. I drank too, but I was responsible, and I've hardly ever gotten incredibly drunk and hung-over._

"_And," I swallowed once again, "the hickies?"_

_Kin frowned, "I don't know if I should tell you. Ino says you have quite the temper."_

"_I need to know." I was trembling. I felt terrible inside. I didn't need to know, I already knew._

"_I'm sorry," Kin said, watching me closely. "She was making out with some guy at the party. I don't know him. I'm not really sure if she does either. But, she was drunk, so please, don't be so upset."_

_I stood up and walked into the kitchen to pick up the discarded flowers. I set them on the table and then left._

I didn't talk to Ino for two whole days. I guess she wanted to give me room, but I didn't want that. I was too stubborn to let her know that, though, so I didn't call or text her. When I finally did, I was hoping to get around to inviting her to my dad's wedding, but all I got was news that she was at the beach with friends and wasn't planning on getting back until the day before break ended.

That was why I was by myself, on my bed, feeling like shit.

The good thing was, no one was paying any attention to me because they were all so wrapped up in wedding shenanigans.

Or so I had thought until I heard a knocking on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I mumbled.

I was surprised, but delighted to see Rina standing there. She smiled at me and came in, shutting the door behind her. (1)

"Hey you," she said, "I'm spending the night."

"What, really?" I was excited; glad I had someone around all of a sudden.

"Yeah," she smiled. "Not to make you feel like a loser or anything, but your dad called, asking me to come over and hang out with you for a few days because you were feeling bad about something."

Suddenly embarrassed, I looked away. My face felt really hot.

"That was… thoughtful of him," I muttered sarcastically.

Rina set down her bag and flopped down onto the bed next to me.

"Yeah, incredibly thoughtful granted that he's getting married tomorrow—he's got lots on his mind. He loves you a lot, you know."

"I know," I sighed.

I glanced over at her and her beautiful brown eyes were narrowed in a smile.

"So, we're going to get you all prettied up for the wedding tomorrow morning," she said. "I can't wait to see you in a dress."

I groaned, rolling over and I felt her tug on my ear playfully.

"Come on, it won't be so bad. I'm sure you'll look gorgeous."

I blushed and sighed, "Whatever."

Silence met us again and Rina let it be, just resting on my bed behind me. I sat there wondering if she had abandoned anything important to be with me.

"You didn't have to cancel any dates or anything, did you?"

"What?"

"You know, fun stuff."

She laughed and replied rather thoughtfully, "Well, I did have to cancel my cello lesson."

"Cello? You play the cello?" I sat up, confused, never knowing that.

"Yeah, I've been playing since I was six. I don't usually do it during the school year because I never have time though."

"That's so cool. You'll have to play for me sometime," I suggested. She blushed and shrugged and I smirked at her.

"Hey, thanks for coming. I was worried I'd just be lying around all day, upset about Ino."

"What happened with Ino?" the fiery concern in her eyes worried me and I shrugged it off.

"Nothing big. She just can't make it, that's all."

"Oh, hmm," she bit her lip a bit thinking. "Well, consider me your replacement date for your dad's big day."

I smiled at her, "Thanks."

We spent the day catching up and sharing what had been going on. I ended up giving her a detailed account abut what happened with Ino. We hung out and around town all day, stuffing our faces with junk food and ice cream and we even stopped by the violin and guitar shop downtown where they had a host of random stringed instruments, cellos included, and she played a bit for me.

She was wonderful. I was totally impressed, but she blushed and brushed off her talent just as she usually did.

We got home early and found the house empty. Both my dad and Anko were out at a hotel. They weren't supposed to see one another before the wedding. My mom called, to check up on me probably, but once again I didn't answer. I couldn't answer…

"Do you ever answer when she calls?" Rina asked me as we were watching a movie while lying on my bed.

"No."

"Are you still mad at her?"

"No."

And it was the honest truth. I felt like her presence was just as normal to me as the frogs croaking during the hot, damp summer nights. Startling at first, but then something normal. I'd gotten used to her, I just didn't want to talk about what she wanted to talk about. I didn't want to talk about my past… That was gone. I wanted to talk about now, and if at all possible, I wanted some advice about how to deal with Ino and her bad habits. But she wouldn't want to talk about that. I could tell from the way she reacted when I mentioned I was gay that she wasn't very approving.

"Then why not?"

"I just… I'm not used to her, that's all. Do you know how long it took me to get used to you? It's like that… except worse, because I'm on guard because she hurt me before… And… I mentioned Ino to her, and she gave me this disapproving look."

Rina didn't reply, once again, and I turned my head to look at her. I caught her staring at me and she blushed and looked back over to the TV. I knew exactly what she was thinking—that Ino didn't treat me right and that she didn't deserve me and that she could treat me so much better. All of that seemed to be right, except, I loved Ino. I would always love Ino, and as I realized before, perhaps she didn't love me back, but I'd work hard to make her do so.

Rina glanced back over at me, catching me staring this time and I chuckled before looking back at the TV. Some game show that took place in a library was on. It was semi-intriguing, yet it wasn't incredibly interesting. Some parts were funny, some parts were stupid, and some parts were agitating. (2)

I decided the show wasn't worth my time and went ahead and set my alarm for the night. Rina sighed and shut her eyes, signaling to me that she wasn't planning on moving into the guest room. I tore my eyes away from her lips, fighting against my deprivation of sexual activity. I'd be faithful to Ino, even if she wasn't to me. I wasn't drunk, anyways. I didn't want to live with guilt. If there was anything I couldn't stand, it was guilt.

I made myself comfortable underneath the comforter and Rina followed suite, draping her arm across my waist and pulling me close into a spooning position.

"You're not trying to seduce me, are you?" I asked her, giving her a silly look as I craned my neck to stare out into the dark at my ceiling.

"Damn, how'd you know," I jumped when I felt her bite my ear and she laughed. I laughed too and sighed, glad she was still my friend, despite her attraction to me.

It didn't take me long to fall asleep. I was worried I'd be up all night worrying about the festivities for the following day, but I fell asleep instantly.

* * *

1- Rina is a master at teleporting into peoples' houses. JK, the front door was open.  
2- Silent Library. It has its redeemable points.

**A/N: Is Ino driving you crazy? Yes? Good. Is Sakura seeming uncharacteristically mellow to you? Yes? Well that's because she's willing to overlook Ino's flaws because she loves her so much, and she just wants a chance. Anywas, t****he story is coming to an end. I'm in the process of writing the final chapter (Chapter 25) and I can say with full confidence that even I didn't know what I was doing with the story up until the point of the end of chapter 24. Anyways, let me know what you think of this chapter and where you expect (or want) the story to go. There's always the possibility I can make revisions to the plot before posting!**

**Thank you for reading, please review.  
-E.E.**


	22. I Like Rina

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 22: I Like Rina**

I was once again lying in bed, restless. Rina was asleep beside me and had been sleeping for about an hour now. She fell asleep as soon as we got back at around 3AM. She kicked off her heels, I helped her out of her dress, and she slipped into the PJs she brought with her. As soon as she touched the bed, she was out. I didn't blame her—it had been a long day.

In fact, I was equally tired, but I couldn't sleep. I could never sleep, not with so many thoughts in my head. Perhaps I could get dressed again and head back to the after party to get drunk as hell. That would knock me out.

No, I quickly decided against that. Having Rina cuddled up against me was better than that. I'd sleep as soon as I sorted through my thoughts. Sometimes it took a good, long thinking to really wear me out. I mulled over math questions from my Linear Algebra class very briefly, getting bored with that quickly. My thoughts soon found themselves on my father and stepmom, Anko. Their wedding had been a bit unconventional. They guys hadn't worn tuxes; they'd worn cute suspenders and hats, like a barbershop quartet. My dad's white button up was rolled up to his elbows. Brown corduroy pants, black suspenders, and red bowties had been the trend. He wore a black top hat just to do so. (1)

My fellow bridesmaids and I were wearing red dresses (which totally clashed with my hair) and black shoes, all of different makes. The only thing that united us was the color.

It was incredibly weird, but I liked it. The two were playful.

Anko liked it too. The look she had been giving him all night… She really loved him. I was so amazed, so jealous, that he had found someone who would look at him like that—someone who would return the looks he had been giving her.

He loved her and she loved him. They loved one another.

I was incredibly happy for them. Even more so when I saw Anko walk out in her cute, white, cocktail-wedding dress hybrid. She was beyond beautiful. She kept crying. All she could do was cry.

That happiness that I had seen, it had scared me, really. I'd never seen two people so in love. In fact, it was the first time I had seen anything like that. When he gathered her up in his arms and kissed her… I felt my heart stutter. I knew I had seen something precious. Love like that was rare.

With this revelation, I knew that it was merely fate that had taken my mother away. If she had stuck around, we wouldn't have Anko in our lives and my dad wouldn't have found love the way he had.

And with that brief thought of my mom, all I could do was think of her. She looked torn between happy and remorseful. She realized what she had lost, and she had found me during the reception and unloaded that burden onto me.

_I was standing next to Rina, outside in front of the hotel lobby. It was way too warm inside, or perhaps my body heat had permanently shot up for the night. I was sipping wine, not really enjoying its taste, but enjoying its comfort. Rina was humming some k-pop song next to me, smiling gently at nothing in particular. She always seemed happy… I wish I could have that, that perpetual happiness._

_She was holding her shoes in her hands, having declared that her feet were hurting and she was in no mood to tear all of the ligaments in her ankles. I followed suit, glad she had proposed the removal of the evil stilts. All night, she had showered me with compliments about my bridesmaid dress, and how beautiful I looked. I had returned her compliments politely, not bothering to refute them. I had no desire to send her on spiel about my "natural beauty" or whatever else it was she thought I had._

"_Oh, Sakura, you look gorgeous."_

_I was startled by her voice and turned to see my mom standing there behind me in a very pretty blue dress. It matched her eyes. Her red hair was flowing down her back in beautiful ringlets and her make up was flawless. The woman who had done her make-up had done mine as well, for free. It was a gift from her to Anko. A professional make-up artist had done all of the bridesmaids' make-up, and of course Anko's as well._

_Rina looked at me briefly, and I knew she was going to leave me alone with her. I silently pleaded with my eyes that she didn't, but she did anyways._

"_I'm going to go get some punch," she said before prancing back inside the hotel._

"_Fuck," I muttered and my mom chuckled._

"_You're so much like your dad."_

"_Who else am I supposed to be like?"_

_She frowned, but continued anyways, as if I hadn't said that._

"_Your dad was the first boy I liked, ever. I met him in middle school."_

_I was curious, because I had never heard the story of how they met, but at the same time I didn't want to hear. It was irrelevant now._

"_He was rough around the edges, and I think that's what attracted me to him. He was rough, but he was sweet, and he was incredibly smart too. He just didn't like to show it."_

"_Smart enough to get you pregnant," I muttered and she sighed._

_I took a seat on the bench outside, not really wanting to stand through a long story. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Rina talking to some random guy, and shooting us uncomfortable glances through the glass doors. So much for getting something to drink, she was too busy flirting! Well, she obviously wasn't flirting, but that's what she got for leaving me here with my mom._

"_Well, I'm happy to see you here. I just wish… I hadn't had you so soon. I wish I could've had you later, with your dad, and that I could've been there for you."_

"_Mom," I addressed her and she noticed that I had called her mom for the first time since she had returned. "Look, let's not get into this right now. I'm tired, I haven't heard from my girlfriend in days, and my feet hurt. Not to mention, it's that time of month. Please, don't irritate me right now."_

_She only smiled in a pained way and breathed deeply, pursing her lips a bit. Her eyes became very wet all of a sudden and she sifted through her bag to find some tissues._

"_I really missed out. You're a wonderful girl, Sakura. I regret everything that happened between us. I'm so sorry. I see now that you're all grown up, and there really isn't anything left for me to do. Your dad did a wonderful job with you."_

_I thought back to my childhood and realized my dad did work extra hard to keep me happy, which was indeed a job. All I did was cry after mom left. I stopped talking and I would cry silently for hours. Then, I discovered books. Books filled the emptiness within me with their optimistic words and tantalizing stories. I lost track of reality for years and was suddenly jolted back by a blonde haired, blue-eyed princess who was determined to be my friend again and make me happy (by giving me a make-over and making me pretty)._

_I didn't want to be pretty, though. I had grown up with my dad. I was the ultimate tomboy, and I was all for jeans, every day. But Ino had always had that aura about her, and I couldn't resist. I couldn't say no. We grew so close… I guess I had my mom to thank for that. Her absence led me to Ino. For that, I would be forever grateful._

_I looked up to see my mom dabbing the tears away from her eyes. I still had trouble getting over how beautiful she was. Would I ever look anything like her?_

"_I won't ever forgive myself for leaving you guys. I should've tried harder to help myself."_

_And when she broke down, my eyes began to water as well. I looked away awkwardly, feeling nothing but terrible at that moment. I turned back to her, and awkwardly wrapped my arms around her in a comforting way. I didn't say anything, and when she was done crying, I got up and left. I didn't know what to say._

_I made my way back into the reception hall, and found my dad, sitting next to his new wife, talking to guests. He looked super tired, but there was no denying the happiness in his eyes. I made my way up to him and politely cut in._

"_Sakura," he said with a smile._

"_Hey, um… I'm really tired, so I'm going to go ahead and head back home, ok?"_

"_Ok… is Rina going back with you? You've been drinking, haven't you?"_

"_I don't know, I didn't ask. And yeah, but I'm not drunk or anything."_

"_Sakura…"_

"_Dad, I'll be fine," I attempted to argue._

"_I'll get one of the guys to drive you."_

"_Oh, no need for that, Mr. Haruno," Rina seemed to pop out of nowhere. I sighed, tiredly, and gave her a sideways glance._

"_I haven't been drinking at all," she continued, "I'll drive us back."_

_My dad offered Rina his handsome crooked smile and then nodded goodbye to us and sending us off, but not before pulling me close and kissing me on the cheek. His nicely groomed mustache had tickled my cheek, but I kept in my impulsive giggle and followed Rina to her car._

_I didn't say anything as we drove back, sinking into a strange mood._

_Rina was too tired to talk, and as she was settling in bed, she assured me that we would talk the following morning._

That was why I couldn't sleep. As I saw my mom, I saw myself. Not ill with mental disease (though, I could see that happening), but in love with someone who didn't share that love. It scared me to think that I could love her so much, and she didn't love me nearly as much. The idea itself was enough to make me feel incredibly depressed.

I ended up not sleeping at all that night. I took a shower, grabbed a cup of coffee, and then read books until the sun rose (which wasn't too long after we arrived home, granted we did get home very late). I was well into a favorite of mine, _Me Talk Pretty One Day,(2) _when I heard Rina stirring. I turned to look at her and found her alert and awake—no doubt she had been awake for a while. Her right eyebrow popped up in concern and she frowned.

"You don't look so good."

"Gee, thanks," I mumbled and she sat up. When she did so, she saw the small pile of books sitting on my nightstand.

"Did you sleep at all, Sakura?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just can't," I mumbled.

I got out of bed and went downstairs, aware that no one was home but Rina and myself. I started making breakfast and Rina joined me about 45 minutes later, bathed and dressed. She offered to help, but I told her I didn't want any. She attempted to get me to talk multiple times, but I told her I didn't feel like it, not in the most polite way either.

We sat down to eat, and I could see that she was incredibly vexed by my attitude. She looked up at me, then shook her head and took a breath.

"Sakura, look, I don't know why you're all pissy and moody, but I'm just trying to help. "

"Fuck! What is your problem? I said I didn't want to talk. Can't you just leave me the fuck alone!" I exploded at her, throwing down my fork and stalking off upstairs and into my room. I locked the door and sat against it, fuming in anger. Why was I angry? I didn't know, but anger was all I could feel at that moment. Was it normal to become angry so sporadically? I sat and sorted through possible reasons, and I settled upon three that went hand in hand: my lack of sleep, Mother Nature's montly gift, and lack of contact with Ino.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, but when I finally got up and went back downstairs, I found that Rina was gone. Her car was gone, but she had left her things in my room. Perhaps she'd come back… I hoped she'd come back. I didn't want to spend the remainder of my spring break alone. Dad and Anko would be leaving for their honeymoon later that day.

Feeling frustrated and hopeless, I shoved my feet into my tennis shoes and went out for a run. As I was running, instead of feeling better, I began to feel worse. I felt my emotions seep out into my limbs, and they became heavy and numb. I was dragging along by the thirty-minute mark, and minutes after that was when I collapsed. I blacked out immediately afterwards.

I dreamt of Ino, returning to me, asking forgiveness for her infidelity. Of course I accepted her apology and then she cried and told me that she loved me and that she was sorry for everything she'd put me through. It was just as she was about to kiss me—that's when I woke up.

I was jolted from sleep due to a stinging pain near my temple. I split my eyes open to see a blurry image slide into place. I saw blonde hair and blue eyes and was momentarily stunned until I got a better picture. Temari? What was going on?

I groaned, swallowing the spit in my mouth only to find that it was blood and the left side of my tongue was on fire. In fact, all I could feel was the pain there. The rest of my tongue seemed to be an extension of that pain. Shutting my mouth gently, due to the swollen muscle, I reached up to touch my stinging face to only have Temari swat my hand away.

"Stop it," she barked, and I did as she asked. She pressed a bloody cloth to my head again, causing it to sting and ache, but I kept still and quiet. The sharp scent of alcohol filled my nose as my eyes began to sting due to the fumes on the cloth. I clenched my eyes shut and suddenly felt the pounding headache in my head.

I wanted to ask her what she was doing there, and how she'd found my house and gotten into it, but I said nothing. As she finally dabbed scar ointment on my face and placed a large Band-Aid over the wound, I realized me passing out on pavement with an overall forward motion couldn't have been a good thing.

"I was coming to find you, and I saw you all passed out on the sidewalk."

"Find me?"

"Yeah, Rina said you were having a shitty spring break, and that you needed company."

"Rina," I began, feeling blood seep into my mouth from a gaping wound on my tongue. I'd probably bitten it open when I fell. Just great, I thought sarcastically, because it hurt like hell.

"Where is she?"

"She's on her way."

"From where?"

"The store."

That didn't even make sense, so I said nothing. Why would Rina go to store after I cussed her out and treated her badly? (3)

Temari began to stroke my head, running her fingers through my hair, but I didn't have the energy to push her away. It felt good anyways, and it lessened my headache, just a little. She had a way with her hands—a way I wouldn't get into specifically—she was very gentle when she needed to be.

"I like her."

My eyes, which had been drooping shut, snapped open. Who? What was she talking about? I must've been giving her a look because she smirked at me.

"Rina. I like Rina." (4)

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know… she cares a lot about you. I figured I should tell you, because you two are really close."

"Fuck you Temari."

She rolled her eyes at me and kept running her hands through my hair.

"I don't think you have a concussion. You face was only scraped up. I don't think you hit your head hard at all. Just go to sleep, ok? We'll argue about this later. Stupid bitch." [5]

I laughed at her, regretting it immediately. Blood slipped out of my mouth. Would my tongue stop bleeding?

"You won't win," I managed to sigh before slipping into a deep sleep as she wiped at my mouth with the cloth.

* * *

1- I lurk about on photography websites and I've recently gotten into wedding photography (don't judge me) and I always see the most bizzare, yet cute things. This is one of them.  
2- "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris. A book worth being bought. :3  
3- Where was Rina? Getting snacks, so they could watch movies later. haha, how cute.  
4- This is where the title came from. I hope I confused you for a bit there. That was my intention. :P  
[5]- This isn't a legitimate footnote, but whenever I hear the phrase "Stupid bitch" I think of these 3 videos I watched on YouTube in which a sassy gay man was inserted into Shakespearean plays. They're called "Sassy Gay Friend" and the videos are hilarious.

**A/N: And so it continues. Sakura's having no fun, and Temari likes Rina. Next update in a few days. Until then, please tell me what you think.**

**Thank you for reading, please review,  
E.E.**


	23. Devoted

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There is also a mention of "sexy time" in here, so be warned. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 23: Devoted**

I woke up.

It was dark out.

My tongue was hurting me more than my head was. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to rinse the blood from my mouth with water. I followed that up with mouthwash. I knew it was going to sting, but it was worse than I had expected. My whole mouth went numb, and I didn't manage to keep the cleaning liquid in for even ten seconds. I repeated the process, determined to not get an infection.

I looked in the mirror to see that blood had soaked through the bandaid. I removed it and cleaned the wound again, before applying a new bandaid.

I made my way downstairs, very slowly, as to not agitate my head. I heard hushed voices arguing over something in the living room.

"You don't know that," I heard Rina whisper harshly.

"Why the fuck do you think she went to the beach without inviting Sakura?" Temari countered.

"You don't know that," Rina countered again.

"If I was going to the beach with my friends, my girlfriend would come along, regardless of whether or not my friends knew her. And if they didn't want her to come, then I'd just go with her, by myself."

"Temari makes a valid point," another voice noted. Was that Shikamaru?

"Shika, don't side with her!" Rina argued rather weakly.

"Why do you care anyways? Don't you like Sakura? They'll probably break up after this," he continued.

"Look, Ino makes Sakura happy. I don't know how, but she does. And that's all I want for her, ok? For her to be happy."

"You need to be more assertive," Shikamaru said with a subsequent yawn. "You're letting a slut get away with your dream girl."

"Don't talk about Ino like that. She's a nice girl… She's just confused, that's all," Rina defended once more.

"So are you," I heard Temari say. I decided to step in before any sort of altercation could arise from this.

"Hey," I muttered, not wanting to move my mouth much at all. Rina hopped up and over to me, gently wrapping her arm around my side to guide me to the couch.

"How are you feeling," she asked.

I gazed into her big brown eyes and she blushed.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling tears fill my eyes. "I was such an asshole."

"It's ok," she mumbled, smiling just a bit. I sighed, feeling the weight of her adoration settle on my shoulders. I didn't want to ruin this friendship.

"So, sleeping beauty has arisen," Temari said, checking her phone for the time. "You were knocked out for about nine hours."

"Rina, what are you doing," I paused due to the pain in my tongue. "…hanging out with Temari?"

"Sakura, let's not talk about this right now," she said. "Do you want some pain killers?"

I nodded my response, wishing I were sleeping again. This pain was unbearable.

Shikamaru and Temari ended up spending the night, keeping Rina and I company. I was glad to see Shikamaru, but I wished I had alone time with him to talk about Ino. He'd be frank and tell me what I needed to know, not what I wanted to hear. Temari was alright; I was annoyed with her constant flirting with Rina, but the cute, black haired girl paid her no attention. She insisted I rested my head in her lap and I let her play with my hair. She did so wantonly, and the random movement of her fingers through my hair was calming.

I remember falling asleep on the couch, with my head in her lap, while they watched a movie. When I woke up, I was in my bed. Alone.

I took a shower and dressed my wounds, thoroughly inspecting my tongue. Stiches would help it's healing… it really was a nasty bite, but I didn't necessarily need them. I headed downstairs to search for my guests.

We spent the last day of spring break just being lazy around the house, much to Shikamaru's enjoyment. It was relaxing and I would dare say fun. I had forgotten how… well, how cool Temari was. She wasn't so bad when she wasn't out to ruin my love life.

School started up again, and I didn't bother with seeking Ino out. When she wanted to talk, we'd talk. I had resigned myself to the possibility of her not wanting to be with me, but my avoidance was less of an act of maturity from me and more of an act evasion. I didn't want to talk to her only to hear that she wanted to break up. I did love her, and her suggesting that would leave me hurt very deeply. I wouldn't be the same without her. And I know that sounds strange, granted that I hadn't talked to her in a while, but her being away just made me want her more. I couldn't explain it.

One day, Ino called me a number of times throughout the day. I was too afraid to answer the calls. Feeling rather useless, I went on a run and returned for a shower. The shower was a quick one, and I returned to my room fresh and rather content. I'd been thinking about the things I could possibly say to Ino while I was in the shower. What I could say to make her stay, what I could say to let her know how I felt. How I could keep in my anger at her infidelity… Everything had seemed too possible, but that was before I returned to my dorm room to find Ino sitting on my bed.

"Does Karin ever clean her side of the room?" she asked me with a hesitant smile.

"How did you get in here?" I asked her, without smiling, genuinely a bit worried about how she'd entered my room when it had been locked before. I locked the door by habit and I continued giving her a confused look. Her smile faltered and she looked away.

"I ran into Karin on the way here. She let me borrow her key because I wanted to surprise you," she showed me Karin's key and I pursed my lips. It wasn't until then that I felt my heart beating so hard I thought it was in my head instead of my chest.

"Oh," I said, reaching up to tuck some damp pink hair behind my ear.

"Take a seat?" she requested, patting the space on my bed right next to her.

I did so stiffly, worried about what was to come next. Her hand touched my arm, and I flinched. I let go of a deep, quivering breath and Ino smiled a strained smile at me gently, with tears in her eyes. She handed me a small box of chocolates.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, before burying her face into my shoulder.

What? That was it?

No way I was going to take that ridiculously pathetic apology. She'd abandoned me, ignored me, cheated on me; and that was supposed to suffice? She wasn't pleading at my feet for me to forgive her, and she wasn't begging me not to leave her because of her lack of commitment. No way in fucking hell! I didn't even like candy, anyways! (1)

Well, that was what I was thinking until I felt her nip at my neck.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura," she mumbled against my skin. Her hot breath and warm lips melted my senses. I brought a shaky arm up to hold her and I felt her smile against my neck.

"I know this isn't the right time for this at all, but—"

"Shh," she interrupted, before taking her hand to guide my lips to hers. Our kiss was sloppy and somewhat absent minded. I kissed her again, never ending anything with a sloppy kiss and before I knew it, we were lying in my bed, making out. It was sudden, and not at all what I had expected to happen between us, but it did. Her tongue eagerly probed my mouth, and I was happy to be rid of the wound on my tongue. I don't think we could've been doing what we were doing a week ago, with my tongue still bleeding and hurting.

Ino tasted so good—she always tasted good to me.

I wondered briefly about what Karin's reaction would be if she walked in on Ino and me with our tongues shoved into one anothers' mouths, but that thought was demolished as soon as I felt Ino's hand on my chest. Was she groping me? She'd _never_ done that before.

I pulled away to give her a confused look, but the lust in her eyes shattered that confusion and any sort of sense I had in me.

I remembered locking the door anyways.

What happened next was a little too fast for my taste, but it was… memorably mind-blowing. I wouldn't ever forget it, I was sure. She was incredibly attentive to my breasts, and I was a bit self-conscious granted that they were nowhere near the size of hers but she said nothing about them at all. In fact, I could easily say she enjoyed their small size.

Ino was unbelievably gentle with me, despite the fact that she was demanding. I, on the other hand, was clumsy and rough, having wanted what was occurring between us for far too long. I was sure I left bruises everywhere along her smooth, beach tanned skin. The feel of her strong legs wrapped tightly around me drove me insane and I could barely keep from climaxing when I did, my hips pressing against hers feverishly. Ino followed soon after, breathing heavily and sighing my name. I couldn't breathe for a moment, and my throat closed up on me as pleasure washed over me, wave by wave.

I lay in my bed with Ino, breathing deeply for a while after that, finally able to catch my breath. I dusted kisses across her smooth skin, caressing her gently, as if to apologize for my rough handling of her. We were both awake, but we were both breathless and I couldn't possibly think of any words to describe how I felt.

I supposed that was what people liked to call "make up sex"… It was fantastic.

Smugly, I wrapped my arms around Ino, admiring her pretty blue eyes. Eyes like a cloudless summer day. Eyes that drew me in and made me feel like I was floating. Eyes that I loved and adored.

"I love you," I finally decided to say. I felt my face flush, once again that night, but for a more sentimental reason. I couldn't keep it in. I couldn't just sit back and not tell her how I felt. No, not after that.

She looked at me, and smiled hesitantly.

"I love you too," she said, and tears filled her eyes.

I sighed contently, kissed her once more on the lips, and shut my eyes.

"You know, we need to get up and get dressed. You _will_ have to let Karin in when she knocks on the door."

"I know," I sighed, running my fingers through her tangled blonde hair. Her face was still flushed and sweaty. I admired her after exertion, reveling in the tired look she was giving me.

I lay there for a few moments, basking the afterglow of our love making, before I heaved a heavy sigh and got out of bed. I handed Ino her clothes and got dressed quickly, not wanting to have to explain to Karin why we were naked. I opened up the window and looked out of it blankly, lost in the haze of my mind.

Ino sure had her ways.

Days ago, I wouldn't have ever thought I'd just let Ino return to me that way. But, damn, that didn't matter. I loved her. I would always let her back—welcome her with open arms.

And she said she loved me. I really could've died when she replied to me that way. It was unexpected, but "absence makes the heart grow fonder," they say. I wasn't going to question that.

Ino snaked her arms around my waist and kissed my neck gently. I tilted my head to give her more access and she sighed against my skin. She was silent for a long while, and I felt her shifting behind me. That was a nervous tendency of hers—to shift about on her legs—it wasn't very obvious at all, but I was super observant of her. Call me obsessive, but I knew all of her habits.

"You know, a long time ago… I walked in on my dad in bed with a woman that wasn't my mom."

I tensed at hearing this, finding it odd she was telling me, and feeling slightly uncomfortable with the topic of infidelity.

"Neither he nor the woman knew I had seen them… I struggled for days over whether or not to tell my mom, or confront my dad about what had happened. I eventually decided not to say anything. They were both happy, right? That's all that mattered, right?"

She paused before continuing, "Eventually, my mom found out and my parents argued and argued, until my mom just up and left one night."

I gently slipped my arms over hers, which were still wrapped around my body. Her skin was warm and damp.

"I felt like I had ruined their relationship by not telling my mom, or telling my dad he should stop his affair. I was so depressed, Sakura. I didn't have any faith in anyone or in anything—especially not relationships. I wanted… I wanted to kill myself. My mom had left, and I felt like it was my fault."

A draft blew in from outside, and it was a warm draft. Feeling uncomfortable with that, I locked the window and turned to face Ino, still in her arms. She rested her head on my chest and I felt very self-conscious, knowing she was hearing my erratic heat beat—this ridiculous tempo she set my heart to.

"But, maybe a week or so later, she came back, and I was so happy. She came back to him and she forgave him, and they've had the strongest relationship ever. Of course, the first few months back were hard. And now that I think about it, I remember them sleeping in separate rooms for a while… but eventually things returned to how they were… possibly even better."

She stopped talking, and I digested everything very slowly. I had never known Mr. and Mrs. Yamanaka had had some marriage problems. They seemed so… devoted to one another, and their family. I couldn't imagine it.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I want you to forgive me, and I want this to work between us."

"Ino," I chuckled awkwardly. "Everything is obviously fine," I said giving her hips a squeeze. I had definitely had the best sex of my life, and I had shared that moment with her… Everything had to be fine, right?

"No, Sakura, not that… the things I've done… This spring break, I haven't… I haven't been faithful to you."

I sighed, having my worries fall from her mouth. I had known this, but I was willing to overlook this. To have her say it was… well; it was a whole different situation.

I sighed, feeling somewhat defeated. The amorous excitement caused by the sex had suddenly disappeared. Once again, we were having problems in our relationship. This wasn't turning out at all how I had planned. It didn't seem like Ino was making any effort at all.

"So why this? Why now?" I muttered, attempting to keep my anger in. It was oozing through the cracks of my resolve, burning everything it touched—lava seeping through the earth's crust. I was mad at her. Ino was always like that—she'd do something nice for you; make everything seem ok—and then she'd unload the most depressing and heartbreaking information on you. That's what this was. Sex and then news that I just didn't want to hear. Somewhere inside, I knew that she had planned this from the beginning, and I hurt. But that hurt didn't stay as a passive, pathetic feeling for long. It soon morphed into anger; all I knew was anger.

"I'm sorry," she said, and her pleading blue eyes were wet with tears.

"That's it? That's all? 'I'm sorry'?" I mocked. "Ino, do you even understand how much I love you, and how much you've been hurting me?"

She flinched and heaved a heavy sigh.

"There isn't anything more for me to say…" she replied defiantly. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she glared weakly at me.

"Like hell there isn't! How about, 'I'm sorry I'm such a slut. I really do love you, and I promise this won't ever happen again'!"

"Don't call me a slut!" she yelled at me, the sorrow in her eyes becoming livid anger.

"What else should I call you? My faithful girlfriend, who loves me? Do you even love me?" I pushed her away from me feeling sick all of a sudden.

"No!"

My whole body tensed up in pain. 'No'? Had she really uttered that word? I attempted, in all possible ways I could, to some how make it seem like I had merely had a slip of hearing; that I hadn't heard her correctly.

My eyes took in the shadows on her rumpled shirt. The shirt I had bunched in my fists moments that had long passed. The shirt that I had helped her out of. The shirt that she wore, removed, and then put back on.

"W-what?" I stuttered, my eyes suddenly filling with tears.

"I… I don't love you," she mumbled.

"But… why did you…?" I stopped, shaking my head. "I don't believe that. You're just mad at me, because I'm mad and yelling at you."

As I reasoned, Ino merely shook her head. Her eyes met mine, and I knew she wasn't lying.

And for what felt like the hundredth time, I felt my heart break. Emptiness filled me to the brim, and I knew it would be mere moments until it consumed me, sucked me in like a black hole, growing stronger and more massive with each passing moment.

* * *

1- Candy is great and all, but Sakura rarely eats it. She doesn't have much of a sweet tooth.

**A/N: Gah this chapter is sad, right? :( And sorry about the not-so-much-of-a-lemon. I can't write about "sexy time" to save my life XD so for now, brief allusions with limited details will have to suffice. Oh, and for those of you who were curious about Ino's desire of suicide near the beginning of the story, this is it. She was guilty! See, she's human, she experiences guilt. Don't hate her, she's not so bad. I promise.**

**Oh, and this is totally random, but an anonymous review said something about my writing being a bit ramble-y. lol, well, I just write like that, and I upped the rambling for this story because it did start out as a homage to the "stream-of-consciousness" novels I've read. (If you don't know what it is, look it up). However, stream-of-consciousness is a style that's incredibly difficult to replicate (we can't all write like William Faulkner and Virginia Woolf v_v), especially with the stories being structured by chapters here on FF. So, I've kept the "stream" light, but enough to know that that's still the story's format. Anyways, I'm sure that reviewer will enjoy my upcoming story. And with that said, the poll is closed on my profile and the results are visible.**

**Anyways, thank you for reading. This chapter was one of the ones that got edited a trillion times in one spot lol. It's one of those turning point chapters... anyways, you'll see what I'm talking about later. Thank you for reading, and please review-reviews are what keep me from being lazy and remind me to edit the next chapter and upload it.****  
-E.E.**


	24. Ever Since the Breakup

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 24: Ever Since the Breakup**

There were lots of them. Hundreds, perhaps even more.

Crooked, imperfect lines of them. They scrambled and zigzagged, following one another blindly in every which direction.

Watching them made my skin crawl.

The secret ant-superhighway. I should've been awed by their numbers and system, their cooperation, but instead I was disgusted. Who gave a fuck what they were doing or where they were going?

Out of boredom and cruelness, I made sure I stepped on as many little black ants as I could as I walked towards the dorm. I'd been here many times, to this cluttered, busy campus. I had sworn more than ever as I was deterred time and time again while attempting to find parking.

Fuck this university.

I was just about to open the door to the tall dorm building, but someone beat me to it. Out came Rina wearing a gray pleated skirt and a purple tank top, revealing the birthmark I'd forgotten she had on her shoulder. She said nothing, but smiled at me, and linked arms with me and pulled me along. I complied, walking with her silently.

As I realized we were just going to go for a walk I let myself relax and fall into her rhythm. Rina always knew how to calm me down… I didn't quite understand it.

Aside from being with my best friend, everything else seemed rather dull and unentertaining. The whole university seemed to be jammed into a space five times too small for it, and the sidewalks were just as cluttered as the roads and parking situation. The buses ran about too much, blocking off the already small and cluttered roads and they were incredibly noisy (not to mention the rank scent of their exhaust; I was sure that was why my eyes were stinging the way they had been ever since I had made my way onto this campus).

I insisted we stop and get something to drink and Rina thought that was a great idea, leading me to where her favorite smoothie shop was. I proposed that I bought Rina hers and she blushed and smiled and said it was alright, and that I didn't need to buy anything for her. I reiterated my desire to buy hers and then she argued that they were rather large and we could share one. I shrugged at the idea, not really caring. I didn't know what kind to get anyways.

We settled at a table alternatively taking sips from our straws of the strawberry-mango smoothie. It was really good and I was glad that she decided to get that flavor.

"Didn't you say we were meeting up with Shikamaru and Temari soon for dinner or something?"

"Yes," she smiled. "Where do you want to eat?"

I glared at her.

"You know I don't like making decisions," I huffed. "I can't decide. I'll go where you want to go."

"But, I thought we decided we're going where you want…" she gave me a slight smile and I smiled back at her.

"Yeah, well, I guess we'll just play nose-goes when we meet up with everyone," I smirked at her and she frowned.

"But Sakura… I'm supposed to… well, cheer you up."

"And I'll be super happy if you choose where we eat. It's not the food that'll make me feel better anyways. It's being with you and the others."

I frowned, feeling that gaping hole in my chest attempt to suck me in again. Taking a deep breath I sighed and absently took a sip of the smoothie.

"Are they meeting us here? Or are we meeting up with them elsewhere."

"I could ask them to meet us here. Give me a second," she gave me a sad, pitying smile and then proceeded to send a text on her phone.

Silence permeated the air between us, but as usual, it was a comfortable silence. Rina brushed back some of her silky black hair. It was getting longer. The edges were just brushing her shoulders now.

"Temari and I are dating."

I stopped sipping the smoothie and looked at her in surprise. What? Really? But…

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh, Sakura, I know, but… she's different now. And she makes me happy; isn't that what's important?"

I wanted to reply with, "Of course. As long as you're happy," but the bitter empty black hole singularity in my chest refused me this optimism, having greedily devoured it long ago.

"Sometimes, you can be so happy, you don't see what's wrong with the whole picture. Temari is a flirt and a cheater. I'm not going to let you get hurt without warning you. Fine, date her, whatever, but don't say I didn't warn you when she goes off to fuck some other girl or whatever," I said bitterly, wishing someone had had the balls to stand up to me like that when it came to Ino.

"Saku, she's changed," Rina smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

I scoffed, pushing the smoothie away from me. "I don't want anymore," I mumbled before snatching my straw out of it and chewing on it. (1)

"How long have you two been dating anyways?" I sighed. I did realize I had to be an adult and put up with their relationship reluctantly of course.

"About a week now," she smiled brightly. I couldn't deny her happiness, but… I was so untrusting of these things now. Relationships. Whatever you wanted to call them. What was there to them if someone could just fake love? How could you know if you were in a real relationship, or a fake one? Why did things like that even have to happen?

"I don't want to see you hurt," I said after a moment, truthfully.

"Oh, come on Sakura, are you really saying that? After all of this time; after what happened in high school?"

"I apologized for that. And honestly, there's worse pain than that, Rina. I don't want you to ever know that pain," I said to her running my hand through my hair a couple of times.

"What pain?" a voice sounded behind me.

It was Temari, of course. Shikamaru was taking his good old time, slowly making his way through the shop. When I didn't answer, Temari disregarded me and made her way over to Rina. She kissed her very briefly on the lips and gave her a wink. Rina blushed her cute blush and failed at stifling her smile. I glared at Temari and turned away from the two to call out to Shikamaru.

"Why the fuck do you walk so slowly?" I hissed at him.

"I'm in no rush, Pinky," he ruffled my hair and I swatted his hand away.

I said nothing and ventured into my mind. There were only a few thoughts bouncing about in there. I was trying to keep my mind as free as possible. No lapses into any memories or strange feelings. Just quick, brief thoughts. The first thing I was thinking about, was Ino of course. But I didn't want to dwell on the past—oh, it had only been a week—and so I quickly vanquished that thought. The next thought was on my suspicions of Temari's intentions. I did remember her saying she liked Rina a little while ago, but the way she said it… so nonchalantly… it didn't seem right. And Rina, that last comment she gave me… it seemed to me that she was trying to make me jealous, or perhaps make me wish I had taken her up on her offer instead of pursuing Ino.

It didn't make much sense to me. She had supported me all the way. She had comforted me and had stuck up for me. Why this, why now?

Feeling depression quickly seeping over me, I sighed to dispel the feeling. It seemed to only facilitate it more and I felt even worse than I had before. I wasn't in the mood to be around a new couple. I wasn't in the mood to put up with Shikamaru's annoyingly sluggish mannerisms. I wasn't in the mood for Rina's pitying looks and I certainly wasn't in the mood for Temari's smug smiles. The stupid smile she was giving me at that exact moment.

I stood up suddenly and the three of them looked at me, startled.

"Maybe… I should head home," I stumbled over my words. I was afraid they'd see the pain in my eyes.

"Aw, come on Saku," Rina exclaimed. "We were just deciding on where to eat. No need to get impatient."

I shrugged my shoulders and went outside. I stood there for a while, soaking up the unforgiving heat and sun. My skin was far too pale for me to be standing in the sun, but at that moment, I didn't really care. Perhaps that was why Ino didn't want me… my inability to have non-ghost-like skin.

Fuck, and there I went again. Thinking up ridiculous reasons why Ino didn't want me—reasons that all had to do with me, when I knew that our failed relationship was _her_ fault. There was no denying that.

I began to walk away.

"Hey," someone spoke. I disregarded the familiar voice, but flinched when she touched my elbow. Whipping around, I glared at her. Her deep blue eyes glared right back at me, but then she smiled gently. For the first time in a long while, I noticed Temari's smile and thought it to be cute.

Snatching my arm away from her, I walked off. I didn't know what she was planning with Rina, but I refused to show her any kind of kindness in hope of discouraging her.

"I got something in the mail," I heard her say from behind me. "For you."

At that, I stopped walking.

"It's from Ino," she finished. My heart ached strongly for a moment, but I turned to look at her, like the weakling I was. She dug into her pocket and unfolded an envelope. It looked like a letter. She closed the distance between us, held it out to me and I hesitantly took it. It had Temari's name and school address on the front. It was unopened.

"How do you know this is for me?" I asked her suspiciously.

"She called me and told me to give it to you when I had the chance."

I said nothing, but put the thing in one of my cargo shorts pockets.

"You know she's really sorry."

"No she's not," I muttered and Temari shook her head with a wry smile.

"Really, she is."

"It's too late for sorry," I huffed and Temari give me a strange look.

She gathered me up in her arms in an awkward hug. I struggled for a moment, but saw I wasn't going to get anywhere. Temari was stronger than me, at least, she was when she had her arms wrapped around me and I was weakened by heartbreak.

I began to cry, suddenly, and Temari rubbed my back and whispered comforting words into my ear. I finally began to calm down after a few minutes and I pulled away from her, muttering an embarrassed thanks. I wiped my face on the inside of the collar of my shirt and pinched the bridge of my nose to dispel my sudden headache briefly.

"I think I should go home," I mumbled to Temari and she quickly disagreed.

"Nah, you didn't come all of this way just to go as soon as you came," she reached for my hand and pulled me with her. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable with her holding my hand, I pulled it away from her. She smirked at my behavior.

In one swift movement, she had gathered me in her arms and had kissed me on the lips.

"You just let me know when you want me back," she whispered before kissing me again.

I pushed her away and she gave me a smug smile and turned around to walk back towards the storefront.

Who the fuck did she think she was? I stormed up to her, spun her around after grabbing her shoulder and punched her square in the face. (2) She fell onto the sidewalk cradling her face (probably her nose) groaning in pain. I looked up to see people were watching us and I looked to my left to see Rina and Shikamaru gaping at me through the storefront windows. Shikamaru shut his mouth and tugged at one of his small hoop earrings as Rina came scurrying out of the door to help Temari.

"Sakura, what the hell is your problem?" she screamed at me as she knelt down next to her girlfriend who had blood dripping off of her chin and hands and onto her shirt.

Knowing nothing I said would get to her I replied with, "Like you fucking care!"

I stormed off, before anyone could question me. Rina had never yelled at me like that. It was uncomfortable. I didn't like this situation at all.

I drove home absently, which wasn't safe in any way since I was on the highway for more than half of the trip. It was due to the strange calm that came after the excitement of being satisfied with a deed I'd done. When I got home, I found my dad cleaning up the kitchen.

"Back so soon?" he asked me as he put two cups into the sink. "What happened?"

"I punched Temari," I replied, feeling somewhat good about that, but at the same time, pissed off.

"What? Why? I thought you guys were cool again, or something like that," he replied, pausing as he wiped down the counter.

When had he become so domesticated?

"She's dating Rina now… and she kissed me, and out of anger I punched her. It was justified, trust me," I took a seat in the kitchen as he threw down the towel.

"Oh," he paused. "Ino came by today."

I blanched, looking up at him faster than I intended.

"In fact, she just left a few minutes ago."

I said nothing and he took a seat near me, rubbing thoughtfully at his scruffy, dirty blonde beard.

"Now, I know you two broke up, and you're really mad and all of that, but she did come to apologize. She said you've been avoiding her and that she didn't know what else to do to contact you."

"Of course I've been avoiding her," I spat, hatefully. It had been bad, terrible. It had hurt me so much… I was still hurting. Being heartbroken was the worst. This was far worse than the first time.

"Look, you two were really good friends before all of this romantic relationship stuff… I don't want you to just give up on your relationship… at least salvage the platonic one."

"Dad, it's not so easy," I mumbled.

He was silent for a moment, but then said, "Well, whatever it is you decide, I love you a lot, ok? I'm going to swing by the station to surprise Anko, and then I'm heading to work. I guess you could look around the kitchen for something to eat… Or maybe I could take you back to school early and you can find some food there."

"I'll manage here. I don't really want to put up with Karin in the mood I'm in. The last thing I need to do is punch her too."

"Alright kiddo," he said before grabbing the keys and leaving.

The silence of my house was incredibly comfortable.

I lay in bed, ignoring the protests of my empty stomach. I wasn't in the mood for leftovers nor was I in the mood for instant noodles or anything else that was dried and processed and existing in the pantry.

Ever since the breakup, I haven't had much of an appetite at all.

With a frown, I remembered the letter in my pocket. I carefully peeled open my pocket and pulled the letter out. It was worn along the creases created by the folding. I must've been lying there for almost twenty minutes, staring at Temari's name and address, blindly.

This would be the last I heard from Ino. I would be sure of that.

I opened it with care. The letter was handwritten, in pen. Along the page (front and back) were lots of scribbled out words that I wouldn't bother trying to figure out. Instead, I read the letter she thought was best for me to read—not the letter she had previously written in her mistakes—the letter than was in my hands.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I know you don't want to hear from me, and that you're still mad. I fear you'll be mad at me forever. But I just want to take the time to apologize to you and for you to accept my apology. I'm very sorry that I treated you the way I did. I hadn't started a relationship with you with any intention to hurt you. I really did care about you as a friend._

_I started dating you, because my parents refused to accept me as who I was; no way their little Ino could like girls. Honestly, I still wasn't sure about that part, but their denial of my orientation confused me further. They knew me best. If they said I wasn't bi then who was I to argue? But, I did feel some attraction to you. I do feel attraction towards women. It took me a long time to figure that out. All summer, I spent my time experimenting with the possibility._

_While on vacation, I met a girl named Jesse. Confused about who I was, I engaged in a lot of sexual acts with her and others. It honestly didn't ease my mind at all. It was easy to have sex and enjoy it. There was nothing but physical attraction there, and that wasn't enough, in my opinion. After summer ended I kept in touch with Jesse and continued to meet up with her, after I'd visit Sasuke at school. I did feel guilty about cheating on him, but our relationship was rather empty, and I knew I'd be leaving him soon—at least, before he left me._

_One night, after sleeping with Jesse, we got into a random conversation about the magnitude of our relationship. We obviously weren't in love or anything. I talked to her about how I used to love Sasuke, but how our relationship wasn't founded on anything after breaking up and getting back together multiple times. She agreed, saying that that was obvious due to the fact that I was in bed with her. And then she spoke of you, Sakura. She said she met you at school and that you were incredibly attractive, but it was obvious you weren't really into her at all despite all the flirting she had done and the times you two had gone out. A few days after Jesse mentioned you, Temari said she ran into you, and she said the same thing about your new air of attractiveness._

_The following week, I broke up with Sasuke, and went to seek you out. Sakura, when I saw you I knew that I wanted you. You were more than attractive to me. You had matured and you were sexy and confident. I'd never seen you that way before. I'd never felt that sort of attraction for you before. And there you were, willing to let go of the past._

_It didn't take me long to realize that my attraction for you was merely on the physical side._

I stopped reading, to attempt to digest her obviously distraught writing. She dated me to… make her parents angry? And Jesse… No wonder she knew who I was talking about when I said I was dating Ino. I should've been more attentive. I should've noticed how strange that was. It had hit me, for a brief moment, but then it was gone. I was so blinded by love. I was so stupid.

I didn't want to read anymore, but the words filled in all of the blanks. There was so much more to read. So much more to know. I just couldn't turn my back on it, no matter how painful it was.

_I had been hoping for more, honestly I had been, Sakura. I just, didn't feel that emotional attachment I thought I'd feel for you. I slept around and cheated on you, and you knew. I know you knew, but you didn't say or do anything and I continued, even though I knew it was wrong. While at the beach, I continued what I was doing, but the guilt built up and when I returned home, I knew I needed to right things between us._

_Desperate for some sort of redemption, I thought sleeping with you would create that bond between us. I knew you wouldn't sleep with me, until you were sure I loved you, but I took advantage of you once again. For that I am sorry. I was hoping that, if I didn't love you, I could learn to love you. You were so sweet and caring. I really didn't know why I couldn't love you like you loved me. That's why I said that I loved you, before… I was desperate for it to work. I really did want to love you._

_Aside from my inability to love you on a romantic level, I do still love you as a friend. I hope we can start over. I'm really sorry about everything. I don't deserve your love, Sakura. If I could, I would've made it so that none of this would have ever happened. I'm so sorry I used you in trying to figure myself out. I'm sorry my bi-curiosity ruined our friendship. I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure out that I'm capable of being sexually attracted to women, but I can't love women. I don't see a future in a relationship with a woman._

_Please give me another chance, as a friend,  
Ino_

I folded the letter and replaced it back in its envelope.; the envelope addressed to Temari.

Crying, I took it downstairs and set it in the fireplace; the fireplace that was new and had yet to be used.

I lit three matches, and threw them all atop the letter one by one; strike, toss… strike, toss… strike, toss. It caught fire each time a match struck its surface. The letter didn't burn all the way, but that was enough for me. I sat, fuming silently, and watched as the singed edges stopped glowing a hot orange.

Thirty minutes must've passed of me watching, and crying, and hating myself… Hating Ino for using me.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I took it out, expecting it to be Ino, or maybe Rina. No, it was my mom. (3) Instead of instinctively ignoring the call, I answered. She seemed surprised, obviously noticing that I never answered when she called.

She asked me to dinner, and I complied; I was hungry and tired and depressed. As my mother, I expected her to fix that.

* * *

1- OMG IT DRIVES ME INSANE WHEN PEOPLE CHEW ON THEIR STRAWS. o_o lol  
2- FINALLY! go Sakura!  
3- How anticlimactic...

**A/N: So, I guess this chapter clears things up with Ino a bit. Honestly, the girl was just confused, cut her some slack. People do stupid things when they're confused. The next chapter is THE END! :O I can't believe it.**

**So, thank you for reading and please review,  
E.E.**


	25. I Hit a Neutral

**A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alcohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously. I don't own anything that's not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter 25: I Hit a Neutral**

I bid goodbye to Hinata who always made it her job to surprise me with a brief call every now and then. It was nice to hear from her; it was always nice to hear from her. My internship was tough, and I always needed a pick me up.

Sighing for perhaps the trillionth time that day I left the nurse's station and rolled the cart out of the ER.

Somewhere down the hall, in another room, a woman was wailing.

I'd grown hardened to wails of despair and loss. I'd heard them countless times before. At first they'd made me depressed, freezing me to the spot, but now…

After seeing people, fathers, mothers, children, die on the operating table… I barely flinched when I heard the cries of their loved ones.

To be frank, these deaths weren't often. My university's hospital was superb. But they did happen. Sometimes, there wasn't much you could do to save someone.

Sometimes, you just had to let them go.

But I've learned that letting go is hard.

"Haruno," I jumped, almost scattering the all of the items that needed to be sterilized.

We had successfully stitched up a girl who had been brought in from a car accident, unconscious. It wasn't a bad accident, but the fact she had been unconscious was what concerned us. She could've hit her head, but the most likely cause was shock.

I turned to see Shizune with an annoyed look on her face and not a single black hair on her head out of place.

"Tsunade said she wanted you to see her in her office," her face fell back into its usual state of neutrality, and she proceeded to take the cart from me and nudge me away.

I watched her walk away for a moment, still having trouble dissecting her character. She was quiet, yet demanding when she wanted to be. She didn't particularly favor me, yet she didn't dislike me. I guess she didn't like first year graduate student interns. Perhaps she was still mad about walking in on Tsunade and I using our mouths for something other than talking.

That had been a strange day. I didn't really know what to do. My boss/ professor was coming onto me, and I felt that if I rejected her, my medical career would be ruined before it could even lift off. After we finished making out, she hit me over the head for "being a cowardly slut (albeit a good kisser)" and advised me that I'd probably find myself in a situation like that again because I was a woman and that she wanted me to "do what is right" even if that meant losing a great job. I never got around to explaining to Shuizune about what happened.

It hadn't taken me long to discover their relationship, after that fiasco. Shizune was a bundle of emotion for a while after that. Tsunade didn't seem phased at all. If Shizune hadn't hated me before then, she hated me afterwards. Her deep brown, almost black, eyes were constantly on me. I found it unnerving because I didn't like being watched.

As I watched her walk off, I smiled, however. She was looking out for me; I could've taken care of the dirty medical supplies and taking them was her way of saying we were at an understanding. She knew how Tsunade got sometimes, and had probably forgiven me for what happened (but hey, it wasn't my fault anyways). Tsunade favoring me was due to my medical knowledge and ease of learning. I was her favorite student.

With a smile I headed away from the ER and up a few stories so I could get to her office. I spared some passing visitors, patients, nurses, and doctors brief smiles as I walked and rode the elevator. That was one thing this job was forcing me to do—work with people. I didn't find it as difficult as I thought I would. Though, I did often get comments from little kids about my hair, some of which weren't all that kind. I didn't want to be known as the "crazy doctor" but honestly, I didn't really care much about what they thought.

I knocked on Tsunade's office door and she beckoned me in. In the office sat my mentor and another woman. I'd seen her before, and felt a bit of my defensive side peak its way out from inside. Inner Sakura was attempting to resurface due to jealousy and embarrassment.

"Oh, Sakura," Tsunade said as I entered the room.

The other woman turned and gave me a smug smirk.

"Hello Sakura," she said, and I blushed.

"Hello Kurenai," I muttered, glancing away from the woman's piercing brown eyes.

Tsunade, unable to keep her laughter in, began laughing madly. I pouted and crossed my arms, not wanting to relive my embarrassing moments with the beautiful woman.

"Oh come on, just let it go," I huffed and Kurenai chuckled at my embarrassment. She brushed her hair back, pinning Tsunade with a look. While doing this, I thought back to when I first saw her, just about a year before.

_I rang the doorbell, unsure of the address. This was the first time I'd be going to Rina's house. I'd been spending a lot of time with Rina, because she had just broken up with Temari and was having a hard time with grasping the fact that Temari was scum and she had merely been seduced._

_As I waited impatiently for someone to answer the door, I thought back to how I felt when I found out that Temari had just been playing with me. I was convinced we were in love… it was hard, but I got over i, with help from Hinata and Ino (who knew nothing of my homosexuality then). _

_It was Rina's dad who opened the door. He was on the phone and he looked at me and silently beckoned me in with a hand gesture. I'd met him plenty of times and he'd always been nice to me._

_After shutting the door, he pointed up towards the 2__nd__ floor and I nodded my understanding. Rina was in her room. Having never been to the house, I made my way upstairs and tried the first door I got to. Opening it up, I found it to be empty. There was a large, king-sized bed within it, and I assumed it was her parents room, granted that there were no k-pop posters everywhere._

_The next door I tried was the bathroom. When I opened the door, the rug caught it about halfway, and it refused to open any further._

_Annoyed with my ill luck, I tried another door. As soon as I opened the door, I knew it was her room. It was fairly frigid in comparison to the rest of the house, and it smelled like Rina. A somewhat fruity, yet placid scent—it was very pleasing to the nose, like freshly sliced apples._

_However, all of the details of her room faded into my peripheral as soon as I laid eyes on Rina, and someone else. Sitting on the bed was Rina, and she was in someone's embrace. A woman with somewhat unruly black hair was kissing her all over her face and petting her head._

"_Oh," I uttered in embarrassment, realizing I had walked in on Rina and a lady friend. The woman looked up and her beauty momentarily stunned me—if there was a single word I would use to describe her, it'd have to be hot (and I wasn't trying to be disrespectful in any way). Her piercing brown eyes looked up in surprise at me and Rina's face was stained in an unforgiving blush as she buried her face into the woman's neck._

"_Sorry," I squeaked, feeling epically uncomfortable as I stepped back and shut the door. I swiftly made my way downstairs and was almost out the door when I heard Rina pursuing me._

"_Wait," she called out to me, before I decided to stop. I didn't really have a reason to be running. I was just uncomfortable, albeit a little mad (due to the fact she had invited me over without saying a thing about this woman) and a great deal surprised. I'd never expected Rina to date older women. I mean I hadn't expected her to be dating so soon after breaking up with Temari either. And her dad! He'd just sent me upstairs, without any word of another visitor. Didn't he care his daughter was alone in her room with a woman so much older than her?_

"_Where are you going?" she looked at me with a frown. Her lower lip was quivering._

"_I, um, I didn't know you had other company," I said, watching her face take on a confused look. "It's just… wow, she's pretty hot, yeah? I wasn't expecting it, that's all. I didn't know you liked older women…"_

_Her look of confusion, morphed into a look of hesitant humor, and finally she began to laugh. She covered her face with her hands briefly before shaking her head._

"_Sakura," she said. I looked up to see that her brown eyes were red and lacquered, hinting at a recent bout of tears. "That was my mom."_

_And then it dawned on me. Her mom. The woman had been hugging her, petting her head, and kissing her cheeks in an attempt to make her feel better. She wasn't trying to seduce her—she was comforting her!_

"_Holy shit, that's your mom?" I was so surprised. Rina's mom was beautiful, but it wasn't until she had uttered those words that I saw their physical similarities. The hair and the eye color, the cute nose and the lips. Rina was just a younger, less sexy version of the woman (though I was sure the sexiness would come with age)._

_And if things couldn't get any more embarrassing for me, her mom appeared behind me._

"_Yes, I'm Rina's 'pretty hot' mom."_

_I was sure my face was redder than a tomato at that point, but I turned to face her._

"_Uh, hi," I offered her my hand, attempting to keep my eyes pinned to hers and not let them stray, because there were other things about her that were sexy, aside from her face. I refused to let myself get caught staring._

"_You must be Sakura," she said with a small, assessing smile. I was a bit worried; she looked like she was strict. "It's nice to meet you. You can just call me Kurenai, or' hot mom' if you really want to."_

"_Mom!" Rina exclaimed, embarrassed._

"_What? It's not everyday I get to meet the pink haired girl who turned my daughter into a lesbian," she said offhandedly. I blushed and Rina blushed, looking like she wanted to disappear._

"_I'm not a lesbian!" she screamed in embarrassment. This was true. Rina was totally bi._

"_Ah, don't worry about that and go have fun with your cute little friend," she said, ruffling her daughter's hair before leaving us be._

_One of our usual silences slipped between us before I said, "I can't believe this… your mom is super hot. And she's really young. And your dad… well, you always say he's old, but he's never looked old to me at all, and I'm just really confused."_

"_This is really weird. Can you stop calling my mom hot? And she's really not that young…"_

"_Erm, yeah… sorry about that. I wasn't expecting that at all… let's just forget this even happened. Look, I brought some movies with me. Let's just watch them, ok?"_

I loathed the fact that Kurenai and Tsunade were fairly good friends and the story of my embarrassment was shared once she knew I was interning under Tsunade.

"Aw, come on Sakura, it's a good laugh," Kurenai smiled smartly.

"Yeah, yeah," I scoffed taking the only other empty seat in Tsunade's office.

"Well, I'm off now. Sakura's mom and I have a shopping date!" and with that she strutted out of the office.

Damn, I was sure I would never get over the fact that she had the most perfect legs ever.

"If she wasn't married," Tsunade sighed dreamily.

"Huh?" with that comment, she had my attention. Didn't she have Shizune? No need to be a pig.

"Sakura," she finally decided to get on track. She leant forward; her wheat blonde bangs slipped into her face. My eyes strayed from her light brown eyes to her tantalizing cleavage. Her breasts were practically spilling out of her low cut shirt.

Suddenly, pain bloomed on the top of my head and I realized she'd hit me! Cradling my cranium, I complained.

"Hey! What the fuck? Are you trying to give me a concussion?"

"People with big heads don't get concussions," she said matter-of-factly, and I knew there was no truth to her words. She was just trying to piss me off.

"Oh, well you would know," I bit back, sticking my tongue at her while rubbing away the pain. "It's not my fault your boobs are hanging out."

Tsunade had rather large breasts.

"Look, we could go back and forth all day, or you tell me exactly why you want the rest of the day off."

I froze on spot, giving her an incredulous look.

"We already talked about this," I said worriedly. "You already ok'd my leave."

"Oh yeah," she said, seeming to suddenly remember. "Well, one of the nurses called in sick, so you, as an intern, have to fill in."

"You've gotta be kidding me," I said, instantly downhearted.

"Whoa, calm down. I'm just kidding… are you about to cry?"

I looked up into her stoic expression and shook my head.

"No," I lied.

She gave me a knowing smile.

"You know, Sakura, despite our disagreements, we know a lot about each other. "

"…Can I leave now?" That was a discussion I didn't want to start at that time.

She gave me an irritated look, but leant back in her chair and rolled her pretty brown eyes. Tsunade was very attractive—she had a sophisticated kind of beauty, but in reality, she was a really lighthearted person once away from the work place. She was easy going and a bit too keen for the bottle. It was a surprise to run into her at every bar I went to after I turned 21. And I never really enjoyed that, granted that at the beginning, she was nothing but a professor to me, and it was uncomfortable to have her drunkenly hit on me at the bar, and then have to sit through her 8AM seminar the following Tuesday.

"Sure, whatever. Thank Shizune on your way out. She said she'd cover the remainder of your night shift for you."

I smiled, nodded, and dashed out of her office.

Today was shaping up to be a perfect day. I hoped into my car, noting that it was beginning to get a bit chilly out and drove home. I was living with my mom now; well, when she was in town. She'd bought a nice, three-room flat near my university, just to be able to spend more time with me. She asked me to live with her, and I at first declined her offer. Why settle for living with my mom, when she had promised me she would pay for my living arrangements once I started graduate school?

She had proposed this my final year of undergrad. My scholarship covered tuition and board so she had only been paying for my books and meal plan. Eventually, I realized that it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Our relationship had been healing, and she'd be saving herself the trouble of purchasing two apartments the following year. She bought me a car and she generally left me alone when I said I wanted to be left alone. Half the time, she was off in other places for photo shoots.

When I got home, I shed my clothes in my room and quickly hoped into the shower. I was running low on time.

I had to admit, it was nice to not have to share a bathroom and shower with strangers.

It didn't take me long to blow-dry my hair and fix it just how I liked it. I ironed my clothes, put them on, and left the house in a rush.

In my mind, I had formulated exactly how this evening would play out, countless times. I was all about perfection. I wouldn't screw this up.

Fifteen minutes later, the building that served as my first destination came into view. I put my trusty little Toyota in park and I coolly got out of the car and walked up to the door. As soon as I opened it, the fresh sent of flower petals drifted about as the entry bell rang. I saw no one was at the counter, but just as soon as I noted that, she poked her head out of one of the aisles.

"Oh, Sakura," she seemed startled and offered me a hesitant smile.

"Hey Ino," I smiled back at her, confidently.

"You're… early," she checked the clock posted on one of the aisles of tall refrigerators filled with bouquets and other flower arrangements. The potted plants section was being watered by an automatic, misting water machine, in a similar fashion the produce was at supermarkets.

"Yeah, well, I just didn't want to be late," I blushed, giving the place a quick look over. I looked back at Ino and she smiled at me with a cute giggle.

"Hmm, well let me just put these flowers where they need to be."

She disappeared completely into the aisle and I looked around a bit more. They sold flower seeds too. I ended up to just watching Ino finish up her job, mildly humored. She always complained about having to cover the store for her parents because they were having trouble finding qualified florists to work there. Ino was always ranting about how it interfered with her work with the EPA, but I could tell she really loved the shop. She was the perfect caretaker for those flowers, and she looked perfect amongst them.

Ino's hair had grown long, once again. It was at its silkiest and it always smelled like flowers. Her eyes were deep, and darkened with maturity—however, they still managed to challenge the cloudless summer skies.

Her return into my life was… strange. After we had broken up, I'd found myself in a dark place. Nothing seemed good anymore. Nothing seemed like it was worth it. But, as every heartbreak went, I had to move on. It went from me thinking about Ino constantly to me only thinking of her every now and then. I didn't bother dating anymore, making sure I had no time at all for that. I barely had time for friends—yes friends. Rina had forgiven me for breaking Temari's nose and Temari had apologized for flirting with me and invading my personal space; we had come to an understanding that we could be friends, but she had to stop trying to ruin my love life (not that that mattered, because I hadn't been dating). Hinata, Naruto, Shikamara, and Lee talked to me every now and then, but aside from that, I isolated myself. I was in a bad place, emotionally, and I didn't even know how I'd react to different people.

Eventually, I mellowed out. I hit a neutral, and I couldn't surpass or fall beneath it. I accepted that and lived my life. I graduated, fully prepared to take on the world, landed a great internship, and mended my relationship with my mother. My dad and stepmom were expecting a child. I'd have a sibling—the thought itself was… strange, but delightful at the same time.

Yet, things still seemed dull and empty. And then… well, Ino and I ran into one another.

Suddenly, all of those feelings I thought I had repressed so many years before came flooding back to me. I knew that was how it was going to be. Even seeing someone who looked a little like her made me remember my feelings and love—made me hurt, just a little.(1) But this was different. When Ino returned… it was…

_Her blue eyes stared into my green for the longest time, waiting for a reply, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. I was afraid of what I might say. I hesitantly parted my lips to speak but she beat me to it._

"_Hey."_

"_Hey," I replied back to her. She assessed me for a split second and shook her head._

"_Wow, I wasn't… what I mean to say is… well, this is unexpected," she finally got out._

_I nodded at her, still unable to speak._

"_How's it going? How have you been?" she was eager to talk. Eager to know. What? What did she want to know? How I've been without her? If I was doing something with my life?_

"_Ok," I said shrugging. Before I had seen her, I was in a rush to get to the bank to cash my paycheck… Now…. Well, now I had no idea what I wanted to do._

_She gave me a worried smile and I smiled back at her—sort of. I bet she was worried I was still hurting because of her. But honestly, it had been three years and I was ok._

Of course, the rest of what followed was expected. Being so aloof with her apparently shrouded me in mystery and she wanted to figure me out. We had dinner at my house with my mom, and then we had sex. (2)

Just thinking about it still confused me. I hadn't even really thought about it. It had all seemed so natural, like we had been doing so for years—dinner with my mom, and then sex. We repeated this process a couple more times.

That was, until I decided I'd had enough. During our ninth dinner (yes, I was counting, but subconsciously of course), I turned to her and said in a matter of fact way, _"Ino, we're not a couple. This isn't what I want."_

My mom kind of gave us a confused look and excused herself, complaining about confusing lesbians and my lack of conversational skills.

I then spent the following fifteen minutes pouring my heart out to Ino, but telling her that I just couldn't bring myself to love her as I did before and that since that was the case, I couldn't enjoy the two of us together. Ino looked genuinely hurt.

Ino and I kept in touch, and a strange sort of comfortably awkward relationship developed between us. After a couple of months, I realized that this relationship we had found ourselves in was the best we could have. Not best friends, not girlfriends, not enemies, not lovers—but something else. Something that comes after all of those strange stages; something better.

We'd been through a lot.

"Sakura."

I turned to see she was no longer standing in front of me. I went back to the counter of the small shop and grabbed a couple red and white peppermints in the mint bowl. I loved their free mints—they satiated my once a month desire for sweets.

"You're so weird," Ino teased before handing me the bouquet I had come for.

I shrugged before saying, "I don't know how else to be."

I smiled at her, before giving her the money for the beautiful arrangement of whites and blues and purples. They smelled delightful.

"Thank you; I can see you put a lot of effort into this."

"She'll love them," Ino sighed dreamily with a cute smile.

I left the store, feeling rather good about myself, still convinced I was having a good day. I rolled down my windows and sang, terribly out of tune with the radio. I realized how different I was now. Ino was different too. Perhaps Karma had dealt her a hand for the way she used to be, but now she was different, and she deserved better. Had she wanted me the way she wanted me now, years earlier, I could've been that better. But, that's just not how things turned out. "We put our feet just where they had to go."(3) It was weird, how someone who was so sure she didn't love me, could turn around and love me the way she said she couldn't. But, whatever the case, I was sure we'd both find happiness. I was almost certain I had found mine.

As I pulled into the driveway of my final destination, I abandoned those thoughts on the street. I refused to look back.

I hadn't even shut my door when I was tackled in a tight hug. Suddenly, the scent of freshly sliced apples reached my nose, and I knew that she was finally in my embrace. I had missed her so much. I hadn't seen her in so long. I hugged her back as tightly as I could without ruining the bouquet.

She pulled back and I smiled at her. She was so beautiful.

"Oh, I've missed you sooooo much!" she gushed, and I blushed at her. She looked so much older than I remembered. Her webcam did her no justice.

"Me too," I smiled. I offered her the flowers awkwardly and she smiled, pulling me into the house. I watched silently as she bustled about the kitchen, making sure the flowers we properly taken care of. It was then I noticed a different scent. She had prepared dinner.

"Please don't tell me you got off your flight and didn't even rest," I chided and she blushed.

"I couldn't sleep, even if I wanted!" she exclaimed. "I figured you'd be hungry anyways. You work such terrible hours."

Her pretty brown eyes narrowed as that usually did when she smiled and I could only smile back goofily.

"Rina, can I kiss you?'

I know it seems like a dumb question, but I still wasn't sure where I stood with her, relationship wise. Rina didn't live anywhere near me any longer. She was completing her graduate studies at the best engineering school in the nation. It just so happened, that school was over a 9-hour drive from where I was doing graduate studies. We talked on the phone as much as school and work permitted, and we had Skype video-session every now and then too.(4) Over the past year, my feelings for Rina seemed to develop surprisingly fast. It had gotten to the point that hearing her voice on the phone was all that I looked forward to any more and if I didn't hear from her, I got unreasonably cranky. I took it upon myself to tell her that, and asked her to be my girlfriend during one of our video-sessions. She smiled and accepted, happily. Aside from our "I miss you" admittances taking on a different meaning, our relationship seemed to stay the same.

I hadn't ever told her that I loved her. I did love her, but I was foolishly afraid. The last time I told a girl I loved her, we broke up, but I suppose that didn't matter.

Rina's cheeks took on the brightest blush I had ever seen her sport.

She was beautiful. She would always be beautiful to me.

"Yes, of course," she said before shortening the distance between us.

I angled my head and kissed her soft, moist lips tenderly as she brought her arms up to drape them over my shoulders. Her lips parted gently and we prolonged the kiss. I'd never felt so alive in my life. I reluctantly pulled away, not wanting to overkill our first kiss together as a proper couple. My eyes began to water and I sighed deeply, happy.

Today was a perfect day. Tomorrow would be a perfect day too. And the day after that. As long as I had Rina. As long as we had one another.

"I love you," she said without hesitation. Her deep brown eyes gazed at me with love I knew was as old as the time we had known one another. I smiled, and kissed her again, claiming her warm lips as my own.

"I love you too," I replied gently, imagining the days to come with Rina by my side.

**END**

* * *

1- I hate this. =/ When you're trying to get over someone and you keep seeing people who look like him/her. TOTALLY HEARTBREAKING. lol  
2- True love never dies... or in this case "WTF SAKURA? AGAIN! DON'T YOU EVER LEARN?"  
3- Lol, song lyrics? Not really my style, but it's just one of those lines that will forever stick wtih me. I thought it was fitting.  
4- Skype anyone? :3 lol, jk, that program makes my comp run soooooooooo slowwwww.

**A/N: lol, so please tell me I had you going with the flower shop scene for a moment there. :P So, I know I said this was an Ino/sakura fic, but it was primarily them, right? People come and go-love comes and goes. And Rina is awesome, right? Well, everyone, this is the end here. I really hope you liked the story. :D I just want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing! It's been a fun ride! Anyways, let me know what you thought of this chapter and/or what you thought of this story as a whole.**

**As for future projects, I do hope to write a Naruto canon story (which the pairing would be Ino/Sakura-seriously this time, lol) and an InuYasha AU in which the pairing would be (Sango/Kagome), both of these stories will be deviating from my usual teenaged high school angst trend. With that said, I'm having a bit of trouble writing (with a few additional hinderences) and I'm not too sure either story will be out anytime soon. I guess I'll be taking a break from writing to get things together. That doesn't mean I'll be gone forever though! ****Thank you so much for sticking with me for so long; it's been nice getting to know some of you. :3**

**So long for now,  
E.E.**


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